Is It Ever Okay to Make a Gay Joke?

America is having a gay moment.

From, "It Gets Better," Dan Savage's video campaign directed at gay teens in the wake of Tyler Clementi's suicide, to the ‘round-the-clock news about a California federal judge's decision to halt the enforcement of Don't Ask, Don't Tell in the military, to Justin Bieber's alleged gay taunting when playing laser tag, America is in the midst of a gay awakening of sorts.

(And that's gay, as in homosexual. Not gay, as in lame. Or gay, as in dorky.)

The flurry of gay-related news has extended to a trailer for a movie that's apparently bad enough that it's being released in the middle of January, when no one cares. The Dilemma, the Ron Howard flick starring everyone's favorite puffy-faced sex symbol Vince Vaughn, has spawned a debate about the word “gay,” and its usage in a joke.

The joke itself, since eliminated from the trailer, is pretty hapless: “Electric cars are gay. I mean not 'homosexual' gay, but 'my parents are chaperoning the dance' gay,” says Vaughn’s character. But spurred by Anderson Cooper’s appearance on Ellen a few weeks ago in which the news anchor criticized the joke, there has been a furious debate that still thrives—Sir Elton John weighed in this week to Us Weekly, siding with Cooper.

At the same time that Americans were asked to don purple to show solidarity with gay causes, and when President Obama and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton have released their own version of “It Gets Better” videos, the use of the word “gay” in a joke is getting even further scrutiny. It’s a good sign that Americans have moved beyond the simplistic fascination with sexuality. Is so-and-so coming out? has turned into, who cares? Instead, we’re having a more nuanced debate about language and its intent and power.

The question remains: When the public is talking about kids killing themselves because of their homosexuality, is it OK to make a gay joke? Was it ever OK to say, "that's so gay"?


It turns out that the Gay, Lesbian Straight Education Network was ahead of the curve when it released its ad campaign Think Before You Speak, in 2008, which featured a clip starring out-gay comic Wanda Sykes chiding a group of teenagers for using the term, “That’s so gay.”

The campaign received some notice; but in the wake of gay teen suicide awareness, the issue has touched an even more sensitive nerve.

Savage, the originator of “It Gets Better,” and the sex columnist behind Savage Love (a column that was originally called “Hey, Faggot!”) thinks that the joke is permissible, to a point.

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