A stupid question deserves an appropriate answer....

I was in Costco buying a large bag of Purina for my Labrador retriever and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her. Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned and was that why I was in the hospital.  I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my ass and a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.