Baptizing a Newfoundlander

Valerie is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk,when she comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. She proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon he asks Valerie, "Are you ready to find Jesus?"

Valerie answers, "Yes, I am."

So the preacher grabs her and dunks her in the water. He pulls her up and asks the drunk,"Sister have you found Jesus?"

Valerie replies, "No, I haven't found Jesus."

The preacher shocked at the answer, dunks her into the water again for a little longer. He again pulls her out of the water and asks again, "Have you found Jesus my sister?"

Valerie again answers, "No, I haven't found Jesus."

By this time the preacher is at his wits end and dunks Valerie in the water again ---but this time holds her down for about 30 seconds and when she begins kicking her arms and legs he pulls her up. The preacher again asks the drunk, "For the love of God have you found Jesus?"

Valerie wipes her eyes and catches her breath and says to the preacher, "Are you sure this is where he fell in?"