Redneck Definitions for Medical Terms

Artery
-The study of paintings


Bacteria
-Back door to cafeteria


Barium
-What doctors do when patients die


Benign
-What you be, after you be eight


Caesarean Section
-A neighborhood in Rome


Cat scan
-Searching for Kitty


Cauterize
-Made eye contact with her


Colic
-A sheep dog


Coma
-A punctuation mark


Dilate
-To live long


Enema
-Not a friend

Fester
-Quicker than someone else


Fibula
-A small lie


Impotent
-Distinguished, well known


Labor Pain
-Getting hurt at work


Medical Staff
-A Doctor's cane


Morbid
-A higher offer


Nitrates
-Rates of Pay for Working at Night, Normally more money than Days


Node
-I knew it


Outpatient
-A person who has fainted


Pelvis
-Second cousin to Elvis


Post Operative
-A letter carrier


Recovery Room
-Place to do upholstery


Rectum
-Nearly killed him


Secretion
-Hiding something


Seizure
-Roman Emperor


Tablet
-A small table


Terminal Illness
-Getting sick at the airport


Tumor
-One plus one more


Urine
-Opposite of you're out