5ives - Merlin’s Lists of Five Things

5ives is a collection of lists of five things. It is written by a person called Merlin Mann — a stony recluse who probably lives in a tree somewhere in Northern California. Little is know about Merlin apart from what can be gleaned by the caregivers who collect his waste and deliver fresh boxes of Kleenex™ for him to wear on his feet. Merlin is believed to have been born at exactly 2/3 of the way into the 20th century, somewhere in a large midwestern city. Sparse photographic evidence suggests Merlin may have a vestigial tail and enjoy a taste for roulette and sand art. Merlin is “white” in color. All we can be sure of is that there appears to be no forseeable end in sight for these pointless, narcissistic lists of his. Which is clearly a mixed blessing for everyone. 

Five things I’ll bet can be hard for pirates 

1. getting decent disability insurance 

2. rum allergies 

3. sexual harassment from that fancy new bosun 

4. irritable bowel syndrome 

5. finding one-legged pants that won’t make your hips look too broad --more--

*5ives