Bond. James Bond.

A rather confident 007 strolled into a bar and took a seat next to a stunningly attractive woman.

He gave her a quick glance, then casually looked at his watch for a moment.

Noticing his actions, the woman next to him asked, "Is your date running late?" "No," he replied, "Q's just given me this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it."

Intrigued by his words the woman replied, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"

"Well you see," said Bond, "it uses Alpha waves to telepathically talk to me."

"I see," said the woman, "and what's it telling you now?"

"It says you're not wearing any knickers..." came the reply. The woman giggled and replied, "Well it must be broken because I'm afraid I'm wearing knickers!"

007 tutted, tapped his watch and said, "Damn thing must be an hour fast!"