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Tuesday, April 30, 2019

Reflections

Reflections

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Science in action

An Iowa farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her pet dog always moaned right before the phone rang.

The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile elderly lady. He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test set,and dialed the subscriber's house.

The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned loudly and the telephone began to ring. Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:

1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire via steel chain and collar.

2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.

3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the phone number was called.

4. After a couple of such jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate on himself and the ground.

5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring. This demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning.

A beautiful slide show.


Click here for sunset slideshow
Click above for the sunset slideshow

The Kind We All Want

It was about 8:30 AM on a busy morning when an elderly gentleman in his 80s arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb.

He stated that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00. I took his vital signs and had him to take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him.

I saw him looking at his watch and decided since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. After examining him, I could see the wound was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his stitches, and redressed his wound.

While taking care of his wound, we began to talk. I asked if he had a doctor's appointment this morning as he was in such a hurry.

He told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.

I then inquired about her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's.

As we talked and I finished dressing his wound, I asked if she would be worried if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was. He continued saying that she had not recognized him in five years now.

I was surprised and questioned him, "And you are still going every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?"

He smiled as he patted my hand and answered, "She doesn't know me, but I still know who SHE is."

I had to hold back tears as he left. I had goose bumps on my arm and thought, "That's the kind of love I want in my life."

True love is neither physical nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.


~Author Unknown~

The 411 - Beltane

Beltane Dance Beltane or Bealtaine (Irish, pronounced BEL- tayn ) is an ancient Gaelic holiday celebrated around May 1. Historically, this festival was celebrated in Ireland, Scotland and the Isle of Man. There were similar festivals held at the same time in the other Celtic countries of Wales and Brittany and the English county of Cornwall. The festival survives in folkloric practices in the Celtic Nations and the diaspora, and has experienced a degree of revival in recent decades.

For the Celts, Beltane marked the beginning of the pastoral summer season when the herds of livestock were driven out to the summer pastures and mountain grazing lands. In modern Irish, Mí na Bealtaine ('month of Bealtaine') is the name for the month of May. The name of the month is often abbreviated to Bealtaine, with the festival day itself being known as Lá Bealtaine. The lighting of bonfires on Oidhche Bhealtaine ('the eve of Bealtaine') on mountains and hills of ritual and political significance was one of the main activities of the festival.

In ancient Ireland the main Bealtaine fire was held on the May Polecentral hill of Uisneach 'the navel of Ireland', the ritual centre of the country, which is located in what is now County Westmeath. In Ireland the lighting of bonfires on Oidhche Bhealtaine seems only to have survived to the present day in parts of rural County Galway and County Limerick, especially in Limerick itself, as their yearly bonfire night, though some cultural groups have expressed an interest in reviving the custom at Uisneach and perhaps at the Hill of Tara. The lighting of a community Bealtaine fire from which individual hearth fires are then relit is also observed in modern times in some parts of the Celtic diaspora and by some Neopagan groups, though in the majority of these cases this practice is a cultural revival rather than an unbroken survival of the ancient tradition.

Another common aspect of the festival which survived up until the early 20th century in Ireland was the hanging of May Boughs on the doors and windows of houses and of the erection of May Bushes in farmyards, which usually consisted either of a branch of rowan (mountain ash) or whitethorn (hawthorn) which is in bloom at the time and is commonly called the 'May Bush' in Hiberno-English. The practice of decorating the May Bush with flowers, ribbons, garlands and colored egg shells has survived to some extent among the diaspora as well, most notably in Newfoundland, and in some Easter traditions observed on the East Coast of the United States.

Beltane is a cross-quarter day, marking the midpoint in the Sun's progress between the vernal equinox and summer solstice. Since the Celtic year was based on both lunar and solar cycles, it is possible that the holiday was celebrated on the full moon nearest the midpoint between the vernal equinox and the summer solstice. The astronomical date for this midpoint is closer to May 5 or May 7, but this can vary from year to year.

Beltane Dance In Irish mythology, the beginning of the summer season for the Tuatha Dé Danann and the Milesians started at Bealtaine. Great bonfires would mark a time of purification and transition, heralding in the season in the hope of a good harvest later in the year, and were accompanied with ritual acts to protect the people from any harm by Otherworldly spirits, such as the Sídhe. Like the festival of Samhain, opposite Beltane on Nov. 1st (note: the day before Samhain [pronounced Sow-win] (Samhain Eve) became Halloween), Beltane was a time when the Otherworld was seen as particularly close at hand. Early Gaelic sources from around the 10th century state that the druids of the community would create a need-fire on top of a hill on this day and drive the village's cattle through the fires to purify them and bring luck (Eadar dà theine Bhealltainn in Scottish Gaelic, 'Between two fires of Beltane'). In Scotland, boughs of juniper were sometimes thrown on the fires to add an additional element of purification and blessing to the smoke. People would also pass between the two fires to purify themselves. This was echoed throughout history after Christianization, with lay people instead of Druid priests creating the need-fire. The festival persisted widely up until the 1950s, and in some places the celebration of Beltane continues today. A revived Beltane Fire Festival has been held every year since 1988 during the night of 30 April on Calton Hill in Edinburgh, Scotland and attended by up to 15,000 people (except in 2003 when local council restrictions forced the organisers to hold a private event elsewhere).

Beltane as described in this article is a specifically Gaelic holiday. Other Celtic cultures, such as the Welsh, Bretons, and Cornish, do not celebrate Beltane, per se. However they celebrated or celebrate festivals similar to it at the same time of year. In Wales, the day is known as Calan Mai, and the Gaulish name for the day is Belotenia.

Dwelly wrote:

“ In many parts of the Highlands, the young folks of the district would meet on the moors on 1st May. They cut a table in the green sod, of a round figure, by cutting a trench in the ground of sufficient circumferences to hold the whole company. They then kindled a fire, dressed a repast of eggs and milk of the constituency of custard. They kneaded a cake of oatmeal, which was toasted at the embers against a stone. After the custard was eaten, they divided the cake into as many portions as there were people in the company, as much alike as possible in size and shape. They daubed one of the pieces with charcoal, til it was black all over, and they were then all put into a bonnet together, and each one blindfolded took out a portion. The bonnet holder was entitled to the last bit, and whoever drew the black bit was the person who was compelled to leap three times over the flames. Some people say this was originally to appease a god, whose favour they tried to implore by making the year productive. (Dwelly, 1911, "Bealltuinn")


Beltane is observed by Neopagans in various forms, and by a Beltane Fire Dancevariety of names. As forms of Neopaganism can be quite different and have very different origins, these representations can vary considerably despite the shared name. Some celebrate in a manner as close as possible to how the Ancient Celts and Living Celtic cultures have maintained the traditions, while others observe the holiday with rituals culled from numerous other unrelated sources, Celtic culture being only one of the sources used.

Wiccans and Wiccan-inspired Neopagans celebrate a variation of Beltane as a sabbat, one of the eight solar holidays. Although the holiday may use features of the Gaelic Bealtaine, such as the bonfire, it bears more relation to the Germanic May Day festival, both in its significance (focusing on fertility) and its rituals (such as maypole dancing). Some Wiccans celebrate 'High Beltaine' by enacting a ritual union of the May Lord and Lady.

Among the Wiccan sabbats, Beltane is a cross-quarter day; it is celebrated in the northern hemisphere on May 1 and in the southern hemisphere on November 1. Beltane follows Ostara and precedes Midsummer.

*From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Age hath no charm.....

Girl with wine and candle

Another year has passed
And we're all a little older.
Last summer felt hotter
And winter seems much colder.

There was a time not long ago
When life was quite a blast.
Now I fully understand
About 'Living in the Past'

We used to go to weddings,
Football games and lunches..
Now we go to funeral homes
And after-funeral brunches.

We used to have hangovers,
From parties that were gay.
Now we suffer body aches
And wile the night away.

We used to go out dining,
And couldn't get our fill.
Now we ask for doggie bags,
Come home and take a pill.

We used to often travel
To places near and far.
Now we get sore asses
From riding in the car.

We used to go to nightclubs
And drink a little booze.
Now we stay home at night
And watch the evening news.

That, my friend is how life is,
And now my tale is told.
So, enjoy each day and live it up...
Before you're too damned old!

The Alphabet Wife

The Alphabet
After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.

He looked at her for a while, then said, "You're an alphabet wife ..... A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."

She asks ... "What the hell does that mean?"

He said,"Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, and Hot".

She smiled happily and said ... "Oh, that's so lovely, but what about I, J, K?"

He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"

The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving his testicles.

Monday, April 29, 2019

Auroral Tempest



This time-lapse was captured on the morning of November 11, 2013. It is suspected that two CMEs (Coronal Mass Ejections) on Nov 8th and 10th from two separate X-class solar flares combined to form one cloud of plasma. The interaction of this energy with earths magnetosphere created the following visual feast.

Conditions were a chilly -22 degrees C with no wind. It was a very beautiful night above the snow covered fields on the Alberta prairie.

The Concert

The Concert

Click above. Use your back button to return to 'OZ'

Only At Walmart!

 We've all been there, whether you shop there primarily or just run in as a convenience Walmart is that shining beacon of 24/7 commercialism that has been there for us at some point. That being said Walmart attracts all of us and when some people come out of the wood work it's a terrifying thing! Click here or on the picture for more!

Lawyers On A Jury

Jurors

A trial had been scheduled in a small town, but the court clerk had forgotten to call in a jury panel. Rather than adjourning what he thought was an exceptionally simple case, the judge ordered his bailiff to go through the courthouse and round up enough people to form a jury. The bailiff returned with a group of lawyers.


The prosecutor felt that it would be an interesting experiment to try a case before a jury of lawyers, and the defense counsel had no objection, so a jury was impaneled. And the trial went very quickly -- after only an hour of testimony, and very short closing arguments, both sides rested. The jury was then instructed by the judge, and was sent back to the jury room to deliberate.



After nearly six hours, the trial court was concerned that the jury had not returned with a verdict. The case had in fact turned out to be every bit as simple as he had expected, and it seemed to him that they should have been back in minutes. He sent the bailiff to the jury room, to see if they needed anything.



The bailiff returned, and the judge asked, "Are they close to reaching a verdict?" The bailiff shook his head, and replied, "You're honor, they're still doing nomination speeches for the position of foreman."

Let me Google that for you.

In 1590 the settlers of an English colony were found to have disappeared, leaving behind only a single word carved into a tree. The explorer who established this colony now has a state capital named after him. What is the state bird of this state?


I don't know. Google it.

Find the answer: Go to Google and search [1590 English colony] to find it was the Roanoke colony. Read on to find Sir Walter Raleigh established the colony. Search [Raleigh U.S. state capital] to find it is the capital of North Carolina. Search [state bird North Carolina] to find it.

Sunday, April 28, 2019

Dog Diary VS Cat Diary

Dog Diary VS Cat Diary
Click image for a larger picture

Pictures of real brain disorders


Disorder in the Courts of America

These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts of America, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. Enjoy!

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.




ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.




ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.




ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.




ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan.




ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?




ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?




ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh....




ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?




ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?




ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?




ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.




ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.




The Winner!

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy,did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Let me Google that for you.


The unique shape of what organ causes a particular breed of African dog to yodel instead of bark?

I don't know. Google it.

One way to find the answer:
Go to Google and search [African dog yodel] to get the basenji. Searching [basenji yodel organ] reveals that it’s the shape of the ________ that causes the yodel.

The Future of Delivery?

Sunday Morning Sex

I will never hear church bells ringing again without smiling... you may have to read this one twice!


ice cream truck


Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday Morning."

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.

"Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even...

Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."

She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along.

Saturday, April 27, 2019

20 Things You Didn't Know About Sex

You've taken sex ed, have hands-on experience and have seen every episode of 'Sex and the City' -- twice. So, you think you know a lot about sex? Here are the 20 things your health teacher most certainly never taught you (21 Photos)


Click above to see and read more!
Many Straight Guys Like Their Anal Areas Stimulated
If your man won’t admit to wanting some back door action, it could be because he’s afraid that it’ll make him seem gay. “The reality is that the anal area is packed with nerves,” says Levine. She also says that stimulation of the prostate can lead to intense orgasms. If you decide to go exploring, just give him fair warning first!

BIZZARE!

From The Daily Mail Online

Dual LED lights emit a 'soft glow' to guide people to the toilet

One the lid is up, a 'guide light' appears to make sure people do not miss
Battery powered light automatically comes on at night

If you've ever tripped up on your way to the bathroom at night, or ruined your sleep by turning the lights on, help may be at hand.

Kohler has revealed its latest innovation for toilets - a dual LED 'nightlight' system.

Their new seat has a guide light to get people to the right area of their bathroom, at which point a 'task light' is revealed to make sure male users can aim accurately.


Kohler Glow In The Dark Toilet

'Nightlight helps guide you safely and comfortably, even on the darkest nights,' the firm said.
'It’s perfect for kids, seniors, or anyone who needs to use the bathroom in the middle of the night.'


Read more: DailyMail

What's The Brightest Thing In the Universe?

First Grade Proverbs

Gotta love Kids, they have an answer for everything. A first grade teacher had twenty-five students in her class and she presented each child in her class the first half of a well known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.

It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders.


Their insight may surprise you. While reading these keep in mind that these are first graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is classic!




1. Don't change horses.................................until they stop running.


2. Strike while the.........................................bug is close.


3. It's always darkest before.........................Daylight Saving Time.


4. Never underestimate the power of .......... termites.


5. You can lead a horse to water but .......... how?

6. Don't bite the hand that ........................... looks dirty.


7. No news is................................................impossible.


8. A miss is as good as a ............................. Mr.


9. You can't teach an old dog new .............. math.


10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll ............. stink in the morning.


11. Love all, trust ......................................... me.


12. The pen is mightier than the ................. pigs.


13. An idle mind is.........................................the best way to relax.


14. Where there's smoke there's ................ pollution.


15. Happy the bride who..............................gets all the presents.


16. A penny saved is ..................................not much.


17. Two's company, three's ........................ the Musketeers.


18. Don't put off till tomorrow what ............. You put on to go to bed.


19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and ....you have to blow your nose.


20. There are none so blind as .................. Stevie Wonder.


21. Children should be seen and not ......... spanked or grounded.


22. If at first you don't succeed ................... get new batteries.


23. You get out of something only what you ... see in the picture on the box.


24. When the blind lead the blind ............... get out of the way.




And the WINNER and last one...




25. Better late than ......................................pregnant.

Answer me this!

What is 6 inches long that every woman wants?
Click above to see it!

Apple Fritters Covered With Glaze?

... kinda remind me of the Soggy Biscuit game...


...Just Sayin!

Friday, April 26, 2019

HOW SMART IS YOUR RIGHT FOOT?

The Wizard's Right Foot

1. WHILE SITTING AT YOUR DESK, LIFT YOUR RIGHT FOOT OFF THE FLOOR AND MAKE CLOCKWISE CIRCLES WITH IT.

2. NOW, WHILE DOING THIS, DRAW THE NUMBER "6" IN THE AIR WITH YOUR RIGHT HAND. YOUR FOOT WILL CHANGE DIRECTION!!!

I TOLD YOU SO..AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!

Why You Should Wear Your Pajamas to Bed!

Why You Should Wear Your Pajamas to Bed!

Le dîner de Mariele - Chien drôle mange à table

Alberta Red-Neck Wins Lottery ...

Alberta Red-Neck Wins Lottery ...

Free Puppy to a Good Home

My neighbor has a puppy he's giving away FREE! It's a Dachshund Cross, it's house broken, and it's great with kids. He's giving it away because his wife says the dog 'stares' at her when she is undressing, and that gives her the 'Heebie Jeebies'. I think she is just weird!

Click here to see the cutie!

Quote of the day

“Life is short, and we do not have much time to gladden the hearts of those who travel with us; so be quick to love, make haste to be kind, and go in peace to follow the good road of blessing.”

--Pete Buttigieg, US Presidential candidate

Thursday, April 25, 2019

SO YOU THINK YOU KNOW EVERYTHING?

"Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand and "lollipop" with your right. (Bet you tried this out mentally, didn't you?)

It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable. (I'll bet you're going to check this out.)

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.

"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter of the alphabet. (Now, you KNOW you're going to try this out! for accuracy, right?) Also - Pack my box with five dozen liquor jugs.

The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes). (Yep, I knew you were going to "do" this one.)

There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous":
tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: "abstemious" and "facetious." (Yes, admit it, you are going to say ... a e i o u)

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard. (All you typists are going to test this out)

All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.

A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue. (but who really cares?)

A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds. (Some days that's about what my memory span is)

A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

A snail can sleep for three years.

Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.

Almonds are a member of the peach family.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.

Butterflies taste with their feet.

Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. Dogs only have about 10.

February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

If the population of China walked past you, in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

If you are an average American, in your whole life, you will spend an average of 6 months waiting at red lights.

Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.

On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building looks like an American flag.

Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite!

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.

The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket. (Good thing he did that)

The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.

There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

There are more chickens than people in the world.

There's no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewables Vitamins.

Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks; otherwise it will digest itself.

Now you know everything!

Let me Google that for you.


The first known examples of the hairstyle known in some cultures as jata can be seen on a certain group of semi-nomadic East Africans. What colour can be found in their hair?

I don't know. Google it.

One way to find the answer:

Go to Google and search [jata hairstyle] to find dreadlocks. Search [dreadlocks semi-nomadic East Africans] to find that Maasai men wear dreadlocks that have been tinted ____ by the soil.

Top 10 Annoying TV Kids

Cool Pictures