Appearances Can Be Deceiving
One day a nun was standing on the side of the road waiting for a cab. A cab stopped and picked her up. During the ride she noticed that the driver was staring at her.
When she asked him why, he said, I want to ask you something, but I dont want to offend you.
She said, You cant offend me. I have been a nun long enough that I have heard just about everything.
The cab driver then said, Well, Ive always had a fantasy to have a nun give me a blow job.
She said, Well, perhaps we can work something out under two conditions. You have to be single, and you have to be Catholic.
Immediately the cab driver said, Oh, yes! Im single and Im Catholic!
The nun said, Okay, pull into that alley.
The cab driver pulled into the alley and the nun went to work. Shortly afterwards,the cab driver started crying.
The nun said, My child, whats the matter?
He said tearfully, Sister, I have sinned. I lied, I liedIm married and Im Jewish!
The nun replied, Thats okay. My names Bruce and Im on my way to a costume party!
Couple in Heaven
There were these two friends, one who was gay, who died in a horrible car accident. They both went to heaven and were standing at the pearly gates when St. Peter met them.
St. Peter asked the first man for a picture of his wife. After looking at the picture, St. Peter asked him if he had ever cheated on her.
The man replied, I was unfaithful to my wife one time.
St. Peter decided to give the man a station-wagon for him to drive around heaven.
Now it was the second mans turn.
St. Peter asked him for a picture of his wife and then asked if he had ever cheated on her.
The man replied, Actually Im gay, but heres a picture of my lover, and I never cheated on him.
St. Peter was very impressed and decided to give the man a Ferrari to drive around heaven.
After a few months in heaven, the two friends met up with each other. The second man was bragging about his Ferrari when the other turned to him and said, I wouldnt be bragging if I were you. I just saw your lover on a skateboard.
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