Seven-year-old John had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school. Two days later his teacher phone his mother to tell her that John was misbehaving.
"Wait a minute," said the mother. "I had John here for two months and I never called you once when he misbehaved."
Two Women Archaeologists
Two women archaeologists are down in Mexico excavating an ancient Mayan burial ground looking for some remains to take back to their museum.
Unfortunately, everything they run across is badly decomposed. One of the two says, "We don't seem to be having much luck."
The other replies, "Keep on digging, honey, a good Mayan is hard to find!"
I Just Bought A Pig
Two friends were chatting. "I've just bought a pig!" said the first.
"But where will you keep it?" asked the second. "Your yard's much too small for a pig!"
"I'm going to keep it under my bed," replied the first.
"But what about the smell?"
"He'll soon get used to that."
It was John's turn to drive carpool into town on a day when a new member was traveling along for the first time. As they rode along he began to be suspicious of his new carpooling passenger.
John checked to see if his wallet was safe in the pocket of his coat that was on the seat between them, but it wasn't there. He immediately slammed on the brakes, ordered the fellow out, and said, "Hand over the wallet!"
The frightened carpooler handed over a billfold, before John drove off, leaving him alone at the side of the road. When he arrived home that evening, he started to tell his wife about the experience.
Just as he started to recount the whole story, she interrupted him, saying, "Oh, that reminds me, John. Do you know that you left your wallet at home this morning?"