Stupid Is As Stupid Says...

ON TAKE A LEFT AT THE NEXT BURNING BUSH
"We’re going to the land of milk and honey. Anybody know the way?"

--an Israelite about to leave Egypt, in The Ten Commandments (1956)

ON DEWORDIFICATION, NECESSARY
Title of a US Postal Service plan to get more letter carriers to deliver mail on foot:

ROUTE
DEMOTORIZATION

ON THOSE OH-SO-TECHNICAL QUESTIONS

Customer: I’m an educated man, so don’t you dare talk down to me!

Tech support: OK, sir. Do you have a desktop or tower case?

Customer: Don’t use that technical s*** with me!

--actual call to a computer tech-support line

ON HAIR STYLIST ADS, NOT ALLURING

NEWBURY STREET COIFFURE.
AFFORDABLE.
AN ALTERNATIVE TO
LOOKING GOOD.

--ad for a Massachusetts hair salon

ON CLICHÉS, PAINFUL
"Everybody is putting their hands to the grindstone."

--Ken Allen, Australian consul general in New York

ON ACTRESSES, DANGEROUS

How to protect your neighborhood against crime and Jennifer Beals, star of The Bride. Live at five.

--from a tease on CBS-TV, New York

ON THAT’S WHY QUOTATION BOOKS ARE SO VITALLY IMPORTANT
"Heartworm is an infectious, life-threatening cardiovascular disease spread by misquotes.

--in a medical article