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Thursday, February 28, 2019

Skeletons in love

A pair of human skeletons lie entwined at an Neolithic archaeological dig site near Mantova, Italy, in a photo released February 6, 2007. In a Valentines Day gift to the country, scientists said they are determined to jointly remove and preserve the remains of the couple buried 5,000 to 6,000 years ago, their arms still wrapped around each other in an enduring embrace.


Skeletons in love

- See more here.

The 7 Most Badass Acts of Vandalism Ever Photographed

NOTE: Everything in this article is against the law. If you do it, you will go to jail or something.

Most of us think of graffiti as an urban art relegated to back alleys, rap album covers and all of New York City in the 1980s. But sometimes an artist comes along who proves that with enough creativity, vandalism can transcend typical scribbles and dick pictures on the wall. OK, maybe we spoke too soon about the dick pictures, considering ...


Penis Bridge

As any novice vandal can tell you, the key to a good public penis drawing is execution, and nobody has executed a better one than the Russian art group Voina. When Russia hosted an international economic forum, Voina decided it was the perfect time to get their classy protest on. And just so you know who we're talking about, these guys once staged an orgy in protest of their presidential election, so you know they've got their heads in the right place.

In 2010, the group decided to paint a massive dick on a drawbridge in the middle of St. Petersburg, coordinating the operation so that they could sprint out, paint it and get back before security grabbed them. The result:


Penis Bridge

Read more here.

Where Hershey's Kisses Come From...

Fido Dido - The Mind Reader

Click here to blow your mind!

Click here.

Gay Couple in Heaven

There were these two friends, one who was gay, who died in a horrible car accident. They both went to heaven and were standing at the pearly gates when St. Peter met them.


St. Peter asked the first man for a picture of his wife. After looking at the picture, St. Peter asked him if he had ever cheated on her.

The man replied, "I was unfaithful to my wife one time."

St. Peter decided to give the man a station-wagon for him to drive around heaven.

Now it was the second man's turn.

St. Peter asked him for a picture of his wife and then asked if he had ever cheated on her.

The man replied, "Actually I'm gay, but here's a picture of my lover, and I never cheated on him."

St. Peter was very impressed and decided to give the man a Ferrari to drive around heaven.

After a few months in heaven, the two friends met up with each other. The second man was bragging about his Ferrari when the other turned to him and said, "I wouldn't be bragging if I were you. I just saw your lover on a skateboard."

What's In A Name?


The lineage is now revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt," but now you can handle this situation with confidence!

Jack is the only son of O. Schitt and Awe Schitt. O. Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married Awe Schitt, the owner of Knee-deep N.Schitt, Inc.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt and the twins, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents objections, Deep Schitt married Dump Schitt, a high school drop-out. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Mr. Scherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.

Dip Schitt married Loada Schitt and they produced a nervous son, Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspapers announced the Schitt-Happens wedding. They created a bumper sticker and made millions. You've probably seen it...

The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new bride Pisa Schitt.

So now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt," you can correct them and inform them of your more than deep knowledge of the family tree.

Wednesday, February 27, 2019

Grandpa's new iPad

The Generation Gap is still alive & well!

Here's an example of what happens when the young ones give gifts of technology to the old ones!!

A Daughter is visiting her father. She asks: Tell me Dad, how are you managing with the new iPad we gave you for your birthday?

This is in German...but no subtitles are needed...

Courageous Animals With Prosthetic Limbs (9 pics)

World of Technology

Losing a limb is tough for a human and it's just as tough for an animal. Especially if they walk around on 4 limbs. Take a look at the devices which gave these animals a new lease on life. When Chris P. Bacon was born with malformed hind legs, a vet adopted him and made him a set of wheels from old toys. Chris has now graduated to a more grown-up wheelchair typically used by disabled dogs.


 click here to see them all
Click above to see them

*Thanks, Gary

Let me Google that for you.


1. An ancient city named for a kind of sharp-nosed fish is best known for its trash heaps. What kind of paper in the trash is so valuable?


I don't know. Google it.

One way to find the answer:

Searching [sharp-nosed fish city] in the Google search bar tells you that Oxyrhynchus (in Egypt) is famed for its giant trash piles, which were buried for 2,000 years. The ___________ buried in the middens tells us much about that ancient civilization and includes versions of the Bible and other important texts.

2. You’re in a Provençal market selecting ingredients for a traditional recipe. The vender suggests rascasse, robin mer, and congre and instructs you to serve the dish with rouille. What are you preparing?

I don't know. Google it.

One way to find the answer:

Use the Google Translate tool to learn that rascasse, robin mer, and congre are scorpion fish, sea robin, and conger. Search [Provençal-style fish dish served with rouille] in the Google search bar to learn that these ingredients can be part of _____________.


3. What was the profession of the father of the youngest player ever to win at Wimbledon?

I don't know. Google it.

Go to Google and search [youngest Wimbledon winner] to get Boris Becker. Search [Boris Becker’s father] and you’ll learn that he was an __________ who also founded the tennis center where his son learned to play.

Natural Highs

Think about them one at a time before going on to the next one.

It Does Make You Feel Good, especially the thought at the end of #45.


1. Falling in love.


2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.


3. A hot shower.


4. No lines at the supermarket.


5. A special glance.


6. Getting mail. (regular or email)


7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.


8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.


9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.


10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.


11. Chocolate milkshake (vanilla or strawberry).


12. A bubble bath.


13. Giggling.


14. A good conversation.


15. The beach


16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.


17. Laughing at yourself.


18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you.


19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.


20. Running through sprinklers.


21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.


22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.


23. Laughing at an inside joke.


24. Friends. (Vince!)


25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.


Now wasn't that annoying!

You know you're old when...

You know you're getting old when...

1. When I was born, I was given a choice – a big pecker or a good memory…. I don’t remember what I chose.

2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.

4. Impotence: nature’s way of saying, “No hard feelings…”

5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men – ‘don’t’ and ‘stop’, unless they are used together.

6. Panties: not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.

7. There are three stages in a man’s life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and Try Weakly.

8. Virginity can be cured.

9. Virginity is not dignity, it’s lack of opportunity.

10. Having sex is like playing bridge – if you don’t have a good partner, you better have a good hand.

11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dial were too small.

12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

13. Question: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Answer: Breasts don’t have eyes.

14. Despite the old saying, ‘Don’t take your troubles to bed’, many men still sleep with their wives!

That's No Bull!

At the end of the workday, one cowboy tells another, "That new bull nearly did me in today, partner."

"Oh yeah, what happened?"

"I was putting out the feed, when the sucker came charging at me like a locomotive from hell. He damn near got me!"

"So, how'd you get away?"

"Well the bull kept slipping. He slipped three times, and that gave me a chance to make it to the fence and jump over."

"Man, that's scary. If it'd been me, I would probably have shit all over the place."

"I DID! What do you think the bull was slipping on?"

Tuesday, February 26, 2019

Jeffery Straker, outstanding Canadia Artist, Winner of the Vina del Mar International Song Competition

A few of my favourite Jeffery Straker songs/videos. Jeffery is an amazing artist who write his own music, words, and plays the piano superbly! Be sure to visit his official page as well as his youtube channel. (Links are embedded in the page accessible below:

 Click here to watch them!
Click above to watch them. You won't be disappointed

Famous Photos From A Different Angle


The Pyramids at Giza
Pyramids at Giza



The Pyramids at Giza from a different angle
Pyramids at Giza - alternate view

Click here to see the rest at The MetaPicture.com

Twisted Minds?

If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he's the famous erudite scientist/comedian who once said: "I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had been stolen... and replaced by exact duplicates!" His mind tends to see things a bit differently than the rest of us mortals. Here are some of his gems:

1- I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
2- Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.
3- Half the people you know are below average.
4- 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5- 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

6- A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
7- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
8- If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.
9- All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.
10- The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

11- I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.
12- OK, so what's the speed of dark?
13- How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
14- If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
15- Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

16- When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17- Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
18- Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.
19- I intend to live forever; so far, so good.
20- If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

21- Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
22- What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
23- My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
24- Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
25- If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

26- A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking
27- Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
28- The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
29- To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
30- The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

31- The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
32- The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
33- Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.
34- I went to the sporting-goods store for a camouflage suit, but I couldn't find one.

....and the all time favorite-

35- If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

27 Words That Used To Mean Something Totally Different

#5. Bully

Current meaning: Someone who mocks or harms those who are weaker.


Click here to see the rest at buzzfeed.com
Click above to read the rest at buzzfeed.com

What do you see?


Kentucky Fried Puppies
Look again!

The Verruct Meg-A-Blaster Waterslide

A photo of an under-construction water slide in Kansas City, Kan., with what looks to be a right-angle drop has social media users gawking and expressing fear.


The Verruct Meg-A-Blaster


The Verruckt Meg-A-Blaster is being called the world's tallest and fastest water slide and the park where it is being built says it will shatter records set by another slide in Brazil. According to Guinness World Records, the world's tallest water slide is the Kilimanjaro in Barra do Piraí, which is 164 feet high. The slide is located at Kansas City's Schlitterbahn park.

Verruckt is the German word for "insane."


The Verrückt -- German for insane -- is being billed as the tallest, fastest and steepest water slide in the world when it opens in Kansas City, Kan., in the spring. About the ride and how it compares to other tall slides:


The Verruckt -- Insane waterslide



"This new Meg-A-Blaster speed slide … is going to be a game changer for our industry," Schlitterbahn co-owner Jeff Henry said in a news release. "Our greatest challenge will be to find thrill seekers brave enough to ride." Social media users reading posts or stories about the slide said they would be too frightened to try the slide. One reader at the gawker.com site said, "I just feel like you'd fall off the side at some point and that would not be fun." "My fear of heights/falling dreams look cuddly and fun compared to this," wrote another reader. "Who's writing their liability policy?" wrote yet another.

Monty Python song trivia

Monty Python Sings


What word goes in the blank in this lyric from a very silly song indeed? "Spam spam spam spam. _____ spam! Wonderful spam! Spam spam spam spam spam."

Flavorful
Juicy
Lovely
Tasty

What song includes these lyrics? "He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps, he likes to press wild flowers, he puts on women's clothing, and hangs around in bars."

Accountancy Shanty
Lumberjack Song
Do What John?a
I've Got Two Logs

What is the name of the highway man sung about thusly: "soon every lupin in the land, will be in his mighty hand. He steals from the rich, and gives to the poor"?

Jonny Dumbledore
Handsome Albert Gore
Wilfred the Poor
Dennis Moore

"Bruce's Philosophy Song" mentions Kant, Heidegger, David Hume, Socrates, Nietzsche, Descartes, Aristotle, Plato, John Stuart Mill, Hegel, Schlegel, Wittgenstein and Hobbes. What was wrong with all the philosophers according to the song?

They could not agree on anything
They were all boozers
They were all old geezers
None of them were Australian

What knight from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail": "turned about, and gallantly he chickened out. Bravely taking to his feet, he beat a brave retreat."

Brave Sir Robin
Brave Sir Lancelot
Brave Sir Cedrick, the not mentioned elsewhere
Brave Sir Guenivere

What song includes these lines? "In war we're tough and able, quite indefatiguable. Between our quests, we sequin vests, and impersonate Clark Gable."

Knights Who Say 'Ni'
Knights of the Round Table
Bing Tiddle Tiddle Bong
The Questing Life For Me, Yessiree

Which title character from a Python movie: "had arms and legs and hands and feet, ...and he grew, grew, grew and grew, grew up to be, yes he grew up to be, a teenager named ___?"

Henry Kissinger
Brian
Oliver Cromwell
Eric the Half a Bee

"Some things in life are bad, they can really make you mad, other things just make you swear and curse, when you're chewing on life's gristle, don't grumble, give a whistle, and this'll help things turn out for the best." What Eric Idle song starts with these lines?

Always Look on the Bright Side of Life
Whistle While You Weep
Today
All Things Dull and Ugly

What astral song ends with these inspiring words: "So remember when you're feeling very small and insecure, how amazingly unlikely is your birth, and pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space, because there's bugger all down here on Earth?"

Galaxy
Today
Holzfallerlederhosen
Anything Goes

Here are some lines from "Decomposing Composers:" "But one hundred fifty years later, there's very little of them left to see. They're decomposing composers, there's nothing much anyone can do. You can still hear Beethoven..." What is the next line?

Although he is gone away to the loo
But his composing days are quite through
He's gone, so is Mozart, too
But Beethoven cannot hear you

Click here for the answers

The Pink Spotlight on Sir Elton John

Sir Elton JohnSir Elton Hercules John, CBE* (born Reginald Kenneth Dwight on 25 March 1947) is an English pop/rock singer, composer and pianist. In a career spanning five decades, Elton John has sold over 250 million records and has over 50 Top 40 hits, making him one of the most successful musicians of all time.

John was one of the dominant commercial forces in the rock world during the 1970s, with a string of seven consecutive #1 records on the U.S. album charts, 23 Top 40 singles, 16 Top 10 ones, and six #1 hits. His success had a profound impact on popular music, and contributed to the continued popularity of the piano in rock and roll. Key musical elements in John's success included his melodic gifts matched with the contributions of his lyricist partner Bernie Taupin, his rich tenor and gospel-chorded piano, aggressive string arrangements, and his flamboyant fashion sense and on-stage showmanship.

In the early 1990s, John publicly revealed the personal costs of his rock-star The Pink Spotlightextravagance: his ongoing struggle with drug abuse, depression and bulimia. He continues to be a major public figure, and has been heavily involved in the fight against AIDS since the late 1980s. He was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1994 and was knighted in 1998, and has remained an enduringly successful artist.

Life and career


Elton in a tutuReginald Kenneth Dwight was born in Pinner, Middlesex, a London suburb. His father, Stanley Dwight, was an officer in the Royal Air Force and was frequently away. When the elder Dwight was home, he was demanding, disapproving, and difficult to please, exuding a frightening countenance. Reggie's mother, the former Sheila Harris, was strict, but in contrast to her husband was Elton's true mentor, confidant, and confidence booster. Years later, she said that her son grew up "a bundle of nerves." Reggie's childhood was marred by terrible arguments between his parents. But something happened in 1950 that would set his life on an immutable course: At age three, he started playing the piano by ear.

The home's general tunefulness encouraged Reggie's entry into music. Standley Dwight had once played trumpet with and American-styled big band called Bob Miller and the Millermen. He and Sheila were avid record buyers, exposing Reggie to the music of pianists Winifred Atwell, Nat King Cole, and George Shearing, and to signers Rosemary Clooney, Frank Sinatra, Kay Starr, Johnny Ray, Guy Mitchell, Jo Stafford, and Frankie Laine. By the time he was four, his parents recognized Reggie's talent, and would often ask him to play at parties.

In 1956, Reggie discovered Elvis Presley. Soon his mother was buying him records by rock 'n' roll acts like Presley and Bill Haley and the Comets. By the time he started attending the Royal Academy of Music on a scholarship at age 11, Reggie's musical mind was firmly wedded to rock'n'roll.

Reggie preferred playing by ear. Subprofessor Helen Piena once said that upon the boy's entrance into the Academy, she'd played him a for-page piece by Handel, which he promptly played back for her like a "gramophone record." Reggie enjoyed playing Chopin and Bach and singing in the choir during his Saturday classes at the Academy, but was not otherwise a diligent classical student. As he remembered decades later, "I kind of resented going to the Academy. I was one of those children who could just about get away without practicing and still pass, scrape through the grades." Sometimes, he would play truant and ride around the tube. Yet Piena saw Reggie as a "model student."

A student at the Academy for five years, Reggie rounded out the little free time he had with a newspaper route and a job at a wine shop on Saturday afternoons after class. At Pinner Country Grammar School, he was more advanced musically than his peers, and had an aptitude for songwriting, dashing off good melodies for his composition assignments.

Reggie's record collection grew rapidly. He took sustenance in the early rock'n'roll piano pioneers, annoying his father, who wanted him to concentrate on the classics, and frightening his mother with a fascination for music of the sexual, androgynous Little Richard. Reggie gained some notoriety by playing like Jerry Lee Lewis at Pinner Country Grammer functions, and even sang.

In 1962, Reggie's embattled parents finally divorced, in the wake of Sheila Dwight's friendship with a painter named Fred Farebrother. Later, Stanley married again and had four children.

Personal life
John has had a complicated personal history in both his sexual orientation, as well as personal battles with drugs and spending.


Sexual orientation and extended relationships
While married to Katie, Elton John disclosed his bisexuality in 1976 in a Rolling Elton with David FurnishStone magazine interview. He married German recording engineer Renate Blauel on Valentine's Day, 1984, but they divorced four years later. John later renounced the bisexual claim and announced he was gay.

He met his partner David Furnish, a former advertising executive and now film maker, in 1993. On 21 December 2005, they entered into a civil partnership. A low-key ceremony with only their parents in attendance was held at the Guildhall, Windsor, followed by a lavish party at their Berkshire mansion. The Sun newspaper marked the event with the headline "Elton Takes David Up the Aisle".

John does not have any children, but does have ten godchildren as of March 2006. Besides the aforementioned Sean Ono Lennon, these include Elizabeth Hurley's son Damian Charles and David and Victoria Beckham's son Brooklyn.

Within the music industry, Elton is sometimes known as "Sharon", a nickname originally given to him by good friend Rod Stewart. In return, Elton calls Rod "Phyllis".


Drugs, alcohol and health
During his career, John has battled addictions to alcohol, cocaine and rumoured financial difficulties caused by his profligate spending. In the mid-late 1990s, John formed a friendship with colleague Michael Jackson. Because of the help John gave him during his addiction to painkillers, Jackson dedicated the 1997 album Blood on the Dance Floor to him. John remained silent during the Jackson trial in 2005.

In 1987 he had an operation to remove polyps from his vocal cords. He has used marijuana extensively and this may have contributed to the polyp formation. [11]. John has also gone public about his battle with the eating disorder; bulimia.

The death of teenager Ryan White, as a result of AIDS in 1990, confronted Elton with the immense importance of time and life, and motivated him to tackle his problems of alcohol and drug addiction. John checked himself into a rehabilitation clinic to finally overcome his demons.

In July 1999, he was fitted with a pacemaker due to an irregular heart beat.


Charity
John has long been associated with AIDS charities after the deaths of his friends Ryan White and Freddie Mercury, raising large amounts of money and using his public profile to raise awareness of the disease. For example, in 1986 he joined with Dionne Warwick, Gladys Knight, and Stevie Wonder to record the single "That's What Friends Are For", with all profits being donated to the American Foundation for AIDS Research. The song won Elton and the others the Grammy Award for Best Pop Performance by a Duo or Group with Vocal (as well as Song of the Year for its writers, Burt Bacharach and Carole Bayer Sager). In April 1990, John performed "Skyline Pigeon" at the funeral of White, a teenage hemophiliac he had befriended.

Sir EltonJohn founded the Elton John AIDS Foundation in 1992 as a charity to fund programmes for HIV/AIDS prevention, for the elimination of prejudice and discrimination against HIV/AIDS-affected individuals, and for providing services to people living with or at risk of contracting HIV/AIDS. This cause continues to be one of his personal passions. In early 2006, Elton donated the smaller of two bright-red Yamaha pianos from his Las Vegas show to auction on eBay to raise public awareness and funds for the foundation

Every year since 2004, he has opened a shop (this year in Manhattan, before in London and Atlanta), selling his second hand clothes. Called "Elton's Closet" the sale this year of 10,000 items was expected to raise $400,000.

Happy Birthday Sir Elton!

*He was made a CBE in 1996. In the 1998 New Year's Honours list he was made a Knight Bachelor. The latter confers no postnominal letters, hence he is Sir Elton John CBE.