Here's my new living will template. Feel free to pass it on:

I, (name)_________________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.

Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of nitwit politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it or lawyers/doctors interested in simply running up the bills.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

______a Glass of Wine,

______a Margarita,

______a Cold Beer,

______anything Chocolate,

______a pork chop

______shrimp, lobster, crab legs or fish

______the remote control

______a bowl of ice cream

______a hot dog, hamburger or bologna sandwich

______Sex

______a pair of new flip-flops

It should be presumed that I won't ever get better.

When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day. At this point it is time to call the New Orleans Jazz Funeral Band to come do their thing at my funeral, and ask all of my friends to raise their glasses to toast the good times we have had.

Signature: ____________________________

Date: _____________________ 2006

I also hear that in Ireland they have a Nursing Home with a Pub. The patients are happier and they have a lot more visitors. (Sounds like my kind of Nursing Home)