Laws we live by

1.Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.



2. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.



3. Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.



4. Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.



5. Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.



6. Variation Law: If you change traffic lanes, the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time)



7. Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.



8. Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.



9. Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.



10. Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.



11. Sporting Event Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last and during the most critical time in the game.



12. Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.



13. Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.



14. Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness, colour and cost of the carpet/rug.



15. Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.



16. Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.



17.Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

*Thanks, Allen