Stupid Is As Stupid Says...

ON DEFENSES AGAINST SONG PLAGIARISM, ELOQUENT
Theirs goes, “Ding ding ding dingy ding-ding.” Ours goes, “Ding ding ding ding dingy ding-ding.”

--rapper Vanilla Ice

ON FRUGALITY,
PROFLIGATE
I always lived very frugally. I flew around on a private jet. I had a boat. But I always lived very frugally.

--billionaire financier and alleged Ponzi scheme operator Allen Stanford

ON FORECASTING,
NOT SO PRECISE
Winds are in excess of anywhere between fifty and seventy miles an hour, if not more!

--CNN newscaster, broadcasting from inside Hurricane Frances

ON TOURISTS, KNOWLEDGEABLE
Tourist at the Tower of London: What is this wall here?

Yeoman warder: It was part of the Great Hall of Henry III.

Tourist: What happened to him?

Yeoman warder: He died.

Tourist: Gee, I’m sorry. I heard about Princess Diana but I didn’t know the king had also died.

--actual conversation at the Tower of London

ON RESTAURANT NAMES, REALLY CRAPPY
• Crapitto’s—Houston, Texas

• ButtyBoys—London, England

• The Chocolate Log—India