The Love Doctor

Dear Love Doctor,

My clothes smell like an ashtray. My hair stinks. My bedding reeks. And, I don't smoke!

How on earth do I get my boyfriend to quit? He's not only ruining his health, he's endangering mine.

He's a great guy, but the smoking is turning me off and driving me away. I really don't know how much longer I can take it. When he comes over he lights up as soon as he walks in the door, and doesn't stop until he leaves. The only break I get is when we have sex, and the tobacco odor leaves me limp.

I've been after him but he says I'm hounding him, but it's for his own good. He says he's tried quitting but can't Isn't there something that will work?

Signed,

2Packs 2ndHand

Dear 2ndHand,

I'm sure the smoke is driving you nuts. And, I'll take his word for it that he has tried to quit. The trouble is smoking is an addiction no different from alcoholism or gambling.

It needs to be treated like an addiction not some little character flaw, and certainly not with fads like dieting.

Having known a heavy smoker for a very long time, I can tell you firsthand how hard it is to quit no matter how genuine you are about wanting to.

I can also tell you there is no foolproof method. Most researchers will tell you the most effective way is to stop cold turkey. They have probably never been smokers themselves.

What worked for him may not work for anyone else, but he went to a shrink. It took a year to get to the root of the problem and another year to successfully get off the weed.

He hasn't had a cigarette in more than a decade.

There are a number of crutches to help ease the anxiety of quitting...gum...the patch etc. But, these are only crutches.

I wish I had a simple answer for you, but I don't. If I did, I'm sure I could package it and make as much money as the tobacco industry does in pushing coffin nails.

The Love Doctor

--Send your questions about love to "The Love Doctor" directly from 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow! I have added an email link that goes direct to The Love Doctor - this will enable quicker responses from him. You can do this by clicking on his picture in the sidebar and put your question in the email. This will ensure that The Love Doctor gets your question. The Love Doctor forwards his replies to me for posting consideration. Note: Due to the high volume of letters that The Love Doctor receives, not all letters will be posted on 'OZ' - but the Love Doctor will reply to every email. (so he says)