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Sunday, January 28, 2018

SOLITUDE

By Gail Fulkerson, Saskatoon SK
published in Flight: A Living, Breathing Document of Consciousness
solitude
photo from the internet
The oasis deep within;
Where you go to
Sit at the edge a quiet pool
Filled with the purest water;Not a ripple disturbs it.
The place of undisturbed solitude.

Gazing into the translucent water below,
Random thoughts
Begin to skim the placid surface,
Shaped like tiny fairies who
Smile and wave
As they pass by or
Butterfly shapes fluttering past
On wings made of impossibly delicate elements,
Sent aloft upon currents of air
Scented with the subtlest of
Remembrances from so very long ago.

Childhood; when everything was
Magical, and nothing could dampen
Your spirit, joy or laughter;
Those long ago days when the entire world
Revolved around you,
The centre of the universe.

Then, something happened.
Your light was gone,
It was snatched from you,
And you couldn’t understand why.
Darkness descended.
Joy and laughter was replaced by
Fear, sadness, and loneliness.
Your spirit was deeply wounded.

Nothing was ever the same after that.

Looking back was excruciating.
Try as you might,
You never discovered what you had done
To suffer such punishing anguish.

The years go by.
There are no answers forthcoming.
Emotions are shunted away,
Stuffed into a vast underground chamber,
Where they accumulated, year after year,
Behind walls as thick as mountain ranges.

Then, something happened again;
And your “indestructible fortress”
Lies in ruins at your feet.
The immense pressure
Of a lifetime of unexpressed emotions,
Relegated to a prison they were
Never supposed to populate;
The walls could hold them back no longer.

From inside your body, tremors commence,
The ones that set you dizzy and reeling,
No level pavement in evidence to stand upon.
The earsplitting sounds of rock
Splitting deep within the once solid walls.
Destruction is imminent, but you
Couldn’t read the signs:
Pitch blackness had already descended,
Leaving you blind.

You feel as though you will die,
And begin to ponder ways
To bring it all to a quick end.
No one should have to endure such
Unrelenting loss, grief,
Pain, and heartache that will not cease.

Then, one day, you awaken to
Sunshine and hopefulness
Streaming through your windows.
Things don’t seem so bad right now.
The light within you
Grows larger,
Casting a wider circle.
Warmth and softness is beginning to return.
“Spring thaw” has arrived.
You allow your gaze to fall upon brighter things.
You begin to believe that the end of the darkness
Is in sight.

New life is growing silently below the surface,
Under the ashes,
Breaking through the dark, in triumph.
It will instinctively search for the light
To keep it alive, nourished and strong:

And that light is you.

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