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Monday, January 22, 2018

Where did "Three Square Meals a Day" originate?

Three square meals a day.

The Pinta
In the days of the old wooden sailing ships, food and fresh water was always a problem, therefore feeding a hardworking crew would have been very difficult.

There was no electricity therefore no refrigeration and the only fuel source to provide hot food were wood burning stoves.

Meat and fish was dried and salted to be stored in barrels. There would have been few vegetables once the ship had been at sea for any length of time. Fruits were unheard of except perhaps apples stored in barrels. Hence the expression "one bad apple" would contaminate all within the barrel. It must have been soul destroying to open up a fresh barrel of apples only to find that they were all bad and had to be thrown over the side.

With no fresh vegetables and little fruit, the sailors diet was seriously deficient in vitamin C. The result was a common disease known as scurvy. To overcome this Royal Naval ships crews were given a daily ration of Lime juice and even in my days in the Navy this ration is still made available when certain arduous conditions prevailed. This was noticed by the American before the war of independence and hence the English are still referred to as "Limeys" to this day.

Larger ships would take to sea with live animals to be butchered and eaten at a later date and as the journey length was dependant on the wind and weather, it would have been extremely difficult to plan domestic arrangements with any certainty.

In bad weather with the ship being tossed like a cork on the waves, the wood burning stove was a dangerous device which if it got out of hand would consume the wooden ship. In extreme conditions hot food was difficult to provide and yet most foods would require cooking to kill the bacteria and make them edible.

The ships carpenter would make plates for the crew and the easiest way to make a plate was to cut a square section piece of wood. Square shaped plates could be stowed away easily and wooden ones would not break irrespective of how violent the ships movement might become. There was no sort of turning machine to make round plates and that would have been seen as an unnecessary expense.

So when the sea state allowed and there was sufficient food available, every effort would have been made to provide the crew with a hot edible meal. This would have been collected from the galley and eaten with relish on the mess deck table utilising the square section plate.

Therefore if you achieved "Three Square meals a day" you were doing very well. An expression still used today in everyday English.

Source(s): http://www.the-old-sea-dog.net/uk8.html

--Wizard's note: Before you write me - I realize that the ship pictured is one of Chris Columbus' from Spain...

The Wizard of OZ Magical Bedroom


How many cars are owned per capita world-wide?

# 1 United States: 765 cars per 1000 people
# 2 Luxembourg: 686 cars per 1000 people
# 3 Malaysia: 641 cars per 1000 people
# 4 Australia: 619 cars per 1000 people
# 5 Malta: 607 cars per 1000 people
# 6 Italy: 566 cars per 1000 people
# 7 Canada: 563 cars per 1000 people
# 8 New Zealand: 560 cars per 1000 people
# 9 Austria: 558 cars per 1000 people
# 10 Japan: 543 cars per 1000 people

# 11 Portugal: 537 cars per 1000 people
# 12 Iceland: 522 cars per 1000 people
# 13 Norway: 494 cars per 1000 people
# 14 Belgium: 484 cars per 1000 people
# 15 Spain: 471 cars per 1000 people
# 16 Cyprus: 450 cars per 1000 people
# 17 Lebanon: 434 cars per 1000 people
# 18 United Kingdom: 426 cars per 1000 people
# 19 Netherlands: 417 cars per 1000 people
# 20 Slovenia: 413 cars per 1000 people

# 21 Denmark: 408 cars per 1000 people
# 22 Czech Republic: 399 cars per 1000 people
# 23 Qatar: 378 cars per 1000 people
# 24 Ireland: 359 cars per 1000 people
# 25 Estonia: 353 cars per 1000 people
# 26 Saudi Arabia: 336 cars per 1000 people
# 27 Greece: 329 cars per 1000 people
# 28 Bahrain: 322 cars per 1000 people
# 29 Antigua and Barbuda: 302 cars per 1000 people
# 30 Bahamas, The: 289 cars per 1000 people

# 31 Lithuania: 267 cars per 1000 people
# 32 Israel: 263 cars per 1000 people
# 33 Hungary: 262 cars per 1000 people
# 34 Poland: 261 cars per 1000 people
# 35 Bulgaria: 239 cars per 1000 people
# 36 Slovakia: 237 cars per 1000 people
# 37 Libya: 234 cars per 1000 people
# 38 Croatia: 233 cars per 1000 people
# 39 St. Kitts and Nevis: 223 cars per 1000 people
# 40 Latvia: 214 cars per 1000 people

# 41 United Arab Emirates: 193 cars per 1000 people
# 42 Barbados: 188 cars per 1000 people
# 43 Tonga: 174 cars per 1000 people
# 43 Uruguay: 174 cars per 1000 people
# 45 Suriname: 172 cars per 1000 people
# 46 Argentina: 170 cars per 1000 people
# 47 St. Lucia: 166 cars per 1000 people
# 48 Dominica: 163 cars per 1000 people
# 49 Singapore: 158 cars per 1000 people
# 50 Macedonia: 157 cars per 1000 people

# 51 Trinidad and Tobago: 151 cars per 1000 people
# 52 Oman: 150 cars per 1000 people
# 53 South Africa: 146 cars per 1000 people
# 54 Mexico: 138 cars per 1000 people
# 55 Romania: 135 cars per 1000 people
# 56 Fiji: 129 cars per 1000 people
# 57 Russia: 124 cars per 1000 people
# 58 Seychelles: 118 cars per 1000 people
# 59 Costa Rica: 116 cars per 1000 people
# 60 Venezuela: 110 cars per 1000 people

# 61 Belarus: 109 cars per 1000 people
# 62 St. Vincent / Grenadines: 100 cars per 1000 people
# 63 Ukraine: 98 cars per 1000 people
# 64 Panama: 97 cars per 1000 people
# 64 Chile: 97 cars per 1000 people
# 66 Mauritius: 88 cars per 1000 people
# 67 Algeria: 87 cars per 1000 people
# 68 Jamaica: 85 cars per 1000 people
# 69 Brazil: 81 cars per 1000 people
# 70 Tunisia: 71 cars per 1000 people

# 71 Turkey: 67 cars per 1000 people
# 72 Paraguay: 63 cars per 1000 people
# 73 Dominican Republic: 62 cars per 1000 people
# 74 Botswana: 57 cars per 1000 people
# 74 El Salvador: 57 cars per 1000 people
# 76 Vanuatu: 54 cars per 1000 people
# 77 Morocco: 53 cars per 1000 people
# 78 Azerbaijan: 51 cars per 1000 people
# 79 Iraq: 50 cars per 1000 people
# 80 Moldova: 49 cars per 1000 people

# 81 Jordan: 47 cars per 1000 people
# 82 Bolivia: 46 cars per 1000 people
# 83 Ecuador: 44 cars per 1000 people
# 84 Samoa: 41 cars per 1000 people
# 84 Peru: 41 cars per 1000 people
# 84 Guyana: 41 cars per 1000 people
# 87 Albania: 35 cars per 1000 people
# 88 Nicaragua: 33 cars per 1000 people
# 89 Philippines: 31 cars per 1000 people
# 90 Cape Verde: 30 cars per 1000 people
# 90 Egypt: 30 cars per 1000 people

# 92 Colombia: 29 cars per 1000 people
# 93 Djibouti: 28 cars per 1000 people
# 94 Sri Lanka: 25 cars per 1000 people
# 95 Iran: 23 cars per 1000 people
# 96 Indonesia: 21 cars per 1000 people
# 97 Guatemala: 19 cars per 1000 people
# 97 Congo: 19 cars per 1000 people
# 99 Senegal: 18 cars per 1000 people
# 100 Liberia: 13 cars per 1000 people

# 100 New Guinea: 13 cars per 1000 people
# 102 Cote d'Ivoire: 12 cars per 1000 people
# 102 Haiti: 12 cars per 1000 people
# 102 India: 12 cars per 1000 people
# 105 Honduras: 11 cars per 1000 people
# 105 Sierra Leone: 11 cars per 1000 people
# 107 Belize: 10 cars per 1000 people
# 107 China: 10 cars per 1000 people
# 109 Nepal: 9 cars per 1000 people
# 110 Cameroon: 8 cars per 1000 people
# 110 Pakistan: 8 cars per 1000 people

# 112 Guinea-Bissau: 6 cars per 1000 people
# 112 Burkina Faso: 6 cars per 1000 people
# 112 Burma: 6 cars per 1000 people
# 115 Mauritania: 5 cars per 1000 people
# 115 Burundi: 5 cars per 1000 people
# 115 Guinea: 5 cars per 1000 people
# 118 Uganda: 4 cars per 1000 people
# 118 Central African Republic: 4 cars per 1000 people
# 118 Niger: 4 cars per 1000 people
# 118 Angola: 4 cars per 1000 people
# 122 Chad: 3 cars per 1000 people
# 122 Somalia: 3 cars per 1000 people
# 122 Sudan: 3 cars per 1000 people

# 125 Bangladesh: 2 cars per 1000 people
# 125 Benin: 2 cars per 1000 people
# 125 Mozambique: 2 cars per 1000 people
# 125 Rwanda: 2 cars per 1000 people
# 129 Nigeria: 1 cars per 1000 people
# 129 Madagascar: 1 cars per 1000 people
# 129 Ethiopia: 1 cars per 1000 people
# 129 Mali: 1 cars per 1000 people
# 133 Afghanistan: 0 cars per 1000 people
# 133 Malawi: 0 cars per 1000 people

Weighted average: 164.0 cars per 1000 people

Oh, Yeah. There's your problem...

Oh, Yeah. There's your problem:

Sunday, January 21, 2018

Dogs Enjoying The First Snowfall Of The Year


Dogs Enjoying The First Snowfall Of The Year
Winter storms are starting to hit but hey, at least the doggies don't mind!

"Normisms"


Norm!What's doing, Norm?
"Well, science is seeking a cure for thirst. I happen to be the guinea pig."


What's up, Norm?
"My nipples. It's freezing out there."


What's shaking, Norm?
"All four cheeks & a couple of chins."


What's new, Norm?
"Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach & they're demanding beer."


What'd you like, Normie?
"A reason to live. Give me another beer."


What'll you have, Normie?
"Well, I'm in a gambling mood Sammy. I'll take a glass of whatever comes out of the tap."
Looks like beer, Norm.
"Call me Mister Lucky."


Hey Norm, how's the world been treating you?
"Like a baby treats a diaper


What's the story, Mr. Peterson?
"The Bobbsey Twins go to the brewery. Let's cut to the happy ending."


Hey Mr. Peterson, there's a cold one waiting for you.
"I know, if she calls, I'm not here."

What's going on, Mr. Peterson?
"A flashing sign in my gut that says, 'Insert beer here.'"

"Whatcha up to, Norm?"
"My ideal weight if I were eleven feet tall."

How's it going, Mr. Peterson?"
"Poor."
I'm sorry to hear that.
"No, I mean pour."

How's life treating you, Norm?
"Like it caught me sleeping with its wife."


"Women. Can't live with 'em.... pass the beer nuts."

What's going down, Normie?
"My butt cheeks on that bar stool."


Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?
"Alright, but stop me at one....make that one-thirty."


How's it going, Mr. Peterson?
"It's a dog eat dog world, Woody & I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear."


What's the story, Norm?
"Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer."

Can I pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?
"A little early, isn't it, Woody?"
For a beer?
"No, for stupid questions."


What's the story, Norm?
"Thirsty guy walks into a bar. You finish it."


What's new, Norm?
"Most of my wife."


Beer, Norm?
"Naah, I'd probably just drink it."


What's doing, Norm?
"Well, science is seeking a cure for thirst. I happen to be the guinea pig."


Can I draw you a beer, Norm?
"No, I know what they look like. Just pour me one."


How about a beer, Norm?
"Hey I'm high on life, Coach. Of course, beer is my life."


How's a beer sound, Norm?
"I dunno. I usually finish them before they get a word in."


Beer, Normie?
"Uh, Coach, I dunno, I had one this week. Eh, why not, I'm still young."


Norm comes in with an attractive woman. Normie, Normie, could this be Vera?
"With a lot of expensive surgery, maybe."


What would you say to a nice beer, Normie?
"Going down?"


What'll it be, Normie?
"Just the usual, Coach. I'll have a froth of beer and a snorkel."


What do you say, Norm?
"Any cheap, tawdry thing that'll get me a beer."


[coming in from the rain] "Evening, everybody."
Norm!
Still pouring, Norm?
"That's funny, I was about to ask you the same thing."


Whaddya say, Norm?
"Well, I never met a beer I didn't drink. And down it goes."


[Norm goes into the bar at Vic's Bowl-A-Rama] Off-screen crowd: Norm!
Sam: How the hell do they know him here?
Cliff: He's got a life, you know.


What's your pleasure, Mr. Peterson?
"Boxer shorts and loose shoes. But I'll settle for a beer."


How's life, Mr. Peterson?
"Oh, I'm waiting for the movie."


What can I do for you, Mr. Peterson?
"Elope with my wife."


How's life in the fast lane, Normie?
"Beats me, I can't find the on-ramp."


What's happening, Mr. Peterson?
"The question, Woody, why is it happening to me?"


How are you today, Mr. Peterson?
"Never been better, Woody. ... Just once I'd like to be better."


Hey, Mr. Peterson, what do you say to a cold one?
"See you later, Vera, I'll be at Cheers."


Well, look at you. You look like the cat that swallowed the canary.
"And I need a beer to wash him down."


Hey, Mr. Peterson, how's life?
"Well, the plot's okay, Woody, but it kind of falls apart at the end."


What's going on, Mr. Peterson?
"Let's talk about what's going in Mr. Peterson. A beer, Woody."


How's life treating you?
"It's not, Sammy, but that doesn't mean you can't."


Beer, Norm?
"Have I gotten that predictable? Good."


What do you know there, Norm?
"How to sit. How to drink. Want to quiz me?"


Hey, how's life treating you there, Norm?
"Beats me. ... Then it kicks me and leaves me for dead."


How would a beer feel, Mr. Peterson?
"Pretty nervous if I was in the room."


Hey, Mr. Peterson, what's up?
"The warranty on my liver."


What can I do for you, Norm?
"Open up those beer taps and, oh, take the day off, Sam."


What's going on, Normie?
"My birthday, Sammy. Give me a beer, stick a candle in it, and I'll blow out my liver."


How about a beer, Norm?
"That's that amber sudsy stuff, right? I've heard good things about it!"


What's shaking Mr. Peterson?
"What isn't?"


How's it going, Norm?
"Cut the small talk and get me a beer."


What can I do for you Norm?
"Well, I am going to need something to kill time before my second beer so how about a first one?"


How's life Norm?
" Ask a man whose got one."


What'll you have, Norm?
"Fame, fortune, and fast women."
How 'bout a beer?
"Even better."


How's the world treating you, Norm?
"Like I just ran over its dog."

Wise Words

Be Wise

Be Wise!Stalking the Feeder

Stop him from preying on the feathered friends with the help of an orange. Simply peel the fruit and scatter the peels around the base of your bird feeder.

Cats detest the smell of citrus, so Fluffy (and any feline friends) will steer clear. Plus putting a few pieces of citrus pulp on the feeder will attract hummingbirds and orioles.


Be Wise!Mankind

"All mankind rules its women, and we rule all mankind, but our women rule us."

- Cato the Elder -


Be Wise!Arguing

I've never learned anything from someone who agreed with me.


Be Wise!How To Spread the Word

Secrets should be regarded as what we tell others when we want something to be widely known.


Be Wise!Be Grateful For What Isn't

It is easy to be grateful for all of the positive things that happen in life but few of us take notice of the even greater number of negative things that never found us.


Be Wise!Right Track

"Even if you are on the right track, you won't get anywhere if you are standing still."

- Will Rogers -


Be Wise!Success

"Success is more than increasing the digits in your bank account."

- Anonymous -

Giggles, Guffaws and Groaners...


Soft Water
Two young boys were out playing. One of them was showing off his new water pistol.

"Tell your mom you want one of these too. Then we can shoot water at each other!" he exclaimed.

" I don't think so," said the other boy. "My mom says we have hard water!"


Did You Say Four?
A football coach walked into the locker room before a big game, looked over to his star player and said, "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we really need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play."

The player agreed, so the coach looked into his eyes intently and asked, "Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this... What is two plus two?"

The player thought for a moment and then answered, "Four?"

"Did you say four?" the coach exclaimed, excited that he had given the right answer.

Suddenly, all the other players on the team began screaming, "Come on coach, give him another chance!"
HYUK!

The Real Meaning of Hotel Slogans
Old world charm ................................. No bath
Options galore ................................... Nothing is included in the itinerary
No extra fees ..................................... No extras
Nominal fee ....................................... Outrageous charge
Standard ........................................... Sub-standard
Deluxe .............................................. Standard
Superior ............................................ One free shower cap
Cozy ................................................. Small
All the amenities ................................ Two free shower caps
Plush ................................................ Top and bottom sheets


I'll See You Later
Running into the house after school Tommy said to his mother, “Mom! Isn’t an ox a kind of a bull?”

“Yes, she replied.

“And doesn’t equine have something to do with horses?”

“That’s right,” she said.

Running out of the house, Tommy said, “I’ll see you later!”

“Why? Where are you going?” asked his mother.

“To some other town, I just heard in school that the equinox is coming and I don’t wanna be around when it gets here!”
HYUK!

It's All in the Delivery
Three comedians are shooting the breeze in the dressing room of a nightclub after a late gig. They've heard one another’s material so much that they've reached the point where they don’t need to say the jokes anymore to amuse each other, they just need to refer to each joke by a number.

“Number 37!” cracks the first comic, and the others break up.

“Number 53!” says the second person, and they howl.

Finally, it’s the third comic’s turn. “44!” he quips. He gets nothing. Crickets.

“What?” he asks, “Isn't 44 funny?”

“Sure, it’s usually hilarious,” they answer. “But the way you tell it…”

Saturday, January 20, 2018

For Your Next Party

Do-It-Yourself Confetti

The instructions aren't in English, but I bet you can figure it out!

do-it-yourself confetti

Vanessa James / Morgan Cipres

Sounds of Silence

Viktor Frankl on the Human Search for Meaning

From BrainPickings.org

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

by Maria Popova

Celebrated Austrian psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl (March 26, 1905–September 2, 1997) remains best-known for his indispensable 1946 psychological memoir Man’s Search for Meaning (public library) — a meditation on what the gruesome experience of Auschwitz taught him about the primary purpose of life: the quest for meaning, which sustained those who survived.
Viktor Frankl on the Human Search for Meaning
For Frankl, meaning came from three possible sources: purposeful work, love, and courage in the face of difficulty.

In examining the “intensification of inner life” that helped prisoners stay alive, he considers the transcendental power of love:

Love goes very far beyond the physical person of the beloved. It finds its deepest meaning in his spiritual being, his inner self. Whether or not he is actually present, whether or not he is still alive at all, ceases somehow to be of importance.

Frankl illustrates this with a stirring example of how his feelings for his wife — who was eventually killed in the camps — gave him a sense of meaning:

We were at work in a trench. The dawn was grey around us; grey was the sky above; grey the snow in the pale light of dawn; grey the rags in which my fellow prisoners were clad, and grey their faces. I was again conversing silently with my wife, or perhaps I was struggling to find the reason for my sufferings, my slow dying. In a last violent protest against the hopelessness of imminent death, I sensed my spirit piercing through the enveloping gloom. I felt it transcend that hopeless, meaningless world, and from somewhere I heard a victorious “Yes” in answer to my question of the existence of an ultimate purpose. At that moment a light was lit in a distant farmhouse, which stood on the horizon as if painted there, in the midst of the miserable grey of a dawning morning in Bavaria. “Et lux in tenebris lucet” — and the light shineth in the darkness. For hours I stood hacking at the icy ground. The guard passed by, insulting me, and once again I communed with my beloved. More and more I felt that she was present, that she was with me; I had the feeling that I was able to touch her, able to stretch out my hand and grasp hers. The feeling was very strong: she was there. Then, at that very moment, a bird flew down silently and perched just in front of me, on the heap of soil which I had dug up from the ditch, and looked steadily at me.

--more at BrianPickings.org

The first three words you see describe you

These little brain games are excellent ways to break up the day and give your brain a second to rest. Take a few seconds, let your mind relax and see which words you spot in this reverse word find. I’d tell you the words I spotted, but I certainly wouldn’t want to influence the words you find. Instead, I’ll just join you all in commenting below to share the results.
The first three words you see describe you
Post a comment of your 3 words

The first three words you see are what you want in life.
The first three words you see are what you want in life.
Post a comment of your 3 words

Thursday, January 18, 2018

Suggestion from Human Resources

A suggestion from a Human Resources Manager:

HOW TO PROPERLY PLACE NEW EMPLOYEES . . .

1. Put 400 bricks in a closed room.
2. Put your new hires in the room and close the door.
3. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours.
4. Then analyze the situation:
a. If they are counting the bricks, put them in the Accounting Department.
b. If they are recounting them, put them in Auditing.
c. If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks, put them in Engineering.
d. If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, put them in Planning.
e. If they are throwing the bricks at each other, put them in Operations.
f. If they are sleeping, put them in Security.
g. If they have broken the bricks into pieces, put them in Information Technology.
h. If they are sitting idle, put them in Human Resources.
i. If they say they have tried different combinations, they are looking for more, yet not a brick has been moved, put them in Sales.
j. If they have already left for the day, put them in Management.
k. If they are staring out of the window, put them in Strategic Planning.
l. If they are talking to each other, and not a single brick has been moved, congratulate them and put them in Top Management.

Finally, if they have surrounded themselves with bricks in such a way that they can neither be seen nor heard from, put them in The Senate

Word etymology from a punster's point of view

I DO NOT KNOW what happened to 16 and 17!!!!!

Word etymology from a punster's point of view. These are extremely clever.


1. ARBITRATOR: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonalds


2. AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter tries to do


3. BERNADETTE: The act of torching a mortgage


4. BURGLARIZE: What a crook sees with


5. CONTROL: A short, ugly inmate (I had to think about this one. . .)


6. COUNTERFEITERS: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets


7. ECLIPSE: What an English barber does for a living (also thinking)


8. EYEDROPPER: A clumsy ophthalmologist


9. HEROES: What a guy in a boat does



10. LEFTBANK: What the robber did with his bag full of money


11. MISTY: How golfers create divots


12. PARADOX: Two physicians


13. PARASITES: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower



14. PHARMACIST: A helper on the farm


15. POLARIZE: What penguins see with


18. RUBBERNECK: What you do to relax your wife



19. SELFISH: What the owner of a seafood store does


20. SUDAFED: Brought litigation against a government official

Incredible surfing

It's a jukebox!!

Click on any year and a Juke Box pops up with the top 20 hits of that year! Click on the jukebox below to go to the site!

Wednesday, January 17, 2018

No-No's for Seniors

Many who are over 50, WAY over 50, or on the way to 50 are quite confused about how they should present themselves.

They're unsure about the kind of image they are projecting and whether or not they are correct as they try to conform to current fashion.

In spite of what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together and should be avoided:

1. A nose ring and bifocals

2. Spiked hair and bald spots

3. A pierced tongue and dentures

4. Miniskirts and support hose

5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads

Speedos and cellulite
6. Speedos and cellulite

7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar

8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor

9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge (not just on seniors)

10. Pierced nipples that hang below the waist

11. Bikinis and liver spots.

12. Short shorts and varicose veins.

13. Inline skates and a walker.

And the ultimate 'Bad Taste' in fashion for the older folks...

14. Thongs and Depends.

Please keep these basic guidelines foremost in your mind when you shop.

QUIZ ME!

Hundreds of quizzes! All free and you don't need to sign up for anything!

If I could catch a rainbow

rainbow
If I could catch a rainbow
I would do it just for you
And share with you its beauty
On the days you're feeling blue.

If I could build a mountain
You could call your very own;
A place to find serenity,
A place to be alone.

If I could take your troubles
I would toss them in the sea,
But all these things, I'm finding,
Are impossible for me.

I cannot build a mountain
Or catch a rainbow fair,
But let me be what I know best,
A friend who's always there.

Can You Solve This Tricky Riddle?

2 identical doors riddle
You approach two identical doors. Each door is guarded by identical men.

One door leads to the City of Truth where you will survive. The other door leads to the City of Liars, where you will not survive.

You do not know which door is which. You’re trying to go to the City of Truth and will therefore survive.

To find out which door is which, you can ask one question to one of the guards.

The guard at the door leading to the City of Liars always speaks lies. The guard at the door leading to the City of Truth always speaks the truth.

Which one question do you ask to find the correct door?



Stumped? See the video below for the answer:

Tuesday, January 16, 2018

A Hallmark Moment

Hallmark Moment

Medical Afflictions of the Cartoon World

Medical Afflictions of the Cartoon World

The Wizard's Favourite MJ Video and Song....

The Homosexual Zebra

The Homosexual Zebra The homosexual zebra is a brightly coloured rainbow tint. He can be seen roaming the Serengeti in search of a suitable same-sex mate. Zebra's mate for life but the homosexual zebra is sometimes the exception. This has to do with the prevailing laws in the coutry they reside in. You will see him courting his prospective mate in the late daylight hours, just before sunset. This is do to the innate want of not spending the night alone.

The courtship of the homosexual zebra is quite flamboyant: He will walk with a swish type gate - accentuating his colourful rump. He will swish his tail in a provocative manner. He will do a double take and see if his mark is checking him out. He will blink quickly - so the mark is aware of his interest and will bat his huge eyelashes at the mark.

He will lift his right front hoof and and tap it in such a way that the prospective can see and hear it - thus signifying a wanton need of sexual release. If the mark repeats the same moves - he is telling the aggressor that he is also interested in taking the courtship further.

The two zebras will now trot happily towards each other, and the pursuer will turn his brightly coloured backside to the other, and then will do an about face and immediately bite the other to show him that he is indeed the more powerful - thus determining what will transpire later in the sexual act itself.

If successful, the two homosexual zebra's will move to a well shaded, quiet area, where they can be alone. Homosexual zebra sex can be quite rough - often ending up with one or both requiring some downtime to rest - however, it is not unexpected that they will have some kind of sex, several times over the next several hours.

They will sleep beside each other until morning - at which time, the originator - will kick the other in the butt signifying the end of the encounter.

Homosexual zebra's rarely mate for life, they seem to prefer a "swinging" single lifestyle, with the excitement that that brings. This is in part that they are unable to be seen trotting in public together, without repercussion.

The homosexual zebra has been seen marching in Pride Parades in North America, but sadly, in it's homeland of the Serengeti, Homosexuals are still charged with a crime and thusly have driven the majority of homosexual zebra's to Hide their true colours, to evade detection.

It is my hope, that we will progress as a society that one day soon, the homosexual zebra and indeed, all zebras, homosexual and straight, will be able to peacefully co-exist together, free from the oppression that countries thrust upon them. After all, they are both striped, they both love, it's simply a question of who they love.

Monday, January 15, 2018

Who Am I?

animated question mark

* I am in California.
* I am at a structure 8,981 feet long.
* When built, I was the longest in the world.
* I took five years to finish and cost $35 million.
* I am one of the most beautiful such structures in the world.
* I opened to pedestrians in 1937 and to cars a year later.
* In 2017, for $6.75, I let you into a coastal city, by FasTrak license plate recognition
* Despite its name, my color is reddish-orange.

click here for the answer

Kids ARE Quick!

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
HYUK!

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the
floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
HYUK!

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D- I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

(I Love this kid)
HYUK!

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
HYUK!

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
HYUK!

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
HYUK!

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
HYUK!

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
HYUK!

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
HYUK!

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
HYUK!

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
HYUK!

Well said, Grandma!

Lulu was a prostitute. One day there was a raid. All the prostitutes were lined up outside the police station as they took them in one by one.

As Lulu stood in line, she saw her Grandma coming down the street and was so ashamed. Grandma didn't know her occupation.

Grandma stopped to say hi, and asked what the line was for.

Lulu, saving face, said that the police were giving away fresh oranges to those waiting..

Grandma said wonderful, she loved oranges and got at the end of the line.

When the policeman got to the end and saw her, he was amazed.

He said "How the heck do you do this at your age?"

She said "I just take out my teeth, rip the skin back and suck' em dry!"


The policeman fainted...........
Grandmother

Exercise Ball Tricks