Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number
7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to
use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6
- Some people are like a Slinky...not really good for anything, but you
still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
Number
2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the
world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND
THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2021 - We know exactly where one cow with
mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in
America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal
immigrants and terrorists are located.
Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.
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