The Love Doctor

Dear Love Doctor,

I am having a struggle with my sexual orientation. I am a 16 year old boy from Winnipeg. I don’t think or want to be gay, but there’s no defying the feelings I have for this boy in school. I go to an all boys Catholic school. It’s been hard to keep my mind on my studies when its always drawn to thinking about different cute boys all the time. This one boy, I will call Jaden, is especially keeping my mind busy. We aren’t best friends. But we are indeed friends. He doesn’t know of my feelings towards him, and I’m not sure how he will take it. It’s a pretty butch school with a strong athletic program. I worry about stirring the pot so to speak, I think the other boys would not accept me if they found out I was a homosexual. So I stay in the closet hoping that one day, I’ll be able to declare my love for Jaden. Doc, do you have any ideas for how I can let Jaden know how I feel?

Signed,

In love with my friend

Dear In Love,

While I firmly believe that being open to your sexual orientation is far healthier than being closeted, if your safety is in danger at school, then perhaps you should stay on the down-low.

That said, has Jaden given you any reason to think he’s open to a relationship with you or another boy? When you are together, are you always in a group or do you hang out alone together? If it’s the latter, perhaps you can trust him with your feelings. What sort of activities do you do together? Has he invited you to his room? That's kind of like showing you he trusts you and is intimate at least on some level with you.

Maybe start talking about love, and has he been in love – hos answers may help you find out if he’s game to try some innocent bonding ‘games’ with you. Like strip poker, or the like. You can flat out ask him what he thinks about homosexuals, his answer may let you know. I said >i>MAY

because sometimes those in the closet will take a stronger approach to gay people. “Me thinks he doth protest too much.” comes to mind here.

So that’s my 2 cents. Please tred carefully and good luck on your sexual adventure!

Hope this helps,

The Love Doctor

--Send your questions about love to "The Love Doctor" directly from 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow! I have added an email link that goes direct to The Love Doctor - this will enable quicker responses from him. You can do this by clicking on his picture in the sidebar and put your question in the email. This will ensure that The Love Doctor gets your question. The Love Doctor forwards his replies to me for posting consideration. Note: Due to the high volume of letters that The Love Doctor receives, not all letters will be posted on 'OZ' - but the Love Doctor will reply to every email. (so he says)