The Safest Place in Canada

Think about it, have you ever heard of one of these being robbed?

Tim Horton's Coppee Shop
*Thanks, Auntie `M`

Makes ya wonder...

.... If someone with multiple personalities threatens to commit suicide, is that considered a hostage crisis?

Things That Will Never Be The Same After Brokeback Mountain...

Click on the image for a larger view.

*Thanks, Bill

This is really weird

Try the following:

How Smart Is Your Right Foot?

This is so funny that it will boggle your mind. And, you will keep trying it at least 50 more times to see if you can out-smart your foot. But you can't!!

1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles with it.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.. Your foot will change direction!!!

I told you so.. And there is nothing you can do about it.

*Thanks, Auntie 'M'

O-M-G!

*Thanks, Bill!

A body builder and blonde

A body builder takes off his shirt and the blonde says, "What a great chest you have." He tells her, "That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, baby." He takes off his pants and the blonde says, "What massive calves you have." The bodybuilder tells her, "That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, baby." He then removes his underwear and the blonde goes running out of the apartment screaming in fear. The body builder puts his clothes back on and chases after her. He catches up to her and asks why she ran out of the apartment like that. The blonde replies, "I was afraid to be around all that dynamite when I saw how short the fuse was."

*Thanks, Daryn

Some of my answers.....

Click on the picture for a larger image









*Thanks, Andy

RAGE - The Gay Crusader

Click on the picture to read all about it!

Either use your 'Back' button to return to 'OZ' or click on the links at the bottom of the pages.

Well...GOSH!

DID YOU KNOW? Mickey Mouse is called "Musse Pigg" in Sweden, while Huey, Dewey, and Louie are known as "Knatte, Fnatte, och Tjatte!"

The Wiz On The Street

Prince Harry, the son of Prince Charles and Lady Diana, third in line to the throne of England, is being deployed to Iraq. So the Wizard hit the streets again, asking, "What do you think?"

Arthur Locke,
Brewer
"Queen Elizabeth did well as a machine-gunner during World War II, so I wouldn't expect any less of her grandson."

Mary Sawyer,
Systems Analyst
"Man, Iraqi phone lines are going to be inundated with prank callers asking if they have Prince Harry in a tank."

Chuck Hurley,
Hair Stylist
"Great. Another kid with maternal-abandonment issues and a gun."

*American Voices, The Onion

Oscars: Departed Best Picture, Mirren & Whitaker Best Actors, Etheridge Best Song

(Hollywood, California) Mob epic "The Departed" won the Academy Award for best picture Sunday. It's director, Martin Scorsese was named best director. It was his first win after five previous losses.

Helen Mirren won the best actress Academy Award Sunday night for her role in "The Queen."

Forest Whitaker took the best-actor Academy Award for "The Last King of Scotland," playing Ugandan dictator Idi Amin.

Jennifer Hudson won the supporting-actress Academy Award for "Dreamgirls," her first film role.

Her costar, Eddie Murphy, lost the supporting-actor prize to Alan Arkin of "Little Miss Sunshine."

"An Inconvenient Truth," a chronicle of Al Gore's campaign to warn the world about global warming, was picked as best documentary.

Melissa Etheridge won the Oscar for best-song for the anthem "I Need to Wake Up" from the film.

"First I want to thank my wife Tammy," the lesbian singer said, referring to her spouse Tammy Lynn Michaels.

Ethridge beat out three songs featured in "Dreamgirls" and one from the movie "Cars."

Composer Gustavo Santaolalla won his second straight Oscar for original score for "Babel." He won the same prize a year ago for "Brokeback Mountain."

"Little Miss Sunshine," which leapt from low-budget indie to become a commercial hit won the original screenplay Oscar for first-time screenwriter Michael Arndt.

Ellen DeGeneres served as a noble ringleader for the ceremonies. Her opening monologue was as distinctly low key as her pant suit. DeGeneres noted the broad scope - internationally, racially and sexually - of this year's nominees.

"Such diversity in the room in a year where there's been so many negative things said about people's race, religion and sexual orientation," said DeGeneres.

"And I want to put this out there: If there weren't blacks, Jews or gays, there would be no Oscars.

"Or anyone named Oscar, when you think about that," she said.

*365Gay.com

From The Emerald City

The Wizard wants YOU! I need new material for 'OZ' and I am looking for my readers input! You too can be published on 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow!

Send your jokes, stories, cartoons etc to me by filling in the form to Contact The Wizard. I always provide credit unless told otherwise. Due to the volume of submissions, material may not be published the day they are submitted and due to constraints of Blogger, The Wizard reserves the right to edit submitted material, change picture sizes etc, while maintaining the quality of the submitted material. For non-original materials, please quote the source of the material.


Yours,

--The Wizard

Hats of Meat

Exactly like it sounds....

Museum of Food Anomalies

See what's lurking in YOUR Honeycombs and more!


*MOFA

Monkey Cloning

Did you hear about the disaster at a major Canadian University? A team of scientists were cloning monkeys and one of them blew up. The researchers are now trying to determine what went wrong by sifting through the Rhesus' pieces.

TRUE or FALSE

A Golgi body is a greenish cluster of stars.

Along with mitochondria, endoplasmic reticulum, vesicles, and the nucleus, a Golgi body is part of a cell. The Golgi body is responsible for modifying and shipping proteins and lipids for the cell to either use or discharge. Also called the Golgi apparatus, it is named after Camillo Golgi, an Italian cytologist (scientist who studies cells) who won the 1906 Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine.

Nice Gogli on your t-shirt!

Stupid Is As Stupid Says...

 ON MAKING THINGS EXCESSIVELY CLEAR "We’ve said it previously and we’ve said it before."

 

--soccer coach Colin Hendry

The Three Little Pigs

Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night. The waiter came and took their drink order.

"I would like a Sprite," said the first little piggy.

"I would like a Coke," said the second little piggy.

"I want beer, lots and lots of beer," said the third little piggy.

The drinks were brought out and the waiter took their orders for dinner.

"I want a nice big steak," said the first piggy.

"I would like the salad plate," said the second piggy.

"I want beer, lots and lots of beer," said the third little piggy.

The meals were brought out and a while later the waiter approached the table and asked if the piggies would like any dessert.

"I want a banana split," said the first piggy.

"I want a cheesecake," said the second piggy.

"I want beer, lots and lots of beer," exclaimed the third little piggy.

"Pardon me for asking," said the waiter to the third little piggy,"

But why have you only ordered beer all evening?"

The third piggy says -



"Well, somebody has to go wee, wee, all the way home!

Kinderen voor Kinderen song - Two Fathers

Can You See it?

There is a hidden picture inside the picture below. It can be seen in 3D without 3D glasses! Take a hard look and see if you can find the 'hidden spring'...

*Magic Eye

The Wiz On The Street

XM Satellite Radio Holdings Inc. and Sirius Satellite Radio announced a plan to merge the two companies. So the Wizard hit the streets again, asking, "What do you think?"

Kendra Peters,
Furnace Repairperson
"Cool. I didn't think I was paying enough for my service before."

Krzysch,
Systems Analyst
"I'm just worried that Sirius' Top 40 station will be dropped in favor of XM's vastly inferior Top 40."

Josh Bernstein,
Piano Tuner
"Until there's a satellite channel dedicated to a lonely statistician in Tacoma talking about his figurine collection, I'm sticking with ham radio."

*American Voices, The Onion

TRUE or FALSE

Mount Kilimanjaro is an extinct volcano.




Mount Kilimanjaro, Africa’s highest mountain, is an active volcano. It’s a stratovolcano, which means it’s made up of lava and volcanic ash. Other stratovolcanos include Mount St. Helens, Mount Vesuvius, and Mount Fuji.

Stupid Is As Stupid Says...

 

ON THAT’S USUALLY HOW IT GOES  "So the first thing that you heard was the one that you overheard with Mr. Jones stating that he didn’t want any women in his department. And the second time when you were in this exact conversation would have been after the first time?"

 --recorded in court testimony

Joke of the Day

Click Above.

Times When You Just Have To Trust The Pilot.....

1. Tioman Island, Off the coast of Malaysia


2. Wake Island, Pacific Ocean


3. Macao Intl Airport


4. Kuujjuaraapik, Quebec


5. A rock, off the coast of Greenwood (Canadian Military Labrador Helicopter)


*Thanks, Auntie 'M'

First Date

If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!! We have all had bad dates, but this takes the cake.

Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had.

The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!

She said it was midwinter... Snowing and quite cold...and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah.

It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met before.

The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon.

They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte.

They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere!

Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while.

Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car. They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself.

Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation. Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation.

As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender.

Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold.

Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about "what is taking so long" with a reply that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off and in need of some assistance!"

He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing.

She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma.

Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal!

Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free.

So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender. As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down... Or perhaps that should be "pants down." And youthought your first date was embarrassing.

Jay Leno's comment .. "This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off.

*Thanks, Auntie 'M'

Feeling unappreciated at work?

*Thanks, Daryn

Stupid Is As Stupid Says...

  ON BUSINESSES THAT APPARENTLY DON’T RESPECT THEIR EMPLOYEES "NOW HIRING TWO FRENCH DIPS FOR TWO DOLLARS"

 

--sign at an Arby’s in North Bend, Washington

The 411 - Grey Owl

Grey Owl (in Ojibwe: Wa-sha-quon-asin) was the name Archibald Belaney (September 18, 1888 – April 13, 1938) adopted when he took upon a First Nations identity as an adult. He was a writer and became one of Canada's first conservationists.
Archibald Stansfeld Belaney was born in September 1888 in Hastings, England, to a farmer family. His father wasted the family fortune in drinking. Some sources also suggest that his mother was only 13 years old when they were married. His parents separated in 1901, and his father left the country.

Belaney was raised by his grandmother and two maiden aunts. He expressed an interest in nature and American Indians at an early age. He went to Hastings Grammar School, and at the age of 16 – due to his aunts' urging – left to work for a timber yard. He was fired when he dropped a bomb down his employer's chimney.

In 1906 Belaney emigrated to Canada, ostensibly to study agriculture. After a brief time in Toronto, he moved to Temagami, Northern Ontario, and adopted an Indian identity and the name Grey Owl. He also married an Anishinaabe woman, Angele Egwuna. He worked as a fur trapper, wilderness guide and forest ranger. He explained that he was a child of a Scottish father and Apache mother and had emigrated from the US to join the Ojibwa.

During World War I, in 1915, Grey Owl joined the 13th Montreal Battalion of the Black Watch. His unit was shipped to France, where he served as a sniper. His compatriots treated him as an Indian and generally praised his conduct afterwards. He was wounded first in January 1916 and then again on April 24, 1916 with a shot through the foot. The wound contracted gangrene, and he was shipped to England for treatment.

In 1925 he met the Iroquois woman Gertrude Bernard (whom he later called Anahareo), who encouraged him to stop trapping and publish his writings about wilderness life. His writings attracted the attention of the Dominion Parks Service, and he began to work for them as a naturalist. In 1931 he and Anahareo moved briefly to a cabin in Riding Mountain National Park with their two pet beavers, Jellyroll and Rawhide. Next year they moved to near Ajawaan Lake in Prince Albert National Park.

Grey Owl was moved from one British infirmary to another for a full year while doctors tried in vain to restore his foot. He also met and briefly married childhood friend Constance Holmes. The marriage failed. He was shipped back to Canada in September 1917 and honorably discharged on November 30 with a disability pension.

In his articles, books, and films he promoted the idea of environmentalism and nature conservation. In 1931, He wrote several articles for the Canadian Forestry Association (CFA) publication Forests and Outdoors:

King of the Beaver People, January 1931
A Day in a Hidden Town, April 1931
A Mess of Pottage, May 1931
The Perils of Woods Travel, September 1931
Indian Legends and Lore, October 1931
A Philosophy of the Wild, December 1931

In 1935 and 1937 he successfully toured England (including Hastings) in Ojibwa costume to promote his books and lecture about conservation. His aunts recognized him but remained silent until 1937. In his latter tour he also visited the court and met princesses Elizabeth and Margaret.

The tours fatigued him badly, and in 1938 he returned to Beaver Lodge, his cabin at Ajawaan Lake. Grey Owl died of pneumonia on April 13, 1938; he is buried near his cabin.

Doubts about his Amerindian identity began appearing after his death. The North Bay Nugget newspaper ran the first expose, followed up by international news organisations such as The Times. His publisher Lovat Dickson tried to prove Belaney's Indian identity, but his investigations only turned up the same evidence as the journalists. "Grey Owl" had been an invention, an invented Indian like Forrest Carter and Chief Buffalo Child Long Lance.

The consequences of this revelation were dramatic. Publication of the Grey Owl books ceased immediately, and in some cases they were withdrawn from publication. This in turn had a knock-on effect on the conservation causes with which Belaney had been associated, affecting donations to conservationist causes badly.

Numerous books about Grey Owl have been published, including:

Half-Breed: The Story of Grey Owl by Lovat Dickson (1939)
My Life with Grey Owl by Anahareo (1940)
Devil in Deerskins: My Life with Grey Owl by Anahareo (1972) published in the UK as Grey Owl and I: A New Autobiography by Anahareo (1972)
Wilderness Man: The Strange Story of Grey Owl by Lovat Dickson (1974)
From the Land of Shadows: the Making of Grey Owl by Donald B. Smith (1990) 

In 1999, the film Grey Owl premiered, directed by Richard Attenborough and starring Pierce Brosnan in the title role. The film received mixed reviews and received no theatrical release in the United States. Attenborough had seen Grey Owl at the London Palladium theatre as a teenager along with his brother, the naturalist David Attenborough. On a Michael Parkinson chat show in 1999, Richard Attenborough mentioned that they were both very affected by seeing Grey Owl, perhaps influencing their future career paths.

On the 100th anniversary of his birth, a Canadian Red Maple tree was planted in his honor in the grounds of Hastings Grammar School, now renamed William Parker School. In June 1997, the mayor of Hastings and the borough's Member of Parliament (Michael Foster), unveiled a plaque in his honor on the house at 32 St James Road where he was born. There is also a commemorative plaque to Grey Owl by the ranger station at Hastings Country Park, 4 miles to the east of Hastings, and a full-size replica of his Canadian lakeside cabin in Hastings Museum at Summerfields, along with an exhibition of memorabilia.

In 2004, Deejay Ra launched a 'Grey Owl' Birthday Recognition Campaign incorporating Grey Owl titles into his 'Hip-Hop Literacy' project and campaigning on Canadian community TV for September 18th birthday recognition on the country's calendars for the first author to teach Native rights at Harvard University. In 2005, the birthday recognition campaign led to Key Porter Books re-publishing Grey Owl's "Tales From An Empty Cabin" classic and inspired a BookTV special that featured Deejay Ra and Lord Attenborough discussing Grey Owl's legacy.

Grey Owl also is frequently discussed and praised in the book, "Sense of Adventure: An Account of a Journey in the Canadian Wilderness." In that book, the author, Adam Shoalts, refers to Grey Owl as his hero and praises him as a wilderness sage.

*From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia