The Black Hole

Guess The Beatles Songs

To help prevent the spread of COVID-19, we must all follow five:

Wash your hands with and frequently

When coughing or sneezing, cover your mouth and nose with elbow crease

 Don't touch your face

Keep 1 + meter away from others

If you can stay home!

A MEETING ON THE ROAD

By Gail Fulkerson

He never did anything without a beer in his hand. His fridge was always stocked with cans of Bud Light, chilled to the perfect drinking temperature. While many people start their mornings with coffee, Richard would crack open a cold one to get the sleep out of his eyes and the cobwebs out of his head.

The beer had run out last night. He’d been hitting it hard since he got home from work, and was shit-faced by 8 pm. He stood up from the couch, where he’d been sat watching TV, and wobbled to the kitchen to grab another cold one out of the fridge. Finding none, he checked the second fridge in the garage: No beer. He staggered over to his quad to check the cooler he kept strapped to the back rack. That was empty as well.

He was about to jump on his quad and tear down to the corner store for more, but scrapped that idea when he realized the place would probably be closed by the time he got there. The last thing he needed was another ticket for drunk driving. The last one had cost him big bucks and his beloved quad was impounded until he could come up with the cash to get it back.

The town bar was still open, but Richard disliked going. The place was too noisy, most of the patrons were younger than he, and since he’d quit smoking, the strong smell of cigarette smoke, coupled with the stink of carpeting soaked with years of spilled beer, made him nauseous. However, in these here dire straits he now found himself, Richard would set aside his dislike and go to the bar for a dozen Bud Light and call it a night.

He was on his way home, beer stowed securely in the cooler behind his seat, when, rounding the curve in the road, he was blinded by the headlights of an oncoming vehicle, a pickup truck with its brights on.Richard swerved to avoid being hit. The other driver had swerved, too, and landed in the trees on Richard’s side of the road. Miraculously, Richard was able to steer the quad and come to a safe stop. As he braked, the quad’s front bumper just barely grazed a tree. He was shaken up but not injured. The other guy had gotten out of his truck and was heading towards the quad.

Richard had been looking for his insurance papers and driver’s license and only noticed the man when he was almost upon him. He did a double-take when he saw the man’s face. It was ashen, a sickly grey, sunken hollow cheeks, black-rimmed eye sockets and a gash over one of his brows. The blood ran freely from the fresh wound, staining his face and shirt a dark red.

A small movement on the man’s right side distracted Richard from wondering why he couldn’t see the man’s eyes. As horrifying as the thought was, that this man had no eyes, it wasn’t nearly as horrifying as the scores of maggots crawling from the wound in the man’s side. The truck’s shifter had pierced the man’s side between his hipbone and bottom-most rib. Revolting, deathly white grubs writhed out of the man’s body and onto the ground. The man did not seem to notice, so intent was he to get closer to Richard.

A guttural sound rose up from deep within the man’s throat. He lurched towards Richard, hands outstretched, groping, hoping to grab onto an arm, a sleeve, anything, to pull his prey to him. Richard had been back-stepping to keep out of this thing’s reach, so when he felt the quad at his back, he jumped on it and hightailed it home. (At least he would have, if he hadn’t turned off the engine.) Now, it was a race to see whether Richard could start the quad, back it out of the trees, and gun it, before the thing took him. He’d quit thinking that this monster was actually a man, when he looked into the black abyss of its long-empty eye sockets.

The night had passed. Sunshine was streaming through the trees, illuminating a terrible scene that had played out before sunrise. Steam was rising from the blood-spattered tree trunks and leaves. A large, dark stain marked the spot where a profuse amount of blood had seeped into the ground. Torn and bloody clothing was strewn all over the place. A piece of scalp, some teeth, and shattered bones, were all that remained of the night’s events.

The monster grinned and took a final swig of the last can of beer, belching as he beheld his surroundings with his new eyes.

How To Piss Off A Mom

This Is What Happens When You Get Struck by Lightning

By Charlotte Huff, mosaicscience.com

There’s a nine in 10 chance you’ll survive. But what are the lasting effects of being exposed to hundreds of millions of volts of electricity?

photo: SHUTTERSTOCK

“It looks like somebody threw a cannonball through it.”

Sometimes they’ll keep the clothing, the strips of shirt or trousers that weren’t cut away by the doctors and nurses. They’ll tell their story, sharing pictures and news reports of survivals like their own or bigger tragedies. Only by piecing together bystander reports can survivors of lightning strikes construct their own picture of the possible trajectory of the electrical current, one that can approach 200 million volts and travel at one-third of the speed of light.

--more at Readersdigest.com

Walk away...

The River

"I walked down by the river tonight. Decided to put my feet in. As I stood there the weight of the world began running down my face, sometimes life just gets too real. the disease took hold, I went a little deeper and stood there for a long time. And then God spoke to me, “don’t do it buddy!” “It’s not worth it!” He pointed out some of the beautiful things in this world. I looked up and saw him. He came to me as a big native guy and his girlfriend on the broadway bridge. “How do We get down there?” he shouted, I point to the path.

5 minutes later they came tumbling through the bush swearing at each other lol. He took his shoes off and stood in the water. He spoke of incarceration, addiction and failed suicide attempts. He spoke of funny things and unexpected coincidental love. He asked me what I was thinking about and I told him. He was impressed with my clean time and told me to hang in there, and then.....

they were gone.

I walked the streets for hours after that trying to make sense of what just happened. Passed by bars and thought about going in, walked on by. Frozen lemonade was my final choice and it tasted so good. What a mysterious experience this life is, I’m so grateful to be here. 1256 days clean!"

My response.

"It's incredible how fast life shifts and then shifts back. Sunday we had a nice coffee drive, you and I. We spoke of how good life is, the new found depth of love you have for your son, and how you've enjoyed having time off to be with him and yourself.

Shift

Then Monday you had this experience. You felt world weary, tired of living life on life's terms.

Then God showed up.

Shift

God truly does walk, talk, shake hands and offer hugs everywhere... If we keep our eyes and hearts open.Yours were wide open in that moment, now the secret is to keep them that way and watch all the whispers, little notes and taps on the shoulder he gives you and has been giving you the whole time.

I love you bro. I'm glad you listened when God spoke and recognised it for what it was....a little beautiful perfectly timed encouragement from the still soft voice of your soul in another man's voice."

25 of the Most Profound Things Abraham Lincoln Ever Said

by Michael Josephson 

1. Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.

2. Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.

3. Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?

4. I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live by the light that I have. I must stand with anybody that stands right, and stand with him while he is right, and part with him when he goes wrong.

5. You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.

6. [The] leading object [of government], to elevate the condition of men — to lift artificial weights from all shoulders — to clear the paths of laudable pursuit for all — to afford all, an unfettered start, and a fair chance, in the race of life.

7. I desire so to conduct the affairs of this administration that if at the end I have lost every other friend on earth, I shall at least have one friend left, and that friend shall be down inside of me.

8. If I were to try to read, much less answer, all the attacks made on me, this shop might as well be closed for any other business. I do the very best I know how – the very best I can; and I mean to keep doing so until the end. If the end brings me out all right, what’s said against me won’t amount to anything. If the end brings me out wrong, ten angels swearing I was right would make no difference.

9. A capacity, and taste, for reading, gives access to whatever has already been discovered by others. It is the key, or one of the keys, to the already solved problems. And it gives a relish, and facility, for successfully pursuing the [yet] unsolved ones.

10. I do the very best I know how – the very best I can; and I mean to keep on doing so until the end.

11. Stand with anybody that stands right, stand with him while he is right and part with him when he goes wrong.

12. The probability that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause we believe to be just.

13. Whatever you are, be a good one.

14. I am a success today because I had a friend who believed in me and I didn’t have the heart to let him down.

15. Beavers build houses; but they build them in nowise differently, or better now, than they did, five thousand years ago. Ants, and honey-bees, provide food for winter; but just in the same way they did, when Solomon referred the sluggard to them as patterns of prudence. Man is not the only animal who labors; but he is the only one who improves his workmanship.

16. I happen temporarily to occupy this big White House. I am living witness that any one of your children may look to come here as my father’s child has.

17. Every man is proud of what he does well; and no man is proud of what he does not do well. With the former, his heart is in his work; and he will do twice as much of it with less fatigue. The latter performs a little imperfectly, looks at it in disgust, turns from it, and imagines himself exceedingly tired.

18. Discourage litigation. Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can. Point out to them how the nominal winner is often a real loser – in fees, expenses, and waste of time. As a peacemaker the lawyer has a superior opportunity of being a good man. There will still be business enough.

19. No man has a good enough memory to make a successful liar.

20. I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crises. The great point is to bring them the real facts.

21. And by virtue of the power, and for the purpose aforesaid, I do order and declare that all persons held as slaves within said designated States, and parts of States, are, and henceforward shall be free; and that the Executive government of the United States, including the military and naval authorities thereof, will recognize and maintain the freedom of said persons.” — January 1, 1863 Emancipation Proclamation

22. Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. — November 19, 1863 Gettysburg Address

23. I have been shown in the files of the War Department a statement of the Adjutant General of Massachusetts, that you are the mother of five sons who have died gloriously on the field of battle. I feel how weak and fruitless must be any words of mine which should attempt to beguile you from the grief of a loss so overwhelming. But I cannot refrain from tendering to you the consolation that may be found in the thanks of the Republic they died to save. I pray that our Heavenly Father may assuage the anguish of your bereavement, and leave you only the cherished memory of the loved and lost, and the solemn pride that must be yours, to have laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of Freedom — Letter to Mrs. Lydia Bixby

24. With malice toward none; with charity for all; with firmness in the right, as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in; to bind up the nation’s wounds; to care for him who shall have borne the battle, and for his widow, and his orphan. — March 4, 1865 Inaugural Address

25. Let reverence for the laws, be breathed by every American mother, to the lisping babe, that prattles on her lap — let it be taught in schools, in seminaries, and in colleges; let it be written in Primers, spelling books, and in Almanacs; — let it be preached from the pulpit, proclaimed in legislative halls, and enforced in courts of justice. And, in short, let it become the political religion of the nation; and let the old and the young, the rich and the poor, the grave and the gay, of all sexes and tongues, and colors and conditions, sacrifice unceasingly upon its altars.

The Longest Joke in the World

Warning: this is the longest joke in the world. The Wizard of 'OZ' cannot be held responsible for the part of your precious life you spend reading this joke. Scrolling down implies agreement with this term and condition. Many have said the end was worth the time. Some have cried, wondering how to get their life back. Good luck.

Lost in the Desert

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Click here for a downloadable PDF.

100 Vintage Home Hacks That Are Still Brilliant Today

These tips and tricks for the home have been passed down from generation to generation, but do they still hold up today? You better believe it!

Gutter Cleaner

Clean your one-story-high gutters right from the ground using an old paint roller on an extension handle. It’s angled just right to push leaves and debris out quickly and easily. — Lee Sens

Click here for More at Reader's Digest

A Good Woman!

Irrefutable proof that a good woman can bring Balance and Stability to your life

The Littlest Blue Bin

What do you see here?

The "tired dog" rock formation in Alaska.

Can you see it?

Men's Room

Wise Words

Friendship Friendship is a wealth, so, it should be utilized properly. It needs a commitment. To keep it fresh and sustainable we have to take some responsibilities. If anybody considers friendship as an opportunity, it will die within a short time.

Live for today
Live today, for today only, as you cannot change yesterday or begin to understand tomorrow.

Love Is The One Gift
Love is the one gift that you can give again, again, and again.

Getting over the heartbreak
"Someday you will cry for me like I cried for you. Someday you will miss me like I missed you, you'll need me like I needed you and someday you'll love me but I wont love you."

Words of Knowledge
Remember, if two men agree on everything? Only one is doing the thinking!

Earning people!
More than technology, bringing out the potential in people is a great thing, investing in human beings is worth a lot. To earn people tantamount to earning money and wealth. Human beings cannot be compared with any other assets in respect of value and power.

Stupid Is As Stupid Says

ON BUT NOT OF SILVER TONGUE
I am a man of sound prejudice.

--Toronto mayor Allan Lamport

Stupid Is As Stupid Says...

ON MENU ITEMS, CREATIVE
• Hoodwinks the Boundary Gluttonous Mutton Chop

• The Wild Fungus Burns the Duck Feet

• The Vinegar Fries Fragrant Woodenly Must Meat

--menu items in China

Stupid Is As Stupid Says...

ON AIRLINE ANNOUNCEMENTS THAT SHOULD BE REPHRASED
• Toe-Shaped Chicken
• Recent Veal
• Bagel–Plane or Gallic

--British Airways first officer’s announcement, as a flight was taxiing to the gate at London’s Heathrow Airport

Stupid Is As Stupid Says...

ON YOU’RE HAVING MORE PROBLEMS THAN YOU THINK
Caller: I’m having a problem with passwords on my computer. When I type them in, it just shows stars.

Tech support: The asterisks are there to protect you.
For instance, if someone is standing behind you, they won’t know what you’ve typed in.

Caller: But they show up even when there is no one standing behind me!

--actual call to a computer helpline

Stupid Is As Stupid Says...

ON TALK ABOUT YOUR CLEAR MOVIE SYNOPSES!
When she touched something on the back of the youth. She was surprised and asked he with her beautiful eyes. The man was very excited to show her figure which was supported by the bamboo.

--cover copy on a Chinese bootleg of the movie Catch Me If You Can

Stupid Is As Stupid Says...

ON IT’S STORIES LIKE THIS THAT MAKE A GREAT NEWSPAPER
In Portola, a caller reported that while she was in the shower, someone snuck into her house and vomited on her stove. A deputy reported that it appeared to be cooking grease on the stove.

--from the Portola (California) Reporter

Stupid Is As Stupid Says...

ON WHY WE CAN’T WAIT TILL SEASON TWO
As my life changes, season two will be different because different things happen, and it’s a reality show.

--actress Denise Richards, on It’s Complicated

Stupid Is As Stupid Says...

ON MISTAKES, SO EASY TO MAKE
A headline on an item in the Feb. 5th edition of the Enquirer-Bulletin incorrectly stated “Stolen groceries.” It should have read “Homicide.”

--correction in the Enquirer-Bulletin (San Carlos, Redwood Shores, Belmont, California)

Stupid Is As Stupid Says...

ON WHY THERE ARE NO LIGHTS IN GLENN BECK’S BEDROOM
100 percent of Americans agree naked males should never, ever be seen—ever.

--talk show host Glenn Beck, explaining that he didn’t trust Sen. Scott Brown (R-Massachusetts) because he had once posed naked in Cosmopolitan magazine

Stupid Is As Stupid Says...

ON INSTRUCTIONS, IMPOSSIBLE TO FOLLOW
Judge to prosecutor: You cannot ask that witness what he was told by someone else. If you want that evidence in, you will have to get it some other way.

Prosecutor to witness: Very well then, Mr. Davies. Without telling me what he said to you, what did he tell you to say?

Toon Town's Pagan Summer Fest.

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Remember this lady.....

Irena Sendler Died: May 12, 2008 (aged 98) Warsaw, Poland

During WWII, Irena, got permission to work in the Warsaw ghetto, as a Plumbing/Sewer specialist. She had an ulterior motive. Irena smuggled Jewish infants out in the bottom of the tool box she carried. She also carried a burlap sack in the back of her truck, for larger kids. Irena kept a dog in the back that she trained to bark when the Nazi soldiers let her in and out of the ghetto. The soldiers, of course, wanted nothing to do with the dog and the barking covered the kids/infants noises. During her time of doing this, she managed to smuggle out and save 2500 kids/infants. Ultimately, she was caught, however, and the Nazi's broke both of her legs and arms and beat her severely. Irena kept a record of the names of all the kids she had smuggled out, in a glass jar that she buried under a tree in her back yard. After the war, she tried to locate any parents that may have survived and tried to reunite the family. Most had been gassed. Those kids she helped got placed into foster family homes or adopted. In 2007 Irena was up for the Nobel Peace Prize. She was not selected. Al Gore won, for a slide show on Global Warming. Later another politician, Barack Hussein Obama, won for his work as a community organizer for ACORN (the Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now). Hmmm. A tremendous oversight...

Be Very Very Afaid

I handed the teller @ my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00. I said "May I have large bills, please" She looked at me and said "I'm sorry sir, all the bills are the same size." When I got up off the floor I explained it to her....

IDIOT SIGHTING When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!' His reply: 'I know. I already got that side.' This was at the Ford dealership in Canton,MS

IDIOTSIGHTING We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's not..' Four is larger than two.' We haven't used Sears repair since.

IDIOT SIGHTING My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back. She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change. Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.

IDIOT SIGHTING I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.' From Kingman , KS

IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce. -- From Kansas City

IDIOT SIGHTING I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.' Happened in Birmingham , Ala.

IDIOT SIGHTING The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!' She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS

IDIOT SIGHTING At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to 'downsizing,' Our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.' Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare. This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

IDIOT SIGHTING I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.

IDIOT SIGHTING How would you pronounce this child's name? "Le-a" Leah?? NO Lee - A?? NOPE Lay - a?? NO Lei?? Guess Again. This child attends a school in Kansas City, Mo. Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong. It's pronounced "Ledasha". When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, "the dash don't be silent."

SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce the dash. If dey axe you why, tell dem de dash don't be silent STAY ALERT! They walk among us......and they REPRODUCE!!!!

Understanding the new Google privacy policy

COVID-19 Risk

Bugs Bunny Turns 80 Today

That's all folks!

Choose Your Ketchup Wisely

KISS - Every Album Ranked Worst to Best

Wise Words

My grandmother once gave me a tip:

In difficult times, you move forward in small steps.

Do what you have to do, but little by little.

Don't think about the future, or what may happen tomorrow.

Wash the dishes.

Remove the dust.

Write a letter.

Make a soup.

You see?

You are advancing step by step.

Take a step and stop.

Rest a little.

Praise yourself.

Take another step.

Then another.

You won't notice, but your steps will grow more and more.

And the time will come when you can think about the future without crying.

- Elena Mikhalkova
(Image of Tasha Tudor, American Illustrator 1915-2008)

Guess one!

Convent outside Detroit lost 13 nuns to Covid-19 with 12 dying in one month

Coronavirus spread so quickly through a convent in Michigan that it claimed the lives of 12 nuns in one month, beginning on Good Friday.
They were all members of the Felician Sisters convent in Livonia, outside of Detroit, ranging in ages from 69 to 99, the executive director for mission advancement, Suzanne English, confirmed to CNN on Tuesday. A 13th sister initially survived the virus but passed away from its effects in June.

At Niagara Falls - A Tale of Two Bordering Countries

This photo is going viral today, being called “a tale of two bordering countries” (Maid of the Mist is American, Hornblower is Canadian) 🇺🇸🇨🇦

What do you think?

Sage Advice

Blast from the past!

Here's 14 year-old George Harrison, 16 year-old John Lennon and 15 year-old Paul McCartney in The Quarrymen, 1957.