Stupid Is As Stupid Says...

ON NO REAL
VEGETARIANS NEED APPLY
Seeking quiet professional pseudo vegetarian to share custom Sunset area home.

--classified ad, Driftwood, California, newspaper

ON WHY SO MANY DOGS WERE MILLING AROUND
IN THE PARKING LOT
TRY OUR NEW ANUS BURGER

McDonald’s promotional marquee, Kalamazoo, Michigan

ON MAYBE YOU SHOULD TAKE ANOTHER WILD GUESS

Game show host Paul Wappat: How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel last?

Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.

during a game show segment on BBC radio Newcastle (UK)

ON DESCRIPTIONS, FISHY
He plucked the ball out of the air like a salmon.

sportscaster Ray French

ON THE EDUCATED VOTER
Talk show host Steve Allen (doing man-on-the-street interviews): If a person, seriously now, running for the presidency of the United States revealed that he was an admitted heterosexual, in all honesty, could you vote for him or her?

Woman on the street: No, no WAY!