Tuesday, April 26, 2022

Men Strike Back

 How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it.

ManWhy is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.ManWhy do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.ManHow do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."ManHow do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven.ManWhy do men fart more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.ManIf your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.ManWhat's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman who won't do what she's told.ManI married a Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.ManScientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.ManWhy do men die before their wives? They want to.ManWomen will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.ManIn the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.ManSend this to a few good men who need a laugh and to the select few women who know this is all bulls__t anyway.

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