TRUISMS & THOUGHTS FOR TODAY ......

-SAVE THE WHALES. COLLECT THE WHOLE SET.

-A DAY WITHOUT SUNSHINE IS LIKE, NIGHT.

-ON THE OTHER HAND, YOU HAVE DIFFERENT FINGERS.

-I JUST GOT LOST IN THOUGHT. IT WASN'T FAMILIAR TERRITORY.

-42.7 PERCENT OF ALL STATISTICS ARE MADE UP ON THE SPOT.

-99 PERCENT OF LAWYERS GIVE THE REST A BAD NAME.

-I FEEL LIKE I'M DIAGONALLY PARKED IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE.

-HONK IF YOU LOVE PEACE AND QUIET.

-REMEMBER, HALF THE PEOPLE YOU KNOW ARE BELOW AVERAGE.

-HE WHO LAUGHS LAST, THINKS SLOWEST.

-DEPRESSION IS MERELY ANGER WITHOUT ENTHUSIASM.

-THE EARLY BIRD MAY GET THE WORM, BUT THE SECOND MOUSE GETS THE CHEESE.

-I DRIVE WAY TOO FAST TO WORRY ABOUT CHOLESTEROL.

-SUPPORT BACTERIA. THEY'RE THE ONLY CULTURE SOME PEOPLE HAVE.

-MONDAY IS AN AWFUL WAY TO SPEND 1/7 OF YOUR WEEK.

-A CLEAR CONSCIENCE IS USUALLY THE SIGN OF A BAD MEMORY.

-CHANGE IS INEVITABLE, EXCEPT FROM VENDING MACHINES.

-GET A NEW CAR FOR YOUR SPOUSE. IT'LL BE A GREAT TRADE!

-PLAN TO BE SPONTANEOUS TOMORROW.

-ALWAYS TRY TO BE MODEST, AND BE PROUD OF IT!

-IF YOU THINK NOBODY CARES, TRY MISSING A COUPLE OF PAYMENTS.

-HOW MANY OF YOU BELIEVE IN PSYCHO-KINESIS? RAISE MY HAND.

-OK, SO WHAT'S THE SPEED OF DARK?

-HOW DO YOU TELL WHEN YOU'RE OUT OF INVISIBLE INK?

-IF EVERYTHING SEEMS TO BE GOING WELL, YOU HAVE OBVIOUSLY OVERLOOKED SOMETHING.

-WHEN EVERYTHING IS COMING YOUR WAY, YOU'RE IN THE WRONG LANE.

-HARD WORK PAYS OFF IN THE FUTURE. LAZINESS PAYS OFF NOW.

-EVERYONE HAS A PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY. SOME JUST DO NOT HAVE FILM.

-IF BARBIE IS SO POPULAR, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BUY HER FRIENDS?

-HOW MUCH DEEPER WOULD THE OCEAN BE WITHOUT SPONGES?

-EAGLES MAY SOAR, BUT WEASELS DO NOT GET SUCKED INTO JET ENGINES.

-WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU GET SCARED HALF TO DEATH TWICE?

-I USED TO HAVE AN OPEN MIND BUT MY BRAINS KEPT FALLING OUT.

-I COULDN'T REPAIR YOUR BRAKES,SO I MADE YOUR HORN LOUDER.

-WHY DO PSYCHICS HAVE TO ASK YOU FOR YOUR NAME?

-INSIDE EVERY OLDER PERSON IS A YOUNGER PERSON WONDERING WHAT HAPPENED.

-JUST REMEMBER - IF THE WORLD DID NOT SUCK, WE WOULD ALL FALL OFF.

-LIGHT TRAVELS FASTER THAN SOUND, WHICH IS WHY SOME PEOPLE APPEAR BRIGHT UNTIL YOU HEAR THEM SPEAK.