Welcome to 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow!! Posting is at 10AM, Noon and 2PM CST daily. Up to 12 days of posts on the main page. The archives have more. You can forward posts by clicking on the envelope at the bottom of the post. Enjoy your stay! *** If you need to contact me, or have a copyright issue, please use the "Contact The Wizard" form on the left side of 'OZ'. Original source and author is cited and credited in each post where possible. ***
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Easy Peasy, Oh so breezy!
1. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
2. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
3. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
4. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
5. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
6. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.
Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:
You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.
5ives is a collection of lists of five things. 
It is written by a person called Merlin Mann — a stony recluse who probably lives in a tree somewhere in Northern California. Little is know about Merlin apart from what can be gleaned by the caregivers who collect his waste and deliver fresh boxes of Kleenex™ for him to wear on his feet. Merlin is believed to have been born at exactly 2/3 of the way into the 20th century, somewhere in a large midwestern city. Sparse photographic evidence suggests Merlin may have a vestigial tail and enjoy a taste for roulette and sand art. Merlin is “white” in color. All we can be sure of is that there appears to be no forseeable end in sight for these pointless, narcissistic lists of his. Which is clearly a mixed blessing for everyone.
Five things I’ll bet can be hard for pirates
1. getting decent disability insurance
2. rum allergies
3. sexual harassment from that fancy new bosun
4. irritable bowel syndrome
5. finding one-legged pants that won’t make your hips look too broad --more--
*5ives
This story only goes to show that Mother Nature celebrates diversity & compassion. Remember this my friends. "Much of life can never be explained but only witnessed." - Rachel Naomi Remen, MD
NAIROBI (AFP) - A baby hippopotamus that survived the tsunami waves on the Kenyan coast has formed a strong bond with a giant male century-old tortoise, in an animal facility in the port city of Mombassa, officials said.
The hippopotamus, nicknamed Owen and weighing about 300 kilograms (650 pounds), was swept down Sabaki River into the Indian Ocean, then forced back to shore when tsunami waves struck the Kenyan coast on December 26, before wildlife rangers rescued him.
"It is incredible. A-less-than-a-year-old hippo has adopted a male tortoise, about a century old, and the tortoise seems to be very happy with being a 'mother'," ecologist Paula Kahumbu, who is in charge of Lafarge Park, told AFP.
"After it was swept and lost its mother, the hippo was traumatized. It had to look for something to be a surrogate mother. Fortunately , it landed on the tortoise and established a strong bond. They swim, eat and sleep together," the ecologist added. "The hippo follows the tortoise exactly the way it follows its mother. If somebody approaches the tortoise, the hippo becomes aggressive, as if protecting its biological mother," Kahumbu added.
"The hippo is a young baby, he was left at a very tender age and by nature, hippos are social animals that like to stay with their mothers for four years," he explained.
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
This is a real story that shows that our differences don't matter much when we need the comfort of another. We could all learn a lesson from these two creatures, "Look beyond the differences and find a way to walk the path together.
Diversity In The Early Gay Rights Movement
The list of LGBT heroes has one obvious flaw, diversity. The early stages of the gay rights struggle lacked minority activists for numerous reasons, chief being that people of color were waging an equally important battle for civil rights. And in many cases the gay community mirrored the social partisanship of the non-gay world until the cultural shift of the 1970's.
But there are notable individuals who have contributed to both gay rights and advancing their own roots.
Women in our community have had a long history of leadership, and since our social activities were limited up until the 1970's, the few existing bars and clubs welcomed all individuals regardless of gender. And many of those places were located in black neighborhoods like Harlem , providing a safe haven from the police where gay men and women could discuss issues and relationships with mild freedom.
One great example is Bayard Rustin.
Rustin acted as key advisor to Martin Luther King Jr. in the 60’s, educating King on pacifist resistance and co-organizing the Southern Christian Leadership Council.
He felt compelled to be open about his homosexuality, and informed King that he would resign if it hindered their work.
King refused his offer, though the issue was kept quiet and was a feared secret in both the NAACP and the SCLC. Rustin was forced to resign his seat on the SCLC in 1960 to avoid a morals charge in Congress, and was furthermore scrutinized by the Strom Thurmond in the Senate, who alleged that Rustin and King were intimately involved.
Following King’s death, he continued his work as an activist for Freedom House, and promoted ties between the civil rights movement and the Democratic Party. In 1986, he spoke on behalf on New York State Gay Rights Bill, and urged gay and lesbian outreach towards all minorities, to promote unity throughout the entire civil rights struggle.
Similar attitudes in the Latino, Asian and several religions have spurred organizations and cultural groups which cater to previously ignored minorities within the community. And most welcome all individuals regardless of color or creed.
With the support and strength of past and present pioneers and all parts of the gay and lesbian landscape, we have proven that the rainbow which defines our community holds true today, a testament to our unity and our achievement.
RURAL NORTHWEST CONNECTICUT -- Only in Sandra Boynton's world would you find a Monkee singing about being a penguin.
This should be followed by ALL of us who send e-mails. Please read the short letter below, even if you're sure you already follow proper procedures. An individual, who is a System Administrator for a large corporate system, has this to ask / say: Do you really know how to forward e-mails? 50% of us do; 50% of us DO NOT. Do you wonder why you get viruses or junk mail? Do you hate it? Every time you forward an e-mail there is information left over from the people who got the message before you, namely their e-mail addresses & names.
As the messages get forwarded along, the list of addresses builds, and builds, and builds, and all it takes is for some poor sap to get a virus, and his or her computer can send that virus to every E-mail address that has come across his computer. Or, someone can take all of those addresses and sell them or send junk mail to them in the hopes that you will go to the site and he will make five cents for each hit. That's right, all of that inconvenience over a nickel! How do you stop it? Well, there are several easy steps:
1) When you forward an e-mail, DELETE all of the other addresses that appear in the body of the message (at the top). That's right, DELETE them. Highlight them and delete them, backspace them, cut them, whatever it is you know how to do. It only takes a second. You MUST click the "Forward" button first and then you will have full editing capabilities against the body and headers of the message. If you don't click on "Forward" first, you won't be able to edit the message at all.
2) Whenever you send an e-mail to more than o ne person, do NOT use the To: or Cc: fields for adding e-mail addresses. Always use the BCC: (blind carbon copy) field for listing the e-mail addresses. This is the way the people you send to will only see their own e-mail address. If you don't see your BCC: option click on where it says To: and your address list will appear. Highlight the address and choose BCC: and that's it, it's that easy. When you send to BCC: your message will automatically say Undisclosed Recipients in the "TO:" field of the people who receive it.
3) Remove any "FW :" in the subject line. You can re-name the subject if you wish or even fix spelling.
(4) ALWAYS hit your Forward button from the actual e-mail you are reading. Ever get those e-mails that you have to open 10 pages to read the one page with the information on it? By Forwarding from the actual page you wish someone to view, you stop them from having to open many e-mails jus t to see what you sent.
5) Have you ever gotten an email that is a petition? It states a position and asks you to add your name and address and to forward it to 10 or 15 people or your entire address book. The email can be forwarded on and on and can collect thousands of names and email addresses. A FACT: The completed petition is actually worth a couple of bucks to a professional spammer because of the wealth of valid names and email addresses contained therein. If you want to support the petition, send it as your own personal letter to the intended recipient. Your position may carry more weight as a personal letter than a laundry list of names and email address on a petition.
Actually, if you think about it, who's supposed to send the petition in to whatever cause it supports? And don't believe the ones that say that the email is being traced, it just ain't so!) One of the main ones I hate is the ones that say that something like, Send this email to 10 people and you'll see something great run across your screen.. Or sometimes they'll just tease you by saying something really cute will happen. IT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN!!!!! (Trust me, I'm still seeing some of the same ones that I waited on 10 years ago!) I don't let the bad luck ones scare me either, they get trashed. Before you forward an Amber Alert, or a Virus Alert, or some of the other ones floating around nowadays, check them out before you forward them. Most of them are junk mail that's been circling the net for YEARS! Just about everything you receive in an email that is in question can be checked out at Snopes. Just go to www.snopes.com It's really easy to find out if its real or not. If it's not, please don't pass it on. So please, in the future, let's stop the junk mail and the viruses. Finally, here's an idea!!! Let's send this post to everyone we know. This is something that SHOULD be forwarded. Just click on the email icon or one of the social media buttons at the end of the post... forward it to everyone in your address book... that you want too... and use the rules above!
Dear Love Doctor,
I thought I’d see what you have to say to this: I found out last week that my boyfriend slept with his old boyfriend. It’s a long story, and there was a LOT of alcohol involved, but still, I’m thinking of calling it quits. Don’t know if I can forgive him.
Signed...
Dear Horse With No Name,
Well, first, you gotta leave some kinda catchy name, like the other people do. That’s how these things work. If you all don’t leave a catchy name, I reserve the right to just fricking make one up. So, Horse With No Name, first thing is, you should be grateful. I mean, your boyfriend and his ex-boyfriend only slept together. I mean, if you trust him that he’s telling the truth, you got damn lucky! There he was, in the arms of his ex-love, who probably dumped him- likely as not- and let’s face it- there’s a 50-50 chance he had a bigger wigglepole than you, and was a better lover and all that, and there he is, in his arms, drunk out of his clothes as likely as not- and they just slept!
Man, you escaped a close one there, buddy! Just imagine if they had been kissing and rubbing and slapping and moaning and sweating and leaking all through the night! You’d REALLY feel like crap! That might have even shown he actually loves him more than you, and doesn’t even respect you! You’d look like a fool, feel like a turd, smell like you were shat on. It would be absurd! (I’m gonna throw in some poetry here and there, like that, cause you gotta use your gift man, you gotta use your gift! Remember that).
Anyway, I think you should be grateful to him for staying true. Sounds like you have a real winner there, instead of some slutty two-bit batty boy of a skank. So should you leave him? Hell no! But between you and me, many more nights of sleeping in the arms of his ex-boyfriend could start to lead to some trouble. I wouldn’t allow it. Lay down the law!
A bottom-boy won’t admit it, but he likes a man that takes control. Draws a line in the sand! They all wanna be obedient, deep down, and let you run the show! (Just don’t tell them that! They’ll be hotter than a wasp nest in the outhouse! And you wouldn’t want that. Man, when you do someone that makes a guy mad, (I meant to type “when you do SOMETHING”, but “when you do someone” works too, and I got the scars to prove it!) Anyway, he’ll turn colder than a penguin’s pugglewhip! (and trust me, I know from personal experience- they are cold little things). So take it from me, you do NOT want to do anything that would piss off a guy! You do NOT want a cold bed! Where do you think the term “A cold shoulder” came from? He will be turned away from you, and not for some spooning either! Nope. Back door locked with no key in site! And take it from me- Puggle pumping is NOT an ideal long term relationship situation!
The Love Doctor
Baby Teeth
A baby is just born from a black mother and a white father. What is the colour of the baby's teeth?
Click above for the answer.
The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water
temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to
be. Here are some facts about the 1500s: These are interesting..
Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in
May, and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting
to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odour.
Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.
Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house
had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and
men, then the women and finally the children Last of all the babies. By
then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence
the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water."
Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood
underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the
cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it
rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and off
the roof. Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs."
There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed
a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess
up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung
over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into
existence.
The floor was dirt. Only the Wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying "dirt poor."
The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when
wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing.
As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until when you opened the
door it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in
the entranceway. Hence the saying a "thresh hold."
(Getting quite an education, aren't you?)
In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that
always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things
to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They
would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold
overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in
it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme, "Peas
porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days
old."
Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special.
When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It
was a sign of wealth that a man could "bring home the bacon."
They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit
around and "chew the fat." Those with money had plates made of pewter.
Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the
food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with
tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered
poisonous.
Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of
the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or "upper
crust."
Lead cups were used to drink ale or whiskey. The combination would
sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking
along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial.
They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the
family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they
would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a "wake."
England is old and small and the local folks started running out of
places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the
bones to a "bone-house" and reuse the grave. When reopening these
coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the
inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they
would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the
coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell.
Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the "graveyard
shift") to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be "saved by the
bell" or was considered a "dead ringer." And that's the truth..
Now, whoever said that History was boring !!! Educate someone...Share these facts with a friend.
Jeffery Straker (born in Punnichy, Saskatchewan) is a Canadian folk/roots singer-songwriter, who is based in Toronto, Ontario and Regina, Saskatchewan. His piano-based pop musical style has drawn comparisons to Elton John, Neil Young, Rufus Wainwright, and Kris Kristofferson.
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| Click Above to listen and order his latest CD Here are a few of my favourite songs by Jeffery Straker. |
Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good,
but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of
promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy
little smiley faces in this post- just the stone cold truth of our
great friendship...
1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.
4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
**Send this to 10 of your closest friends, then get depressed because you can only think of 4!
Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.
And always remember....when life hands you Lemons, ask for tequila and salt and call me over !!!!!
A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life. Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups -porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee.
When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: "If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups... And then you began eyeing each other's cups.
Now consider this: Life is the coffee; the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of Life we live. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided us." God brews the coffee, not the cups.......... Enjoy your coffee! "The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything." Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
Anyone used Ubuntu on Wayland rather than X as their display server? I am on Wayland on my laptop and testing compatibility with my apps. Display is fine.. Just curious. Then again I should just be asking if anyone out there uses Ubuntu.
* IMAGINE YOU ARE AT A PARTY....
* * YOU'VE BEEN DRINKING......
* * (not that you would...)
* * AND THEN YOU HAVE TO VISIT THE BATHROOM....
* * You open the door....
* and see this.
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally , the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear "the rules" From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note...
These are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon Or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work!Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something, or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
*I can pretty much confirm this was written by a single or divorced mail. If not, he soon will be!1. No plastic containers in microwave.
2. No water bottles in freezer.
3. No plastic wrap in microwave.
Johns Hopkins has recently sent this out in its newsletters. This information is being circulated at Walter Reed Army MedicalCenter as well. Dioxin chemicals causes cancer, especially breast cancer. Dioxins are highly poisonous to the cells of our bodies. Don't freeze your plastic bottles with water in them as this releases dioxins from the plastic. Recently, Dr. Edward Fujimoto, Wellness Program Manager at Castle Hospital, was on a TV program to explain this health hazard. He talked about dioxins and how bad they are for us. He said that we should not be heating our food in the microwave using plastic containers. This especially applies to foods that contain fat.
He said that the combination of fat, high heat, and plastics releases dioxin into the food and ultimately into the cells of the body. Instead, he recommends using glass, such as Corning Ware, Pyrex or ceramic containers for heating food. You get the same results, only without the dioxin. So such things as TV dinners, instant ramen and soups, etc., should be removed from the container and heated in something else. Paper isn't bad but you don't know what is in the paper. It's just safer to use tempered glass, Corning Ware, etc. He reminded us that a while ago some of the fast food restaurants moved away from the foam containers to paper.
The dioxin problem is one of the reasons. Also, he pointed out that plastic wrap, such as Saran, is just as dangerous when placed over foods to be cooked in the microwave. As the food is nuked, the high heat causes poisonous toxins to actually melt out of the plastic wrap and drip into the food. Cover food with a paper towel instead.
Stop at the picture for a second, and watch the Rain... then read on...
