The World's Seven Best Limericks

There was a young lady named Bright

Whose speed was much faster than light.

She went out one day

In a relative way

And came back on the previous night.



There was a young fellow of Crete

Who was so exceedingly neat,

When he got out of bed

He stood on his head

To make sure of not soiling his feet.



There was a young lady of Niger

Who smiled as she rode on a tiger.

They returned from the ride

With the lady inside

And the smile on the face of the tiger.



The bottle of perfume that Willie sent

Was highly displeasing to Millicent.

Her thanks were so cold

That they quarreled, I'm told,

‘Bout that silly scent Willie sent Millicent.



A flea and a fly in a flue

Were imprisoned so what could they do?

Said the fly, “Let us flee,”

Said the flea, “Let us fly,”

So they flew through a flaw in the flue.



A certain young man named Bill Beebee

Was in love with a lady named Phoebe

“But,” he said, “we must see

What the clerical fee be

Before Phoebe be Phoebe Beebee.”



There once was a maid from Japan

Whose limericks never would scan.

When they questioned her why,

She replied, “Because I

Like to squeeze as many syllables into the concluding line of the limerick as I possibly can.”