G-175 Nations Convene To Discuss How Things Can't Possibly Be Any Worse

HARARE, ZIMBABWE—In a hotel ballroom eight miles outside Zimbabwe's capital city, representatives from the world's 175 least powerful nations met this week to discuss how everything—from political unrest, to insurmountable debt, to bloody social strife—can't get any worse.

The annual summit, held in a different embattled and deeply troubled country each year, is aimed at addressing a wide range of issues currently facing the world's most helpless leaders. According to organizers, this year's G-175 will focus primarily on the challenges of global inequality, most notably how much of it there is, and how almost nothing can be done about it.

"We have gathered here this evening to address the utter hopelessness we all face," said Bangladeshi prime minister Sheikh Hasina, who presided over the four-day conference. "Whether stricken by crippling inflation, devastating war, or horrific spells of famine, it is time for us to come together as one and agree that pretty much everything is in the toilet."

Added Hasina, "Now then, all those in favor of sighing loudly and looking around in desperation for some kind of answer, please say aye."

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*The Onion