Made It To Heaven!

 A man appeared before St. Peter at the pearly gates. 

"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked. 

"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered. "Once, on a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of high-testosterone bikers, who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground." I yelled, "Now, back off biker boy or you'll answer to me!" 

St. Peter was impressed. "When did this happen?" 

"Just a couple minutes ago."