The Love Doctor

Dear Love Doctor,

I’m in love with my sister’s girlfriend. Yes they are gay. I’m not. I’m a healthy, well-adjusted boy. I know that Marge does not like boys. She likes my sister more than anyone else. But the other day I winked at Marge and she winked back. I signaled her to meet me out in the barn. She did. Now she likes boys too. What should I do? I’m afraid that she will tell my sister on me.

Signed,

Farmed Out

Dear Farmed,

I should tell you to be frank with your sister. Tell her about your feelings for Marge. Since she is your loving sister, she will understand and let Marge go... BUT.... It would be not good to "IN" Marge to your sister. Gay people will think that she should have stayed Out of the closet! She will think that soon Marge will be participating in Straight PRIDE Parades and start having sex with alot of straight people. You know.. That straight 'thingy' is infective! Next thing she will think that Marge wants to have an opposite sex wedding! And in a Catholic Church - no less! And also, if you "IN" Marge, you may well be exposing her to not being accepted by the gay community! We can't have that! All hell would break loose--- all those children, being raised by broken marriages! Tell Marge to keep her big mouth shut!

The Love Doctor