***Disclaimer***

*****Disclaimer: The Wizard of 'OZ' makes no money at all from 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow. 'OZ' is 100 % ad-free*****

Monday, April 30, 2018

The 10 Most Disturbing Scientific Discoveries

The 10 most disturbing scientific discoveries ever!

Click here to read the story
Scientists have come to some surprising conclusions about the world and our place in it. Are some things just better left unknown? Click on the picture above.

Have you ever wondered how a woman's brain works?

Well....it's finally explained here in one, easy-to-understand illustration:

How a woman's brain works...

Every one of those little blue balls is a thought about something that needs to be done, a decision or a problem that needs to be solved...

Good thing a man's brain requires only two balls.

Tech Support Cheat Sheet

Tech Support Cheat Sheet
Click on the image and print it for your needs...

Wise Words

Be Wise

Be Wise!On Talking

"Wise people talk because they have something to say, fools because they have to say something."

- PLATO -


Be Wise!To Clean the Microwave

To clean and freshen the microwave, in a bowl mix ¼ cup of white vinegar and 1 cup of water and heat for 5 minutes, this will remove odors and soften baked on food spills.


Be Wise!Ocean Benefits

The ocean is chalk full of seaweed which is a cancer-fighting agent. Some studies show that seaweed, or kelp, contains powerful antioxidants that inhibit the growth of certain cancer cells, mostly breast cancer. Seaweed contains high concentrations of the compound tryptophan, which has anti-carcinogens. Crumble seaweed over vegetables, soups, rice, and salads.


Be Wise!You Never Know

It's easier to know what you don't want than know what you want.


Be Wise!Hope

Never let go of hope, for it is one of mans last possessions.


Be Wise!General Wisdom

Most of our suspicions of others are aroused by our knowledge of ourselves.


Be Wise!Time Management

"Always use the time you have to finish your work. Never leave it to the last minute. Once time goes away, it never comes back.

Sunday, April 29, 2018

Office Dares


ONE-POINT DARES

1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.

2) Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

3) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say,"Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."

4) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.

5) Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say,"Sorry, I really prefer it this way."

6) Walk sideways to the photocopier.

7) While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

TWO POINT DARES

1) Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.

2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that," I don't want to have to repeat it."

3) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).

4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle(there must be a 'non-player' within sight).

5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

FIVE POINT DARES

1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (5 extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).

2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.

3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob."

4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two."

5) After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in "The report's on your desk, Mon." Keep this up for 1 hour.

6) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.

7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, all of you just shut up!"

8) At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God as my witness, I'll never go hungry again."

9) In a colleague's DAY PLANNER, write in the 10am slot: "See how I look in tights."(5 Extra points if it is a male, 5 more if he is your boss)

10) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, "You wanna trade?"

11) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

12) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it."

13) Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.

14) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.

15) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.

16) Hang a 2' long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

17) Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuits,
smashing each biscuit with your fist.

18) During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.

19) Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.

And if that wasn't enough for you...

How to keep a healthy level of insanity:

1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4) Put your waste basket on your desk and label it "IN".

5) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."

7) Don't use any punctuation

8) Use, too...much; punctuation!

9) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

11) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

12) Sing along at the opera.

13) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14) Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

15) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

16) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, "Rock Hard."

17) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won! 3rd time this week!!!"

18) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"

And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity....

19) Send this post to everyone in your address book, even if they sent it to you or have asked you not to send them stuff like this.

#1 on How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity is my FAVORITE! I hope you enjoyed this as much as i did! Take care and remember to smile!


Live Well. Laugh Often.

Two dead boys got up to fight

Two dead boys got up to fight
One fine day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight,
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other,

One was blind and the other couldn't, see
So they chose a dummy for a referee.
A blind man went to see fair play,
A dumb man went to shout "hooray!"

A paralysed donkey passing by,
Kicked the blind man in the eye,
Knocked him through a nine inch wall,
Into a dry ditch and drowned them all,

A deaf policeman heard the noise,
And came to arrest the two dead boys,
If you don't believe this story’s true,
Ask the blind man he saw it too!

~~~and~~~

Ladies and jelly spoons, hobos and tramps,
Cross-eyed mosquitoes and bow-legged ants,
I stand before you to sit behind you
To tell you something I know nothing about.
Next Thursday, which is Good Friday,
There’s a Mother’s Day meeting for fathers only.
Wear your best clothes if you haven’t any.
Please come if you can’t; if you can, stay at home.
Admission is free; pay at the door.
Pull up a chair and sit on the floor.
It makes no difference where you sit;
The man in the gallery’s sure to spit.
The show is over, but before you go,
Let me tell you a story I don’t really know.

~~~and~~~

The Complete story:

Ladies and jellyspoons, hobos and tramps,
cross-eyed mosquitos and bow-legged ants,
I stand before you to sit behind you
to tell you something I know nothing about.
Next Thursday, which is Good Friday,
there's a Mother's Day meeting for fathers only;
wear your best clothes if you haven't any.
Please come if you can't; if you can, stay at home.
Admission is free, pay at the door;
pull up a chair and sit on the floor.
It makes no difference where you sit,
the man in the gallery's sure to spit.
The show is over, but before you go,
let me tell you a story I don't really know.
One bright day in the middle of the night,
two dead boys got up to fight.
(The blind man went to see fair play;
the mute man went to shout "hooray!")
Back to back they faced each other,
drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise,
and came and killed the two dead boys.
A paralysed donkey passing by
kicked the blind man in the eye;
knocked him through a nine-inch wall,
into a dry ditch and drowned them all.
If you don't believe this lie is true,
ask the blind man; he saw it too,
through a knothole in a wooden brick wall.
And the man with no legs walked away.

~~~and finally one more~~~

A Nosty Fright

The roldengod and the soneyhuckle,
the sack eyed blusan and the wistle theed
are all tangled with the oison pivy,
the fallen nine peedles and the wumbleteed.

A mipchunk caught in a wobceb tried
to hip and skide in a dandy sune
but a stobler put up a EEP KOFF sign.
Then the unfucky lellow met a phytoon

and was sept out to swea. He difted for drays
till a hassgropper flying happened to spot
the boolish feast all debraggled and wet,
covered with snears and tot.

Loonmight shone through the winey poods
where rushmooms grew among risted twoots.
Back blats flew between the twees
and orned howls hounded their soots.

A kumkpin stood with a tooked creeth
on the sindow will of a house
where a icked wold itch lived all alone
except for her stoombrick, a mitten and a kouse.

"Here we part," said hassgropper.
"Pere we hart," said mipchunk, too.
They purried away on opposite haths,
both scared of some "Bat!" or "Scoo!"

October was ending on a nosty fright
with scroans and greeches and chanking clains,
with oblins and gelfs, coaths and urses,
skinning grulls and stoodblains.

Will it ever be morning, Nofember virst,
skue bly and the sappy hun, our friend?
With light breaves of wall by the fayside?
I sope ho, so that this oem can pend.

The Periodic Table Of Meat**

Scientists have long referred to meat as “the building blocks of delicious meals.” In an effort to catalog the world’s most popular (and unpopular) types of meat into an informative and easy-to-reference tabular form, I give you the Periodic Table of Meat:


(click image to enlarge)

**pleated-jeans.com (No Filler - Just funny)

READ!

READ!

Saturday, April 28, 2018

Teddy Bear - Red Sovine

Police comments

These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

#16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

#14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

#9 "Warning? You want a warning? Okay, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not: Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, 'fair' is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy & corn dogs, and step in monkey poop."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC (National Crime Information Center)."

#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"

#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

#2 "I'm glad to hear that (Police) Chief Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So, you know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS....

#1 "You didn't think we give tickets to pretty women? You're right, we don't. Sign here..."

Newfoundland Fisherman

A Newfoundlander was stopped by a game warden recently with two ice chests full of fish. He was leaving a cove very well known for its fishing.

The game warden asked the man, 'Do you have a license to catch those fish?'

'No sir,' replied the Newfie... 'I don't have a licence - don't need one. You must understand, there are my pet fish."

'Pet fish?'

'Yep, that's the truth. Every night, I take these fish down to the Cove and let them swim around for awhile. Then, when I whistle, they jump right back into this here ice chest and I take them home.'

'That's a bunch of nonsense! Fish can't do that.'

The Newfie looked at the warden for a moment and then said, 'It's the truth Mr. Government Man. I'll show you. It really works.'

'O.K.', said the warden. 'I've got to see this!'

The Newfie stood on a rock and poured the fish into the cove. Then he stood and looked out to sea.

After several minutes, the warden says, 'Well?'

Well, what?', says the Newf.

The warden says, 'When are you going to call them back?'

'Call who back?'

'The FISH', replied the warden!

'What fish?' replied the Newfie.

Moral of the story: We may not be as smart as some city slickers on the mainland but by the lard tundering jaysus we ain't as dumb as some Government employees!

Creepiest 3 1/2 Minutes of children's TV ever... (The Wiggles)

Friday, April 27, 2018

Not everyone can see it. Can you?

Not everyone can see it. Can you?
Not everyone can see it. Can you?

Horror-scopes

Horror-scopes 
click above

You might be an overthinker...

You might be an overthinker...

Social Media Batman

Social Media Batman

NPR's Story of the Day

NPR - Story of the day
NPR's daily top stories that you can't miss. Exceptional, moving, offbeat, or just plain funny. Subscribe to the Story of the Day podcast.

Here is one:

NPR Ed
High-Paying Trade Jobs Sit Empty, While High School Grads Line Up For University

April 25, 2018 • Huge shortages loom in the skilled trades, which require less — and cheaper — training. Should that make students rethink the four-year degree?
Click here to go to NPR and have a listen
Click above to go to NPR and have a listen

Thursday, April 26, 2018

Animal Thoughts...

Animal Thoughts...
Animal Thoughts...
Animal Thoughts...
Animal Thoughts...
Animal Thoughts...
Animal Thoughts...
Animal Thoughts...
Animal Thoughts...
Animal Thoughts...
Animal Thoughts...
Animal Thoughts...
Animal Thoughts...
Animal Thoughts...

"There are Solutions: Even to the hardest problems..."

The Greatest J-O-K-E-S in the World!


WHY PARENTS DRINK
The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers, dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper.

"Hello."

"Is your daddy home?" he asked.

"Yes," whispered the small voice.

"May I talk with him?"

The child whispered, "No."

Surprised, and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"

"Yes."

"May I talk with her?"

Again the small voice whispered, "No."

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"

"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"

"No, he's busy", whispered the child.

"Busy doing what?"

"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.

Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone the boss asked, "What is that noise?"

"A hello-copper" answered the whispering voice.

"What is going on there?" asked the boss, now truly alarmed.

In an awed whispering voice the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper."

Alarmed, concerned, and even more then just a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"

Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle: "ME."



TA TA, DADDY
One night, a father passed by his son's room and heard his son praying: "God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma. Ta ta, Grandpa."

The father didn't quite know what this meant, but was glad his son was praying. The next morning, they found Grandpa dead on the floor of a heart attack. The father reassured himself that it was just a coincidence, but was still a bit spooked.
The next night, he heard his son praying again: "God bless Mommy and Daddy. Ta ta, Grandma."

The father was worried, but decided to wait until morning. Sure enough, the next morning Grandma was on the floor, dead of a heart attack.

Really scared now, the father decided to wait outside his son's door the next night. And sure enough, the boy started to pray: "God bless Mommy. Ta ta, Daddy."

Now the father was crapping his pants. He stayed up all night, and went to the doctor's early the next day to make sure his health was fine. When he finally came home, his wife was waiting on the porch. She said, "Thank God you're here -- we could really use your help! We found milkman dead on our porch this morning!"


THE STUPID TEACHER
It was the first day of school, and the kindergarten teacher was standing in front of her class. She said to them, “Ok children, before we get started, I want to make sure none of you think you are dumb. Because none of you are. If you think you are stupid, please stand up.” She waited for a couple of minutes, but no one stood up. One boy stood up and the teacher asked, “Now Bobby, do you really think you are stupid?”

Bobby answered, “Well, no ma’am. But I didn’t want you to be the only one standing.”


SPAGHETTI
For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, He paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife."Honey,"she said, "you received a very strange post card today."

"Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later," he said.

The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.

On the card was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Three with meatballs, two without. Send extra sauce."

Silly Animal Poses, not ready for the camera

from ViralNova.com
Mr. Ed was a social pariah before he was famous.
Tonight, I'll steal your 3 day-old garbage. Eeexxxxcellent.
This is why donkeys don't get dates.
For some reason, no one visits Leo at the zoo.
Falling in love can look spectacularly awkward.
I can has... tongue?
ERMAGHERD, HERMANS.
OMGWHAT?
click here for more!

Wednesday, April 25, 2018

TWO OLD GUYS DANCING

We all know Fred Astaire and Gene Kelly were great dancers but they weren't the only ones.

Here are James Cagney and Bob Hope at a Friar's Club Meeting in 1955, back when actors were real performers; Hope was 52 and Cagney was 56.

This looks like it's from a movie, not a routine from a Friar's Club meeting. Doesn't take away from it though! For the young folks, here is something you’ve probably never seen before and, unfortunately, you may never see again.

For us older folks, this is the best of the best, and we had it for many years! This is a side of these two entertainers you hardly ever saw, but it shows you their enormous talent.

Bob Hope, the best of comedians, and James Cagney, mostly cast as the bad guy, a gangster in the movies.



Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.

DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN...?

Do you remember?
All the girls had ugly gym uniforms?

It took five minutes for the TV warm up?

Nearly everyone's Mom was at home when the kids got home from school?

Nobody owned a purebred dog?

When a quarter was a decent allowance?

You'd reach into a muddy gutter for a penny?

Your Mom wore nylons that came in two pieces??

All your male teachers wore neckties and female teachers had their hair done every day and wore high heels?

You got your windshield cleaned, oil checked, and gas pumped, without asking, all for free, every time? And you didn't pay for air? And, you got trading stamps to boot?

Laundry detergent had free glasses, dishes or towels hidden inside the box?

It was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a real restaurant with your parents?

They threatened to keep kids back a grade if they failed. . . and they did? When a 57 Chevy was everyone's dream car...to cruise, peel out, lay rubber or watch submarine races, and people went steady?

No one ever asked where the car keys were because they were always in the car, in the ignition, and the doors were never locked?

Lying on your back in the grass with your friends? and saying things like, "That cloud looks like a... "?

Playing baseball with no adults to help kids with the rules of the game?

Stuff from the store came without safety caps and hermetic seals because no one had yet tried to poison a perfect stranger?

And with all our progress, don't you just wish, just once, you could slip back in time and savor the slower pace? Share it with the children of today?

When being sent to the principal's office was nothingcompared to the fate that awaited the student at home?

Basically we were in fear for our lives, but it wasn't because of drive-by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc.? Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat! ? But we survived because their love was greater than the threat.

Send this post on to someone who can still remember Nancy Drew, the Hardy Boys, Laurel and Hardy, Howdy Dowdy and the Peanut Gallery, the Lone Ranger, The Shadow Knows,Nellie Bell,Roy and Dale, Trigger and Buttermilk . .as well as summers filled with bike rides, baseball games, Hula Hoops, bowling and visits to the pool, and eating Kool-Aid powder with sugar.

Didn't that feel good, just to go back and say, "Yeah, I remember that"?

And remember that the perfect age is somewhere between old enough to know better and too young to care.

How many of these do you remember? Candy cigarettes . Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water inside.

Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles. Coffee shops with tableside jukeboxes.

Blackjack, Clove and Teaberry chewing gum.

Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers.

Newsreels before the movie.?

P.F. Fliers.?

Telephone numbers with a word prefix...(Raymond 4-601). Party lines.

Peashooters.

Howdy Dowdy.

Hi-Fi's & 45 RPM records.

78 RPM records!

Green Stamps.

Mimeograph paper.? (killed a few brain cells sniffing that purple ink!)(ditto machine)

The Fort Apache Play Set.

Do you remember a time when...?

Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-moe"?

Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "Do Over!"?

"Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest?

Catching the fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening?

It wasn't odd to have two or three "Best Friends"?

The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was "cooties"?

Having a weapon in school meant being caught with a slingshot?

Saturday morning cartoons weren't 30-minute commercials for action figures?

"Oly-oly-oxen-free" made perfect sense?

Spinning around, getting dizzy, and falling down was cause for giggles?

The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team??

War was a card game?

Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle?

Taking drugs meant orange-flavored chewable aspirin?

Water balloons were the ultimate weapon?

If you can remember most or all of these, then you have lived!!!!!!!