More Puns

What do you get when you cross an Owl and a Rooster? A cock that stays up all night. 

Constipated People Don't Give A Crap. 

Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying, "No Hard Feelings." 

What did the doctor say to the patient after surgery? That's enough out of you. 

The majority of HMO plans I've seen can be likened to hospital gowns -- you only think you're covered. 

Mary: "I'm starting to question my sexuality." Jill: "Why is that?" Mary: "Two of my exes are dating each other!" 

Politically correct 'Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer' 

Rudolph was a four-hooved ungulate, Who, incidentally, possessed a nasal appendage of a maroon lustre.

Consequently, if circumstances were to present themselves that he ever came into your view.

You would most undoubtedly remark at to its illuminary qualities.

The multitude of other members of the population in his ecological community, Had previously teased, chuckled boisterously, and dubbed him unspeakable pseudonyms, the objective of which was to lower his self esteem and make him miserable.

They also excluded him from participation in leisure activities consistent with their species.

However, on the twenty-fourth of December in an unspecified year... A mythological, supernatural being inherent to western culture (who symbolizes the Christmas attitude and allegedly brings gifts to children) arrived through the supersaturated, humid air.

He formally invited Rudolph, due to his extraordinary nasal characteristic. To stand at the forefront of his snow vehicle with the express purpose that he navigate through the nocturnal mist.

At that point, the multitude of other members of the population in his ecological community who had previously teased, chuckled boisterously, and dubbed him unspeakable pseudonyms, reversed their disposition toward Rudolph to a more congenial, amicable relationship.

They consequently exclaimed with great exaltation and fervor, "Rudolph, the antlered mammal with a maroon nasal appendage, You shall most certainly be recorded in the annals of time, and your memory will be preserved for posterity!"