The Love Doctor

Dear Love Doctor,

I will come right out and say it. I think I'm gay. The reason I think I'm gay is that there is this guy that I know at school and when he's around or looks at me, my throat gets all tight and I feel light-headed... almost like I'm going to upchuck. I don't get this feeling when I look at any of the girls. Does this for sure make me gay?


Signed,

High School Boy

Dear High School,

Well it may be so. But not necessarily. I am sorry to tell you this, but you may be experiencing your first crush on a member of the same sex. Just because you have a crush on a boy doesn't necessarily make you gay. Many boys and in fact men often have sexual fantasies about being with a member of their own sex, sexually. Some act on the desire, some don't. You don't say your age, but I would assume you to be 15 to 17. My advice to you, and you MUST be careful, is to see if this boy is also attracted to you. Tread carefully, especially if you don't have a anti-bullying rule at your school. Ask him to see a movie with you, get to know him and maybe he feels the way you do. Don't be disappointed if he doesn't, he may be all into girls. The other thing I want to mention is that you really may be doing what the experts call experimenting - again, neither indicative of your gayness, but rather healthy curiosity. You could always speak to the guidance counselor as many of them are now trained in dealing with homosexuality in the school place.

Hope this helps and happy experimenting!

Yrs,

The Love Doctor

--Send your questions about love to "The Love Doctor" directly from 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow! I have added an email link that goes direct to The Love Doctor - this will enable quicker responses from him. You can do this by clicking on his picture in the sidebar and put your question in the email. This will ensure that The Love Doctor gets your question. The Love Doctor forwards his replies to me for posting consideration. Note: Due to the high volume of letters that The Love Doctor receives, not all letters will be posted on 'OZ' - but the Love Doctor will reply to every email. (so he says)