Wife from Hell

A police officer pulls over a speeding car....The officer says, ' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.' The driver, John, says, 'Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.'

Not looking up from her knitting , John's wife Phyllis says, 'Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.'

As the officer writes out the ticket, John looks over at Phyllis and growls, 'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?'

Phyllis smiles demurely and says, 'You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did.'

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, John glowers at Phyllis and says through clenched teeth, 'Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?'

The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine.' John says, 'Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.'

Phyllis says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.'

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket John turns to his wife and barks, 'WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??'

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?'


I love this part....



'Only when he's been drinking.'