CHRISTMAS CAROLS FOR THE DYSFUNCTIONAL*

Schizophrenia: Do you hear what I hear?


Multiple Personality Disorder: We Three Queens Disoriented Are


Amnesia: I Don't Know If I'll Be Home For Christmas


Narcissistic: Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me


Manic: Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and....


Paranoid: Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me


Borderline Personality Disorder: Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire


Personality Disorder: You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why


Obsessive Compulsive Disorder: Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells


Agoraphobia: I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day, But Wouldn't Leave My House


Autistic: Jingle Bell Rock and Rock and Rock and Rock and Rock


Senile Dementia: Walking in a Winter Wonderland Miles From My House in My Slippers and Robe


Oppositional Defiant Disorder: I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Burned Down the House


Social Anxiety Disorder: Have Yourself and Merry Little Christmas While I Sit Here and Hyperventilate

*No insult intended for any people with mental problems (I am one!)