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Saturday, October 20, 2018

Journey to Mars


The first future human mission to Mars and those that follow will require the ingenuity and dedication of an entire generation. We take the next step on that journey with the uncrewed, first flight test of Orion.
Image Credit: NASA
In the not-too-distant future, astronauts destined to be the first people to walk on Mars will leave Earth aboard an Orion spacecraft. Carried aloft by the tremendous power of a Space Launch System rocket, our explorers will begin their Journey to Mars from NASA's Kennedy Space Center in Florida, carrying the spirit of humanity with them to the Red Planet.

The first future human mission to Mars and those that follow will require the ingenuity and dedication of an entire generation. It's a journey worth the risks. We take the next step on that journey this Thursday, Dec. 4, with the uncrewed, first flight test of Orion. (Follow along on the Orion Blog, or see the full schedule of events and launch viewing opportunities).

Orion is the first spacecraft built for astronauts destined for deep space since the storied Apollo missions of the 1960s and 70s. It is designed to go farther than humans have ever traveled, well beyond the moon, pushing the boundaries of spaceflight to new heights.

Orion will open the space between Earth and Mars for exploration by astronauts. This proving ground will be invaluable for testing capabilities future human Mars missions will need. The area around our moon, in particular, called cis-lunar space, is a rich environment for testing human exploration needs, like advanced spacewalking suits, navigating using gravity, and protecting astronauts from radiation and extreme temperatures.

One of Orion's early missions in the 2020s will send astronauts to explore an asteroid, which will be placed in a stable orbit around the moon using a robotic spacecraft. This Asteroid Redirect Mission will test new technologies, like Solar Electric Propulsion, which will help us send heavy cargo to Mars in advance of human missions. Astronauts aboard Orion will return to Earth with samples of the asteroid, having tested a number of collection tools and techniques we'll use in future human missions to Mars or its moons.

Astronauts will board Orion for a first crewed flight in 2021. Many of Orion's systems needed for that flight and others will be tested on Thursday with the first uncrewed flight test.

Orion’s flight test is designed to test many of the riskiest elements of leaving Earth and returning home in the spacecraft. It will evaluate several key separations events, including the jettison of the launch abort system that will be capable of carrying astronauts on future missions to safety if a problem were to arise on the launch pad or during ascent to space, and the separation of the Orion crew module from its service module ahead of its reentry though Earth’s atmosphere.

Orion’s heat shield also will be tested to examine how the spacecraft endures its high speed return from deep space. The heat shield will experience temperatures near 4,000 degrees Fahrenheit during Thursday’s test, and will come back at about 80 percent of the speed the spacecraft would endure returning from the vicinity of the moon.

Other elements will also be put to the test, including how Orion’s computers handle the radiation environment in the Van Allen Belt, the spacecraft’s attitude control and guidance and how its 11 parachutes slow the crew module to just about 20 mph ahead of its splashdown in the Pacific Ocean.

Teams also will evaluate the procedures and tools used to recover Orion from the ocean after it touches down about 600 miles southwest of San Diego and is transported back to shore.

Testing these capabilities now will help ensure that Orion will be the next generation spacecraft for missions in the 2020s that will put Mars within the reach of astronauts in the 2030s.

As development continues on Orion, astronauts aboard the International Space Station are helping us learn how to protect the human body for longer durations, which missions to Mars will require. Researchers operating increasingly advanced rovers and spacecraft on and around Mars are revealing the planet's history while characterizing its environment to better prepare for human explorers. Here on Earth, the U.S. spaceflight industry is building and testing next generation technologies NASA will need to send astronauts to Mars and return them safely.

The Journey to Mars is humanity's Next Giant Leap into our solar system. The Orion spacecraft and its first flight test will help make it possible.

Visit theNASA .gov full site

Meanwhile in Canada...

2 feet of snow fell

5 Undeniable Facts

1. A girl is said to be grown up when she starts wearing a bra. A boy is grown up when he starts removing it.

2. We all love to spend money buying new clothes but we never realize that the best moments in life are enjoyed without clothes.

3. Having a cold drink on hot day with a few friends is nice, but having a hot friend on a cold night after a few drinks - PRICELESS.

4. Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by the woman's husband.

5. Arguing over a girl's bust size is like choosing between Molson, Heineken, Carlsberg & Budweiser. Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.

I haven't verified this on Snopes, but it sounds legit…

A recent study found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

nudge nudge wink wink say no more, know what I mean?

OLD FAMILY TURKEY RECIPE

Here is a turkey recipe that includes the use of uncooked popcorn as stuffing ingredient -- imagine that! When I found this recipe, I thought it was perfect for people like me, who just are not sure how to tell when the turkey is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out. Give this a try.

For an 8 - 15 lb. turkey, 1cup melted butter, 1 cup stuffing (Stove Top is good), 1 cup un-popped popcorn (ORVILLE REDENBACHER'S LOW FAT IS BEST) Salt/pepper to taste Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush turkey well with melted butter, salt and pepper.


Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn. Place in baking pan making sure the neck end is toward the back of the oven, not the front. After about 4 hours listen for the popping sounds.

When the turkey's ass blows the oven door open and the bird flies across the room.... it's done.


And, you thought I couldn't cook.

Psychiatrist vs. Bartender

EVER SINCE I WAS A CHILD, I'VE ALWAYS HAD A FEAR OF SOMEONE UNDER MY BED AT NIGHT, SO I WENT TO A SHRINK AND TOLD HIM:

I've got problems. Every time I go to bed -- I think there's somebody under It. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.

Just put yourself in my hands for one year, said the shrink. Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears.

How much do you charge?

Eighty dollars per visit, replied the doctor.

I'll sleep on it, I said.

Six months later the doctor met me on the street.

Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having? He asked.

Well, Eighty bucks a visit, three times a week for a year, is $12,480.00. A bartender cured me for $10.00. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new pickup truck.

Is that so? With a bit of an attitude he said, and how, may I ask, did a Bartender cure you?

He told me to cut the legs off the bed. Ain't nobody under there now.

FORGET THE SHRINKS..

HAVE A DRINK & TALK TO A BARTENDER!

IT"S ALWAYS BETTER TO GET A SECOND OPINION

A Minute With The Goddess

The Triple Goddess
My name is The Goddess. You hardly have time for me. I love you and will always bless you.

I am always with you.

I need you to spend 60 seconds of your time with Me today.

Don't pray, just praise.

Why do we feel sleepy in prayer, but stay awake through a 3 hour movie?

Why are we so bored when we look at the Book of Shadows but find it easy to read other books?

Why are prayers getting smaller, but bars and clubs are expanding?

Why is it so easy to worship a celebrity, but very difficult to engage with The Goddess?

When one door closes, The Goddess opens two.

The Goddess has no iPhone or Android, but She's my favorite contact.
She is not on FACEBOOK, but she is my best friend.
She is not on TWITTER but I still follow Her, and even without the INTERNET, I am always connected to Her.

She is not on gmail but She's always online.

Blessed Be!

Cinosam "AnkhIwiEmHotep"
Life and Peace be with You --Cinosam

Friday, October 19, 2018

The Pharmacist's Monday

RxUpon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's the pharmacist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone. I had to call multiple times before he would even answer the phone."

Immediately, the husband drove downtown to confront the pharmacist and demand an apology.

Before he could say more than a word or two, the pharmacist told him,

"Now, just a minute, listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, just to realize that I'd locked the house with both house and car keys inside and had to break a window to get my keys.

"Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Later, when I was about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire."

"When I finally got to the store a bunch of people were waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, all the time the darn phone was ringing off the hook."

He continued, "Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I had to get down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels and the phone was still ringing.

When I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it. Half of them hit the floor and broke."

"Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to answer it. It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a Rectal thermometer.

And believe me mister, as God is my witness, all I did was tell her.

Victoria's Secret - Turnabout is Fair Play - Victor's Secret

Victoria's Secret

The Wizard thinks that it's only fair. If they televise Victoria's Secret, 
they should also televise Victor's Secret...
Garçon Model: Combining Style and Comfort in Men's Underwear
Am I right? Am I right?

Seniors test for glasses

SENIOR EYE EXAM

Do you need glasses??

Look carefully at the picture below.

Bare Bum? Nope!
Did you see the bare bum of the girl in the background?

If you did see that in the picture, you need to have your eyes checked, as that is the armpit of the girl holding the camera.

Your appointment is at 2 pm tomorrow

I'M VERY WORRIED ABOUT YOU!!

A Liar

12 Truths About Lying

THE TOILET SEAT

My wife, Julie, had been after me for several weeks to paint the seat on our toilet.

Finally, I got around to doing it while Julie was out.

After finishing, I left to take care of another matter before she returned.

She came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting in the shower, she sat on the toilet.

As she tried to stand up, she realized that the not-quite-dry epoxy paint had glued her to the toilet seat.

About that time, I got home and realized her predicament.

We both pushed and pulled without any success whatsoever. Finally, in desperation, I undid the toilet seat bolts.

Julie wrapped a sheet around herself and I drove her to the hospital emergency room.

The ER Doctor got her into a position where he could study how to free her (Try to get a mental picture of this).

Julie tried to lighten the embarrassment of it all by saying, "Well, Doctor, I'll bet you've never seen anything like this before."

The Doctor replied, "Actually, I've seen lots of them...... I just never saw one mounted and framed."

Everything's A-OK! Baby gives thumbs up!

Cool! Baby gives thumbs up during ultrasound

Thursday, October 18, 2018

Flash Mob: The U.S. Air Force Band at the Smithsonian

Let me Google that for you.


1. The most important occupant of your brood box can lay about how many eggs per day?


I don't know. Google it.

One way to find the answer:

Go to Google and search [brood box] and find articles on beekeeping that reveal that a brood box is a hive box used to raise honeybees. Search [hive brood box] and find that a hive’s brood box is where a queen bee lays her eggs. Search [number eggs queen bee] and find many articles with estimates ranging from _______ to _______ eggs per day.

2. One of Britain’s greatest naval commanders lost one arm and sight in one eye but never shook this incurable vocational sickness. What did he suffer from throughout his life whenever he worked?


I don't know. Google it.

One way to find the answer:

Go to Google and search [British naval commander lost arm and eye] to find Horatio Nelson. Search [Horatio Nelson sickness] to learn he suffered from _____________.


3. After coining the term radioactive, a well-known female scientist discovered two radioactive elements, one of which you can find easily in cigarette smoke. What is that element?

I don't know. Google it.

Go to Google and search [coined term radioactive] to find Marie Curie. Search [Marie Curie discovered] to learn that in 1898 she discovered both radium and __________. Search [__________ in cigarettes] to confirm that the answer is __________. Radium also occurs in cigarette smoke, but only in trace amounts.


Wise Words


Be Wise
Be Wise!Qualities

You attract people by the qualities that you display and you keep people by the qualities that you possess.


Be Wise!Human Spirit

The human spirit lives on creativity and dies in conformity and routine.

Be Wise!Loving your parents

Don’t wait for Mother or Father’s day to show your love and gratitude to your parents.

Be Wise!Responsibility

Some, given the scepter of responsibility, confuse it with the club of authority.

Be Wise!Creative lives

"To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong."

--Joseph Chilton Pierce


Be Wise!Oven racks cleaning made easy

Lay the oven rack on an old towel in the bathtub. Cover them with warm water and some ammonia, let it sit a while, the job will be much easier.

Be Wise!Beautiful Hair

Many things in your diet help to achieve healthy hair, and one of the important nutrients are biotins. Biotins can be found in foods like lentils, peas, brewer´s yeast, brown rice, soybeans, oats, walnuts, and sunflower seeds. You can also take biotin as a supplement via capsule form.

Be Wise!Bunch O' Honey

Honey just might be the pre-exercise energy source. Honey has been found as a better pre-exercise carbohydrate than other sweet treats used to energize, such as candy and soft drinks. Studies show that eating as little as 3 tablespoons of honey an hour before you workout can keep you from losing steam during your workout. Honey seems to give you more energy flow than other sugars do.

Be Wise!Building Endurance

If you want to walk or jog for longer periods of time without getting fatigued, continue with a weight-lifting routine.

Lifting weights not only builds strong muscles, but also can improve your aerobic capacity. Improving your aerobic endurance level will enable you to walk, bike, swim, or jog for longer periods of time before exhausting yourself.


Be Wise!QUOTE: Persistence, Calvin Coolidge

"Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'press on' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race."

-Calvin Coolidge


Be Wise!Participation/Happiness

"Do it! Move it! Make it happen! No one ever sat their way to success, but remember, success is getting what you want. Happiness is liking what you get.

--H. Jackson Brown (paraphrased)

It's a cloud eat cloud world out there...

by David Huyck

Always trust a Nun to do the right thing

A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, 'Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later.'

The nun agreed. A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, Sister, have you seen a soldier?'

The nun replied, 'He went that-a-way.'

After the MP's ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, 'I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't want to go to Syria ...'

The nun said, 'I understand completely.'

The soldier added, 'I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!'

The nun replied, 'Thank you. If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls too ....I don't want to go to Syria either !!

man in Nun habit

Here it is October 17...

and here is The Wizard outside today.
21*C WOW!

Wednesday, October 17, 2018

Happy Cannabis Day

Well, for better or worse today is the day that cannabis (aka Marijuana) became legal in Canada. I don't agree with it. This is all I'm going to say about that.
How it went down

Cliff Hanger!! How Awesome!

HOW AWESOME IS THIS?

The bar is set higher and higher for awesome African game shots that we are privileged to see!

Clinging on for dear life to the side of a vertical cliff, the tiny lion cub cries out pitifully for help. His mother arrives at the edge of the precipice with three other lionesses and a male. The females start to clamber down together but turn back daunted by the sheer drop.

Eventually one single factor determines which of them will risk her life to save the youngster..... – motherly love.

* * *

The drama begins: The mother arrives at the edge of the cliff as her son cries out for rescue after being trapped when he slipped...

Lions saving a lion

On the brink: Four lionesses look over the edge before aborting their rescue mission because of the sheer drop...

Lions saving a lion

Slowly, agonizingly, the big cat edges her way down towards her terrified son, using her powerful claws to grip the crumbling cliff side...

Lions saving a lion

One slip from her and both animals could end up dead at the bottom of the ravine.

Just as the exhausted cub seems about to fall, his mother circles beneath him and he is snatched up in her jaws...

Lions saving a lion

She then begins the equally perilous journey back to the top. Minutes later, they arrive and she gives the frightened creature a consoling lick on the head...

Lions saving a lion

The dramatic rescue, captured by wildlife photographer Jean-Francois Largot, was played out in Kenya’s Masai Mara game reserve.

Despite the presence of wardens to deter poachers, day-to-day life for the lions is not without its dangers … as the cub learned the hard way.

Rescue mission: The mother inches her way down the cliff face to rescue the terrified cub before locking him in her jaws and making her way back up the cliff face.

Motherly love: The mother gives her son a lick to say that all is well in the pride following the drama.

HOW AWESOME IS THIS? Amazing!!

Deathbed Wishes...

Morris Schwartz is on his deathbed, knows the end is near, is with his nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons.

"So", he says to them:

"Bernie, I want you to take the Beverly Hills houses."

"Sybil, take the apartments over in Los Angeles Plaza."

"Hymie, I want you to take the offices over in City Center."

"Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings downtown."

The nurse is just blown away by all this, and as Morris slips away, she says, "Mrs. Schwartz, your husband must have been such a hardworking man to have accumulated all this property".

Sarah replies, "Property? The putz has a paper route!"

How well did Ford do with it's "1981 World Car"

1981 Ford World Car
1981 Ford Escort
2014 Ford Escort
2014 Ford Escort
You decide?

For those who fly....

A man is alone in an airport lounge. A beautiful woman walks in and sits down at the table next to him.

He decides, because she's wearing a uniform, she's probably an off-duty flight attendant. So he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies with, thereby impressing her greatly....

He leans across to her and says the British Airways motto, "To Fly. To Serve?"

The woman looks at him blankly. He sits back and thinks up another line. He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto, "Winning the hearts of the world!"

Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face. Undeterred, he tries again, this time saying the Malaysian Airlines motto, "Going beyond expectations!"

The woman looks at him sternly and states, "What the fuck do you want?"

"Aha!" he says,




"Air Canada"

The More You Know...

Learn something new every day!! Found on the internet:


A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue.

A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

A snail can sleep for three years.

Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.

All 50 US states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the US $5 bill.

Almonds are a member of the peach family.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.

Butterflies taste with their feet.

Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. Dogs only have about 10.

"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt."

February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

If the population of China walked past you, in single file the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

If you are an average American, in your whole life, you will spend an average of 6 months waiting at red lights.

It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.

Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.

On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag. NOPE! The flag flying over the centre block of the Parliament buildings was not an American flag, but the Red Ensign (which, although it was never Canada's official flag, served as Canada's recognized flag before being replaced by the Maple Leaf Flag in 1965)

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

Peanuts are one of the ingredients in dynamite.

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

"Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand; "lollipop" with your right.

The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.

The Bible does not say there were three wise men; it only says there were three gifts.

The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.

The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter of the alphabet.

The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.

The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes).

There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

There are more chickens than people in the world.

There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: "abstemious" and "facetious."

There's no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewables Vitamins.

Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks; otherwise it will digest itself.

Now you know everything!

The Caramilk Secret

Click above

'OZ' is celebrating 4,000,000 Visitors!

Thanks to all my loyal readers!
The Wizard is humbled.


Click here

Tuesday, October 16, 2018

Harnessing The Power Of Pumpkin

(NBC News) - (10/16/18) Pumpkin spice season is upon us.

Sadly, there's no real pumpkin in most pumpkin spice lattes. In fact, pumpkin flavored coffee drinks can contain 12 teaspoons of sugar.

It's the real gourd that will get you health benefits.

Pumpkin is a nutrition powerhouse, packed with Vitamin A and potassium, and the seeds hidden inside are full of fiber, magnesium and zinc.

Dietitians have linked pumpkin with proper digestion and a stronger immune system, and that brilliant orange color is thanks to beta carotene and other antioxidants, essential for healthy eyes.

Of course, wrangling a real pumpkin into the kitchen is pretty labor-intensive. Fortunately, you can get the same benefits from a can. Just make sure the label says "100 percent pumpkin."

The puree can easily be mixed into pancake batter, muffins, smoothies and soups.

Read more

Things are a little different in Canada, eh?

Things are a little different in Canada, eh?

Sixteen reasons why airplanes are easier to live with than women

1) Airplanes usually kill you quickly - a woman takes her time.


2) Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of a switch.

3) Airplanes don't get mad if you do a "touch and go."


4) Airplanes don't object to a preflight inspection.




5) Airplanes come with manuals to explain their operation.

6) Airplanes have strict weight and balance limitations.


7) Airplanes can be flown any time of the month.

8) Airplanes don't come with in-laws.

9) Airplanes don't care about how many other airplanes you've flown before.


10) Airplanes and pilots both arrive at the same time.


11) Airplanes don't mind if you look at other airplanes.


12) Airplanes don't mind if you buy airplane magazines.

13) Airplanes expect to be tied down.


14) Airplanes don't comment on your piloting skills.

15) Airplanes don't whine unless something is really wrong.


16) However, when airplanes go quiet, just like women, it's usually not good.