Geography

GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN Between 18 and 20 a woman is like AFRICA, half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile deltas. Between 21 and 30 a woman is like AMERICA, well developed and open to trade especially for someone with cash. Between 31 and 35 she is like INDIA, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty. Between 36 and 40 a woman is like FRANCE. Gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit. Between 41 and 50 she is like YUGOSLAVIA, lost the war - haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary. Between 51 and 60, she is like RUSSIA, very wide and borders are un-patrolled. The frigid climate keeps people away. Between 61 and 70, a woman is like MONGOLIA, with a glorious and all conquering past but alas, no future. After 70, they become AFGHANISTAN. Almost everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.  

THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN Between 15 and 70 a man is like SUDAN - ruled by a dick.** **Omar al-Bashir - Since February 2003, Bashir’s campaign of ethnic and religious persecution has killed at least 180,000 civilians in Darfur in western Sudan and driven 2 million people from their homes. The good news is that Bashir’s army and the Janjaweed militia that he supports have all but stopped burning down villages in Darfur. The bad news is why they’ve stopped: There are few villages left to burn. The attacks now are aimed at refugee camps. While the media have called these actions “a humanitarian tragedy,” Bashir himself has escaped major condemnation. In 2005, Bashir signed a peace agreement with the largest rebel group in non-Islamic southern Sudan and allowed its leader, John Garang, to become the nation’s vice president. But Garang died in July in a helicopter crash, and Bashir’s troops still occupy the south.

*Thanks, Andy