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Monday, February 20, 2017

Ever had one of these days?



Click here.

Dogs Don't Use PC's because...

Dog on a pc
Can't stick their heads out of Windows

Fetch command not available on all platforms

Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side

No way to "mark" every website they visit in the normal manner

Can't help attacking the screen when they hear "You've Got Mail"

Fire hydrant icon simply frustrating

Involuntary tail wagging a giveaway they're browsing www.pethouse.com

Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG frisbee

Can't stand that stupid Chuckwagon Screen Saver

No emoticon that signifies tail-wagging

Waiting for the introduction of the Microsoft Opposable Thumb

Three words: "Carpal Paw Syndrome"

Cause dogs ain't Geeks! Now, cats, on the other hand...

Barking in next cube keeps activating voice recognition software

SmellU-SmellMe still in beta test

FTP connection signals sound too much like a doorbell

Annoyed by lack of newsgroup, alt.pictures.masters.leg

Butt-sniffing more direct and less deceiving than online chat rooms

Software "Bells" aren't bad, but the "Whistles" are distracting

Sunday, February 19, 2017

LEARN WOMEN'S ENGLISH

Yes = No

No = Yes

Maybe = No

I'm sorry = You'll be sorry

We need = I want

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later

We need to talk = I need to complain

Sure ... go ahead = I don't want you to

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot

You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house

I want new curtains = ... and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper

Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep

Do you love me = I'm going to ask for something expensive

How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like

I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV

Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful

You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

I'm not yelling = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important

Woman Running Scared

Things That Make You Say... "HOLY SH*T!"

Beer Lady
Beer Lady

Big Snake!
Big Snake!

Fish in the sink
Fish in the sink

Engine trouble
Engine trouble

Joint and a half!
Joint and a half!

Big Cat!
Big Cat!

Can't hear ya!
Can't hear ya!

Just plain gross!
Just plain gross!

Rose Coloured Glasses

So, you say I see the world through Rose coloured glasses?
Perhaps, I should look at it through Green.....
green for all the jealousy that occurs when people are envious of another's accomplishments.
Or maybe red.....yeah! Red.....
to see all the anger people have and express and hurt others with.
Or maybe Black.....
black so I can hide behind this colour and choose not to see at all.
No I think I'd like Yellow.....
yellow to amplify the sun's rays on the beauty that nature provides.
Or just maybe rose. I think rose is a nice colour.
Rose.....
like a child with rosey cheeks from the cool breath of winter,
or a baby with rosey cheeks who's just awakened from a long nap.
Rose......
rose is a nice colour, it's simple.
And a rose is a most beautiful thing on this earth to see.
So why do you not look
through Rose Coloured Glasses?
Could it be you're afraid to see the
beauty of your world.


--Tina Thurston 1998.

Brain Freeze

Brain Freeze

Try Your Luck!

1. Guess! 2. Guess! 3. Guess!







Answers:

1. "Shotgun"
2. "In One Fell Swoop"
3. "Repeat after me"

Saturday, February 18, 2017

Chinese Zodiac predictions for 2017

 click here to go to MSN
Click above to go to MSN

Quiz Me! - Marvellous Movies!

all about Movies
Answers are below. Grab yer pencils!
Quiz

1. Not even an Oscar could be included in a list of things money can't buy: Whose Oscar, won for playing a glamorous Southern belle, sold in 1994 for more than $500,000?
Katharine Hepburn
Vivien Leigh
Renee Jones
Annette Funicello

#2. For which 2007 musical film did John Travolta get in touch with his feminine side, in order to play the voluptuous Edna Turnblad?
Moulin Rouge!
Grease
Hairspray
Saturday Night Fever

#3. What is a movie preview?
cartoon shown before a movie
another version of a movie
the making of a movie
trailer shown of a movie feature

#4. Which Ridley Scott film includes the memorable quote, 'Are you not entertained?', issued by the lead character to the baying crowd?
Kingdom of Heaven
American Gangster
Hannibal
Gladiator

#5. In the 1990 film 'Pretty Woman', Vivian (Julia Roberts) sends an item of food flying in an upmarket restaurant whilst exclaiming "slippery little suckers!" What is it she is eating and 'throws' at a nearby waiter?
L'escargot (snails)
Cockles
Frog's legs
Meatballs

#6. In the 2012/13 release movie 'Lincoln', who plays Abe?
Hugh Grant
Nicolas Cage
Daniel Day-Lewis
Billy Bob Thornton

#7. What is the ursine named character portrayed by James Gandolfini in the film, "Get Shorty"?
Rabbit
Bear
Hedgehog
Zebra

#8. For what role did 80 year old Jessica Tandy receive a Best Actress Oscar?
Lydia Brenner in "The Birds"
Alma Finley in "Cocoon"
Daisy Werthan in "Driving Miss Daisy"
Beryl Peoples in "Nobody's Fool"

#9. The movie "Apocalypse Now" deals with the effects that war can have on people. However which war did the film's events cover?
American Civil War
World War 2
Vietnam War
World War 1

#10. In Disney's "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs," which of the seven dwarfs wore glasses?
Doc
Squinty
Happy
Grumpy

answers

Answers

1. Not even an Oscar could be included in a list of things money can't buy: Whose Oscar, won for playing a glamorous Southern belle, sold in 1994 for more than $500,000?

Answer: Vivien Leigh
The Best Actress Oscar that Leigh won for playing Scarlett O'Hara in "Gone With The Wind" (1939) sold for $563,000 at Sotheby's in New York. She also won an Oscar for "A Streetcar Named Desire" (1951).

2. For which 2007 musical film did John Travolta get in touch with his feminine side, in order to play the voluptuous Edna Turnblad?

Answer: Hairspray
John Travolta donned a wig and a dress in order to play the role of Edna Turnblad, in the 2007 remake of the musical film, "Hairspray". The plot of the film revolves around Tracy Turnblad, an overweight high school student who dreams of dancing on "The Corny Collins Show". After catching the eye of Corny Collins himself, Tracy's dream of dancing on television comes true. There are, however, plenty of ups and downs for her to overcome along the way.

Although renowned for spending a great deal of time deliberating over film scripts, Travolta made his mind up about "Hairspray" pretty quickly. As he told the "New York Times", he didn't want "it to be 'John Travolta plays Edna.' That's not interesting. It had to be something" which he "could go all the way with, disappear in".

3. What is a movie preview?

Answer: trailer shown of a movie feature
Previews are usually shown before a movie is released. Previews are shown before other movies at the theater or on video rentals prior to the film release.

4. Which Ridley Scott film includes the memorable quote, 'Are you not entertained?', issued by the lead character to the baying crowd?

Answer: Gladiator
After putting a rival gladiator to the sword, a bitter and frustrated Maximus demands of the crowd, 'Are you not entertained? Is this not why you are here?'. In response, the fervent masses chant, 'Spaniard, Spaniard'.

5. In the 1990 film 'Pretty Woman', Vivian (Julia Roberts) sends an item of food flying in an upmarket restaurant whilst exclaiming "slippery little suckers!" What is it she is eating and 'throws' at a nearby waiter?

Answer: L'escargot (snails)
The waiter deftly replies that "it happens all the time" - unlikely! Vivian also proceeds to requesting ketchup with her meal and etiquette lessons in which cutlery to use, much to the amusement of her 'date', Edward (Richard Gere).

6. In the 2012/13 release movie 'Lincoln', who plays Abe?

Answer: Daniel Day-Lewis
Hugh Grant played the British PM in 'Love Actually'. Billy Bob Thornton played the visiting US President in the same film. Nicolas Cage had nothing to do with any of them, but he can do a serious role!

7. What is the ursine named character portrayed by James Gandolfini in the film, "Get Shorty"?

Answer: Bear
James Gandolfini sadly passed away on June 19th, 2013. He was a prolific actor in films and television. Gandolfini played the character of Bear in the film, "Get Shorty". However, he is more well known for his portrayal of the ruthless mobster, Tony Soprano.
Gandolfini's role as Bear in "Get Shorty" is not that much of a departure from his other gangster-related roles. Bear is both a stuntman and a reluctant gangster/enforcer, hence the character fit in well with the film's comedy/crime theme.

8. For what role did 80 year old Jessica Tandy receive a Best Actress Oscar?

Answer: Daisy Werthan in "Driving Miss Daisy"
Gregory Peck handed Miss Tandy her Oscar at the 62nd Academy Award Ceremony in 1990. Miss Tandy won for her role as Daisy Werthan in "Driving Miss Daisy". Her speech began with "I never expected in a million years that I would be in this position. It's a miracle."

9. The movie "Apocalypse Now" deals with the effects that war can have on people. However which war did the film's events cover?

Answer: Vietnam War
"Apocalypse Now" was released in 1979, and was directed by Francis Coppola. The lead hero was Martin Sheen as Captain Benjamin L Willard. During the Vietnam War, in the year 1969, he got assigned the top secret mission of terminating (which actually meant killing) the rogue Colonel Kurtz, by his superiors. Colonel Kurtz, played by Marlon Brando, had gone insane and had installed himself as the god of the natives in the jungles of the neighboring country of Cambodia. Colonel Kurtz was primarily guilty of the murder of four South Vietnamese Intelligence agents. The film shows us Captain Willard's triumph over Colonel Kurtz and also the gruesome realities of war along the way.
"Apocalypse Now" was nominated at the 52nd Academy Awards for Best Picture in 1980.
Also in 2001, Mr Francis Coppola released "Apocalypse Now Redux", which had an additional 49 minutes that were cut from the original film due to budgetary constraints.

10. In Disney's "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs," which of the seven dwarfs wore glasses?

Answer: Doc
Voiced by Roy Atwell in the 1937 animated feature. Even though the Disney people describe him as "often losing his train of thought and bumbling around," Doc was the self-proclaimed leader of the seven Dwarfs.

When you leave baby with Dad

QUIZ ME! - Seeing Stars!

all about Stars
Answers are below. Grab yer pencils!
Quiz

1. In 2009 what famous American actor died from pancreatic cancer?
Patrick Swayze
George Clooney
Matt Damon
Brad Pitt

#2. Which actor, best known as The Fonz, from the TV show "Happy Days", is a New York Times bestselling author for his series of children's stories?
Henry Winkler
Penny Marshall
Ron Howard
Lin Oliver

#3. What Long Island Piano Man, born May 9, 1949 in The Bronx, once aspired to become a boxer before he turned toward a music career?
Billy Joel
Antoine "Fats" Domino
Harry Connick Jr
Liberace

#4. Which of these famous actors with the first name 'Michael' is a woman?
Michael Crawford
Michael Douglas
Michael J. Fox
Michael Learned

#5. Which actress/comedienne, known for her sharp humor, died in September of 2014?
Joan Rivers
Rosie O'Donnell
Lucille Ball
Tina Fey

#6. What actor had the birth name Krishna Pandit Bhanji?
Matt Damon
Ben Kingsley
Troy Donahue
Chevy Chase

#7. What first name do Hollywood actors Travolta, Barrymore, Stamos and Ritter have in common?
Jerry
James
John
Jason

#8. Which of the following was NOT a comedy double-act?
Laurel and Hardy
Abbott and Costello
Morecambe and Wise
Marks and Spencer

#9. Johnny Depp is a popular, versatile actor. In which of these films did he have several teeth capped with gold?
Secret Window
Chocolat
Finding Neverland
Pirates of the Caribbean:The Curse of the Black Pearl

#10. Billie Dove was a popular movie star in the 1920s. She was also an accomplished pilot. Bearing that in mind, who was her fiancé and romantic interest for three years?
Howard Hughes
Michael Gosling
Bruce Spruce
Michael Johnson

answers

Answers

1. In 2009 what famous American actor died from pancreatic cancer?

Answer: Patrick Swayze
Patrick Swayze died in 2009 at the age of just 57. He was made famous by his roles in "Dirty Dancing" in 1987 and "Ghost" in 1990.

2. Which actor, best known as The Fonz, from the TV show "Happy Days", is a New York Times bestselling author for his series of children's stories?

Answer: Henry Winkler
Henry Winkler and Lin Oliver are bestselling authors of a series of 19 short stories designed for slow readers, published by Scholastic, Inc. Ron Howard was Richie in the TV Show, "Happy Days". Penny Marshall played the role of Laverne in the "Laverne and Shirley" TV show. Lin Oliver is the co-author with Henry Winkler of the 19 published children's stories.

3. What Long Island Piano Man, born May 9, 1949 in The Bronx, once aspired to become a boxer before he turned toward a music career?

Answer: Billy Joel
Tired of being bullied, Joel became a boxer winning 22 bouts in a row before losing two. He turned to music after losing his last two bouts and suffering a broken nose in his final fight. In 1999 he was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

4. Which of these famous actors with the first name 'Michael' is a woman?

Answer: Michael Learned
Michael Learned is an American actress, originally from Washington, D.C. She is most famous for playing Olivia Walton in the 1970s programme "The Waltons".

5. Which actress/comedienne, known for her sharp humor, died in September of 2014?

Answer: Joan Rivers
Born June 8th, 1933, Joan Rivers was sometimes called 'Queen of the Barbed One-liners'. Her acerbic wit made her a polarizing figure. She suffered complications which caused her to go into cardiac arrest while undergoing throat procedures in hospital and died September 4th, 2014.

6. What actor had the birth name Krishna Pandit Bhanji?

Answer: Ben Kingsley
Like Barack Obama, Ben Kingsley was born to a white mother and Kenyan father. Ben's father was of Indian Muslim descent.

7. What first name do Hollywood actors Travolta, Barrymore, Stamos and Ritter have in common?

Answer: John
John Travolta is an actor, dancer and singer. John Barrymore was a legendary stage and screen actor in the early 1900s. John Stamos is a television actor, singer and musician. John Ritter was an actor and comedian.

8. Which of the following was NOT a comedy double-act?

Answer: Marks and Spencer
Marks and Spencer is a British retailer, selling mostly clothing and foodstuffs, founded in 1884 by Michael Marks and Thomas Spencer. Stan Laurel (1890-1965) and Oliver Hardy (1892-1957) starred in almost 100 films together, mostly in the 1920s and 30s, while Bud Abbott (1895-1974) and Lou Costello (1906-1959) were popular in the 1940s and 50s. Eric Morecambe (1926-84) and Ernie Wise (1925-99) were a British double-act best-known for their TV shows in the 1970s and 80s.

9. Johnny Depp is a popular, versatile actor. In which of these films did he have several teeth capped with gold?

Answer: Pirates of the Caribbean:The Curse of the Black Pearl
This film introduced us to Captain Jack Sparrow, a conniving yet somehow appealing pirate. Sparrow is seeking to regain The Black Pearl, his beloved ship, stolen from him by mutinying crewmen who went on to purloin cursed Aztec gold. Johnny Depp took the character and just ran away with it, creating an absolutely original individual who was so quirky that The Powers That Be worried about their investment in the first film. In a clever bartering ploy, Depp went to the extent of having more teeth gold-plated before the filming than he really wanted, so that he could "compromise" by returning some of them to normal. Fortunately for all, his take on the role ended up a huge success. "Captain Jack Sparrow is like a cross between Keith Richards and Pepe Le Pew," Depp said of the character.

10. Billie Dove was a popular movie star in the 1920s. She was also an accomplished pilot. Bearing that in mind, who was her fiancé and romantic interest for three years?

Answer: Howard Hughes
Billie Dove was born Bertha Bohny on May 14, 1903 in New York City; and died December 31, 1997, aged 94. She had many admirers, the most persistent of whom was movie mogul, aviator and reclusive eccentric Howard Hughes, who cast her in a few of his movies. Their three-year romance - and engagement to marry - ended when she left him without ever giving cause. Her Hollywood Walk of Fame star is located at 6351 Hollywood Blvd.

Friday, February 17, 2017

A Dark Brown Dog

by Stephen Crane

A Dark-Brown dog and the accompanying illustrations were published in Cosmopolitan, March 1901. The story was probably written in the summer of 1893.

A Child was standing on a street-corner. He leaned with one shoulder against a high board-fence and swayed the other to and fro, the while kicking carelessly at the gravel.

Sunshine beat upon the cobbles, and a lazy summer wind raised yellow dust which trailed in clouds down the avenue. Clattering trucks moved with indistinctness through it. The child stood dreamily gazing.

After a time, a little dark-brown dog came trotting with an intent air down the sidewalk. A short rope was dragging from his neck. Occasionally he trod upon the end of it and stumbled.

He stopped opposite the child, and the two regarded each other. The dog hesitated for a moment, but presently he made some little advances with his tail. The child put out his hand and called him. In an apologetic manner the dog came close, and the two had an interchange of friendly pattings and waggles. The dog became more enthusiastic with each moment of the interview, until with his gleeful caperings he threatened to overturn the child. Whereupon the child lifted his hand and struck the dog a blow upon the head.

This thing seemed to overpower and astonish the little dark-brown dog, and wounded him to the heart. He sank down in despair at the child's feet. When the blow was repeated, together with an admonition in childish sentences, he turned over upon his back, and held his paws in a peculiar manner. At the same time with his ears and his eyes he offered a small prayer to the child.

Presently he struggled to his feet and started after the child.He looked so comical on his back, and holding his paws

peculiarly, that the child was greatly amused and gave him little taps repeatedly, to keep him so. But the little dark-brown dog took this chastisement in the most serious way, and no doubt considered that he had committed some grave crime, for he wriggled contritely and showed his repentance in every way that was in his power. He pleaded with the child and petitioned him, and offered more prayers.

At last the child grew weary of this amusement and turned toward home. The dog was praying at the time. He lay on his back and turned his eyes upon the retreating form.

Presently he struggled to his feet and started after the child. The latter wandered in a perfunctory way toward his home, stopping at times to investigate various matters. During one of these pauses he discovered the little dark-brown dog who was following him with the air of a footpad.

The child beat his pursuer with a small stick he had found. The dog lay down and prayed until the child had finished, and resumed his journey. Then he scrambled erect and took up the pursuit again.

On the way to his home the child turned many times and beat the dog, proclaiming with childish gestures that he held him in contempt as an unimportant dog, with no value save for a moment. For being this quality of animal the dog apologized and eloquently expressed regret, but he continued stealthily to follow the child. His manner grew so very guilty that he slunk like an assassin.

When the child reached his door-step, the dog was industriously ambling a few yards in the rear. He became so agitated with shame when he again confronted the child that he forgot the dragging rope. He tripped upon it and fell forward.

The child sat down on the step and the two had another interview. During it the dog greatly exerted himself to please the child. He performed a few gambols with such abandon that the child suddenly saw him to be a valuable thing. He made a swift, avaricious charge and seized the rope.

He dragged his captive into a hall and up many long stairways in a dark tenement. The dog made willing efforts, but he could not hobble very skillfully up the stairs because he was very small and soft, and at last the pace of the engrossed child grew so energetic that the dog became panic-stricken. In his mind he was being dragged toward a grim unknown. His eyes grew wild with the terror of it. He began to wiggle his head frantically and to brace his legs.

The child redoubled his exertions. They had a battle on the stairs. The child was victorious because he was completely absorbed in his purpose, and because the dog was very small. He dragged his acquirement to the door of his home, and finally with triumph across the threshold.

Presently he struggled to his feet and started after the child.No one was in. The child sat down on the floor and made overtures to the dog. These the dog
instantly accepted. He beamed with affection upon his new friend. In a short time they were firm and abiding comrades.

When the child's family appeared, they made a great row. The dog was examined and commented upon and called names. Scorn was leveled at him from all eyes, so that he became much embarrassed and drooped like a scorched plant. But the child went sturdily to the center of the floor, and, at the top of his voice, championed the dog. It happened that he was roaring protestations, with his arms clasped about the dog's neck, when the father of the family came in from work.

The parent demanded to know what the blazes they were making the kid howl for. It was explained in many words that the infernal kid wanted to introduce a disreputable dog into the family.

A family council was held. On this depended the dog's fate, but he in no way heeded, being busily engaged in chewing the end of the child's dress.

The affair was quickly ended. The father of the family, it appears, was in a particularly savage temper that evening, and when he perceived that it would amaze and anger everybody if such a dog were allowed to remain, he decided that it should be so. The child, crying softly, took his friend off to a retired part of the room to hobnob with him, while the father quelled a fierce rebellion of his wife. So it came to pass that the dog was a member of the household.

He and the child were associated together at all times save when the child slept. The child became a guardian and a friend. If the large folk kicked the dog and threw things at him, the child made loud and violent objections. Once when the child had run, protesting loudly, with tears raining down his face and his arms outstretched, to protect his friend, he had been struck in the head with a very large saucepan from the hand of his father, enraged at some seeming lack of courtesy in the dog. Ever after, the family were careful how they threw things at the dog. Moreover, the latter grew very skilful in avoiding missiles and feet. In a small room containing a stove, a table, a bureau and some chairs, he would display strategic ability of a high order, dodging, feinting and scuttling about among the furniture. He could force three or four people armed with brooms, sticks and handfuls of coal, to use all their ingenuity to get in a blow. And even when they did, it was seldom that they could do him a serious injury or leave any imprint.

But when the child was present, these scenes did not occur. It came to be recognized that if the dog was molested, the child would burst into sobs, and as the child, when started, was very riotous and practically unquenchable, the dog had therein a safeguard.

However, the child could not always be near. At night, when he was asleep, his dark-brown friend would raise from some black corner a wild, wailful cry, a song of infinite lowliness and despair, that would go shuddering and sobbing among the buildings of the block and cause people to swear. At these times the singer would often be chased all over the kitchen and hit with a great variety of articles.

Sometimes, too, the child himself used to beat the dog, although it is not known that he ever had what could be truly called a just cause. The dog always accepted these thrashings with an air of admitted guilt. He was too much of a dog to try to look to be a martyr or to plot revenge. He received the blows with deep humility, and furthermore he forgave his friend the moment the child had finished, and was ready to caress the child's hand with his little red tongue.

When misfortune came upon the child, and his troubles overwhelmed him, he would often crawl under the table and lay his small distressed head on the dog's back. The dog was ever sympathetic. It is not to be supposed that at such times he took occasion to refer to the unjust beatings his friend, when provoked, had administered to him.

He did not achieve any notable degree of intimacy with the other members of the family. He had no confidence in them, and the fear that he would express at their casual approach often exasperated them exceedingly. They used to gain a certain satisfaction in underfeeding him, but finally his friend the child grew to watch the matter with some care, and when he forgot it, the dog was often successful in secret for himself.

So the dog prospered. He developed a large bark, which came wondrously from such a small rug of a dog. He ceased to howl persistently at night. Sometimes, indeed, in his sleep, he would utter little yells, as from pain, but that occurred, no doubt, when in his dreams he encountered huge flaming dogs who threatened him direfully.

His devotion to the child grew until it was a sublime thing. He wagged at his approach; he sank down in despair at his departure. He could detect the sound of the child's step among all the noises of the neighborhood. It was like a calling voice to him.

The scene of their companionship was a kingdom governed by this terrible potentate, the child; but neither criticism nor rebellion ever lived for an instant in the heart of the one subject. Down in the mystic, hidden fields of his little dog-soul bloomed flowers of love and fidelity and perfect faith.

The child was in the habit of going on many expeditions to observe strange things in the vicinity. On these occasions his friend usually jogged aimfully along behind. Perhaps, though, he went ahead. This necessitated his turning around every quarter-minute to make sure the child was coming. He was filled with a large idea of the importance of these journeys. He would carry himself with such an air! He was proud to be the retainer of so great a monarch.

One day, however, the father of the family got quite exceptionally drunk. He came home and held carnival with the cooking utensils, the furniture and his wife. He was in the midst of this recreation when the child, followed by the dark-brown dog, entered the room. They were returning from their voyages.

He was the picture of a little dark-brown dog en route to a friend.The child's practised eye
instantly noted his father's state. He dived under the table, where experience had taught him was a rather safe place. The dog, lacking skill in such matters, was, of course, unaware of the true condition of affairs. He looked with interested eyes at his friend's sudden dive. He interpreted it to mean: Joyous gambol. He started to patter across the floor to join him. He was the picture of a little dark-brown dog en route to a friend.

The head of the family saw him at this moment. He gave a huge howl of joy, and knocked the dog down with a heavy coffee-pot. The dog, yelling in supreme astonishment and fear, writhed to his feet and ran for cover. The man kicked out with a ponderous foot. It caused the dog to swerve as if caught in a tide. A second blow of the coffee-pot laid him upon the floor.

Here the child, uttering loud cries, came valiantly forth like a knight. The father of the family paid no attention to these calls of the child, but advanced with glee upon the dog. Upon being knocked down twice in swift succession, the latter apparently gave up all hope of escape. He rolled over on his back and held his paws in a peculiar manner. At the same time with his eyes and his ears he offered up a small prayer.

But the father was in a mood for having fun, and it occurred to him that it would be a fine thing to throw the dog out of the window. So he reached down and grabbing the animal by a leg, lifted him, squirming, up. He swung him two or three times hilariously about his head, and then flung him with great accuracy through the window.

The soaring dog created a surprise in the block. A woman watering plants in an opposite window gave an involuntary shout and dropped a flower-pot. A man in another window leaned perilously out to watch the flight of the dog. A woman, who had been hanging out clothes in a yard, began to caper wildly. Her mouth was filled with clothes-pins, but her arms gave vent to a sort of exclamation. In appearance she was like a gagged prisoner. Children ran whooping.

The dark-brown body crashed in a heap on the roof of a shed five stories below. From thence it rolled to the pavement of an alleyway.

The child in the room far above burst into a long, dirgelike cry, and toddled hastily out of the room. It took him a long time to reach the alley, because his size compelled him to go downstairs backward, one step at a time, and holding with both hands to the step above....they found him seated by the body of his dark-brown friend.

When they came for him later, they found him seated by the body of his dark-brown
friend.

My Rock (My Mom)

Sometimes I catch myself
Thinking, "When I phone,
I can talk of this or that!"
Then remember, I'm alone.

She was always there
To answer my calls -
To listen to my "small talk"
Or when I climbed the walls.

At times, I didn't feel like talking
And somehow, she understood -
Didn't say she wished I'd call
Or make me feel like I should.

Now, I wish I would have
More times, to show I cared -
To say, just how important
Were, all those times we shared.

I could have shown my love
So much more than I did -
I never, did it enough
Even when I was a kid.

Now it's too late to do or say
All those things I wish I had -
No way to ease the pain inside
When my heart is sad.

She was my "anchor" to this life -
The "rock", that I clung to -
The place, where I could turn
When, nowhere else would do.
Now, the ravages of time
Have worn my "rock" away -
And all I have to cling to
Are memories of yesterday.


In Passing

My Mom

Sometimes Mom in passing
Would pat you on the back
And sometimes in passing
She'd show you the right track.

Sometimes Mom in passing
Would say, "You sure look nice!"
And sometimes in passing
She could, make you, think twice.

Sometimes Mom in passing
Would lightly touch your hair
And sometimes in passing
She'd show you what was fair.

Sometimes Mom in passing
Would ask, "What do you mean?"
And sometimes in passing
She would get in between.

Sometimes Mom in passing
Would give you, "that look"
And sometimes in passing
Would give you what it took.

But this time, Mom is passing
From this world to the best
And this time in passing
She'll pass the final test.

And when Mom has passed
And the pain is so unkind
Just look and you'll find her
There in your heart and mind.



Missing You, Mom

My Mom

Mom, I miss you so very much
On every Mother’s Day;
And not just then, but every minute,
Since you went away.

You were the center of my life
Before your soul passed on;
It’s just so hard for me to believe
That you are really gone.

But I celebrate the life you lived
And all the things you gave me;
My wonderful memories, Mom, of you
Are the things that will comfort and save me.

Please think of me, as I think of you
With a heart so full of love;
I’m looking up at you, sweet Mom,
As you look at me from above.

Happy Birthday Day, Mom

Nutrition Fiction

Nutrition Fiction - Vitamin C-serpent

QUIZ ME! - Star's Cars!

all about Cars used in Movies
Answers are below. Grab yer pencils!
Quiz

1. "Bullitt" (1968) was an action thriller movie starring Steve McQueen. The film is best known for its car chase in which Frank Bullitt (McQueen) chases two hitmen. What was the iconic car driven by McQueen?
1968 Ford Mustang GT
1967 Chevrolet Camaro
1968 Dodge Charger R/T
1968 Porsche 917


2. "Starsky and Hutch" was an American cop thriller television show that broadcast 93 episodes between 1975 and 1979. Starsky's distinctive car was an integral part of the show. Which car was it?
White Lincoln Continental
Tan Ford Galaxie
Red and white Ford Gran Torino
Green Chevrolet Camaro convertible


3. Two very popular TV shows of the eighties, "Miami Vice" (1985 - 1989) and "Magnum P.I." (1980- 1988) both used the same make of car as integral components of the shows' production values. Which European make of car was common to both TV shows?
Lamborghini
Ferrari
Mercedes
BMW


4. Of course, cars feature highly in popular music, especially iconic brands such as Ford and Chevrolet. From the four options below, three songs feature Chevys. Which song features a Ford?
"Fun, Fun, Fun" The Beach Boys
"American Pie" Don McLean
"Night Moves" Bob Seger
"Crocodile Rock" Elton John


5. The Aston Martin is the quintessential English brand of car associated with the "James Bond" movie franchise. However in the nineties there was a run of three movies featuring which car non-British manufacturer?
Audi
BMW
Fiat
SEAT


6. "Duel" (1971) was a cult movie about an anonymous trucker stalking an everyman across the Californian desert. The car driven was carefully chosen. What type of car was the car owned by David Mann?
1932 yellow Ford Model A Coupe
1971 black XB Ford Falcon GT
1971 silver DeLorean DMC 12
1970 red Plymouth Valiant


7. "Smokey and the Bandit" is a 1977 American action comedy film where the car used is as much the star as Burt Reynolds (The Bandit). What type of car did the Bandit drive?
1977 Pontiac Firebird Trans-Am
1971 Ford Custom 500
1973 Citroën SM
1977 Dodge Sportsman B-200


8. In the 1969 British caper movie "The Italian Job" and its 2003 American re-make, the same type of car was used in both movies. What type of car was used?
Aston Martin

Jeep
Mini
VW Beetle


9. Stephen King's ability to write supernatural thrillers was unmatched by any of his contemporaries. Vehicle manslaughter featured as a common theme. What make and model was the eponymous "Christine"?
1978 off-white Ford Pinto
1970 white Dodge Challenger R/T
1958 red Plymouth Fury
1949 cream Buick Roadmaster


10. Well in a quiz about where the stars are cars, this movie had the entire cast as cars. In 2006, an animated film, "Cars" featured many star names. The role of Doc, a 1951 Hudson was played by which movie superstar in what proved to be his last movie role?
Robert Redford
Paul Newman
Robert Mitchum
Michael J. Fox

answers

Answers

1. "Bullitt" (1968) was an action thriller movie starring Steve McQueen. The film is best known for its car chase in which Frank Bullitt (McQueen) chases two hitmen. What was the iconic car driven by McQueen?


Answer: 1968 Ford Mustang GT
The car chase in "Bullitt" is still something of a benchmark in car chase scenes in movies. Ford provided two 1968 390 V8 Ford Mustang GT fastbacks and two Ford galaxies as the other chase cars but the latter was too heavy for the jump scenes on the hills of San Francisco so two 1968 375 hp 440 Magnum V8-powered Dodge Chargers were substituted. The Mustangs' engines, suspensions and brakes were substantially modified but only the suspensions were modified in the Chargers.
Filming took three weeks for 9 minutes 42 seconds worth of film footage. McQueen was an accomplished driver but he only filmed the close-up scenes. McQueen's 'regular' stuntman (the one that made THAT motorcycle jump in 1963's "The Great Escape"), Bud Ekins, drove the high-speed sections. When watching the movie if the interior rear-view mirror is up, McQueen is driving. If down, Ekins is driving. The driver of the Dodge Charger was a stuntman called Bill Hickman. (He didn't need to remember a lot of lines!)

A 1967 Chevy Camaro featured in another Mr McQueen movie, "The Getaway" (1972) but was not either of the getaway cars that Mr McQueen drove.

A Porsche 917 was the race car that Mr McQueen drove in "Le Mans" (1971) but the car was a 1970 model.


2. "Starsky and Hutch" was an American cop thriller television show that broadcast 93 episodes between 1975 and 1979. Starsky's distinctive car was an integral part of the show. Which car was it?


Answer: Red and white Ford Gran Torino
The main car used on the show were two 1975 351 Windsor V8-powered 2-door Ford Gran Torinos.The cars were modified by adding a distinctive white stripe over the standard red paint. (Paul Michael Glaser [Starsky] referred to the car as the "Striped Tomato" which became embedded in the script but it was Hutch that used this moniker). The back end was lifted with different shock absorbers, and the tyres were mounted so that only the black wall side would be seen and the brand name was hidden from view. Glaser took an instant and long-standing dislike to the car and did not look after it. It was frequently seen in footage running into kerbs and in the fourth season the car(s) showed visible panel damage in several places.

In the 2004 movie remake of the television show, the car used was a 'copy' of the TV show's '75 Gran Torino. In 2008, Clint Eastwood starred and directed "Gran Torino", a car very similar (except paint( to the Striped Tomato.


3. Two very popular TV shows of the eighties, "Miami Vice" (1985 - 1989) and "Magnum P.I." (1980- 1988) both used the same make of car as integral components of the shows' production values. Which European make of car was common to both TV shows?


Answer: Ferrari
"Miami Vice" seasons one and two featured a 1972 Ferrari Daytona Spyder 365 GTS/4 replica on a Chevrolet Camaro C3 chassis. There were actually two of them. Ferrari were offended replicas were used and threatened to sue. In the second season Ferrari donated two (after the shows producers literally blew up the replicas) Testarossa models which were used for the rest of the five year run of the series. However there was a third Testarossa used as a stunt car but it was a replica based on the De Thomaso Pantera (same wheelbase as the Testarossa). The "Daytona" name was never an official designation and was used by the Media to capitalise on the success of the model at the "24 Hours of Daytona" event where the model came first second and third. The Ferraris were Crockett's cars. Tubbs drove a 1974 Cadillac Coupe de Ville convertible.

Magnum drove a series of Ferrari 308 GTS models over the production run (two model upgrades). The cars were targa-topped (as designated by the GTS model designation - the Berlinetta was designated GTB). Actually while Magnum drove the cars they actually belonged to the character of Robin Masters and Magnum was allowed to drive them as well as stay at Robin Masters' estate.


4. Of course, cars feature highly in popular music, especially iconic brands such as Ford and Chevrolet. From the four options below, three songs feature Chevys. Which song features a Ford?


Answer: "Fun, Fun, Fun" The Beach Boys
"Night Moves" (1976) is an autobiographical song by Bob Seger when he was a teenager in Michigan in the sixties. He told the story of having a relationship with a girl who had a a boyfriend away in the military, but he "took liberties" when writing the song. For example: "Out in the back seat of my sixty Chevy" is not quite accurate - Seger had a '62 Chevy; "Started humming a song from 1962" was actually "Be My Baby" by the Ronettes, released in 1963.

Don McLean's "American Pie" (1971) is probably one of the most interpreted songs of all time, being about the plane crash that took so many young rock and roll stars in the 50s. It contains the lines, "Bye, bye Miss American Pie / Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry" The meaning of levee has never been fully explained but it is speculated it is the name of McLean's local bar in New Rochelle, NY. Chevrolet exploited the popularity of their brand in popular music using this song in one of their ads in the early noughties. they took the music connection a step further by running billboards with pictures of Chevrolet Corvettes stating "They don't write songs about Volvos."

McLean noted that Elton John's "Crocodile Rock", which came out a year later, had similar themes to "American Pie": Young people obsessed with Rock and Roll, an era where music "dies", and in this case similar cars ("Drove an ol' gold Chevy"). In "Elton John: The Definitive Biography", Elton John states "I wanted it to be a record about all the things I grew up with. Of course it's a rip-off."

Interestingly, all three songs mention "Chevy" but no models or further description is warranted (Possibly this is intentional, Chevrolet has long been branded as a car for the working class especially young people where used models were cheap to buy and repair)

Conversely, "Fun, Fun, Fun" not just specifies the Ford model, the Thunderbird, but the nickname of same, the "T-bird". There are a few theories about the background to this song but one of the most credible is Howard England owned the Utah radio station KNAK. His daughter Shirley stated that she used to borrow her Dad's T-Bird, and one day got caught taking it to the hamburger drive-in instead of the library. The Beach Boys were frequent visitors at the radio station for promotional appearances, and hearing this story, they wrote the song about the misappropriated T-Bird. The Ford Thunderbird (1955-2005) was an iconic car that sold 4.4 million units. The car was not a sports car but created a new niche in car marketing - the personal luxury car. Marc Cohn also had an autobiographical hit with "Silver Thunderbird" in 1991 following up his bigger hit, "Walking in Memphis".


5. The Aston Martin is the quintessential English brand of car associated with the "James Bond" movie franchise. However in the nineties there was a run of three movies featuring which car non-British manufacturer?


Answer: BMW
Product placement is an important part of movie financing and it has been reported that product placement in the following three movies covered the total cost of making the movies irrespective of income from the movie itself.

In "Goldeneye" (1995), Pierce Brosnan's first Bond film, the featured car was a BMW z3. It only appeared for a couple of minutes. The car was the first non-British car featured in a Bond film. It was powered by a 1.9L four cylinder engine. It was the first roadster built by BMW. While the movie was number one at the US box office the entire 1996 production run of 15 000 sold out. Bond's car was loaded with Stinger missiles and parachute. Also when Bond was introduced to the car, it was listed the car had an ejector seat and self-destruct system but these were never seen in the movie.

In "Tomorrow Never Dies" (1997), a BMW 750iL was used. This car was in production from 1994-2001. It was propelleded by a 5.4L V12 346 hp engine, which was shared with the Rolls-Royce Silver Seraph. The car used in the movie (actually 17 were used) was equipped with bulletproof glass, re-inflating tyres, able to be driven by remote control by cellular phone, tear gas dispenser, rocket launcher (where the sun roof was supposed to be, road spike dispenser and cable cutter.

The "The World is Not Enough" yielded the BMW z8 roadster, actually a car that was meant to be a concept car. Only 5700 were produced. They featured a 4.9 Litre 32-Valve engine producing 394hp. Bond's modified car included surface to air missiles, a targeting display in the steering wheel, remote control driving capability (this time) by the key chain, and featured titanium armour, and six drink cup holders.

6. "Duel" (1971) was a cult movie about an anonymous trucker stalking an everyman across the Californian desert. The car driven was carefully chosen. What type of car was the car owned by David Mann?


Answer: 1970 red Plymouth Valiant
"Duel" established Stephen Spielberg as a movie director of note. This was his second full length feature but the made for TV movie was elongated from 74 minutes to 90 minutes for a limited theatrical release.
The vehicles were carefully selected. Dennis Weaver was an average American (David Mann) driving an everyday car. The car chosen was a red 1970 Plymouth Valiant with a 225 hemi six cylinder engine. The car make itself was unimportant as it was meant to represent Everyman so a Chevy Impala or a Ford Galaxie would also have done the job. However Spielberg stated the vehicle must be red to contrast against the desert backdrop. Whilst the cars were '70, 71 and '72 models (the latter for the late filmed theatrical release), three were used overall but all were made to look like 1971 models with wheel covers only issued in 1971.

The truck however had specific requirements: it was 1955 Peterbilt 281 which features a long hood of the Peterbilt (instead of the more favoured cab-over type) 'Its split windshield, and its round headlights gave it more of a "face", adding to its menacing personality' according to the blurb on the subsequent DVD (2005). The truck had a Cummins NTC 350 turbocharged engine with a five speed main and a three-speed auxiliary transmission, facilitating top speeds over 80 mph. As there was only one truck, the final scene where the truck was destroyed had to be done in one take (In the theatrical version to allow additional footage, other trucks were needed).

[if you enlarge the picture you can clearly see the structure is engraved with "Plymouth" - This is the Pilgrim Memorial in its State Park in Massachusetts.

PS All the other options are cars that are highly featured in other iconic movies. See if you can determine which movie each appeared in...


7. "Smokey and the Bandit" is a 1977 American action comedy film where the car used is as much the star as Burt Reynolds (The Bandit). What type of car did the Bandit drive?


Answer: 1977 Pontiac Firebird Trans-Am
This movie starred Burt Reynolds as Bo Darville, (the Bandit), Jackie Gleason as Sheriff Buford T. Justice (Smokey) and (surprisingly) Sally field as Frog, the bandit's love interest. The movie was highly successful coming second in year's end receipts only to "Star Wars" .

The Pontiac Firebird Trans-am (four of them) were 1976 models with 1977 front ends grafted onto the front end (four rectangular rather than four round headlights). The cars were badly damaged in the movie, with one almost totally destroyed in the abandoned bridge scene. Some of the damaged cars were used for parts for the lesser damaged cars. The impact of the car was so great that for the two years following the movie the Trans-Am outsold the Chevy Camaro (same platform) for the first time since the cars shared the same basic design.

All the other vehicles are vehicles Reynolds has driven in movies: The Citroen in "The Longest Yard" (1974); The Ford in "White Lightning" (1971) and the Dodge Ambulance (1977 model) in "The Cannonball Run" (1978)

8. In the 1969 British caper movie "The Italian Job" and its 2003 American re-make, the same type of car was used in both movies. What type of car was used?


Answer: Mini
The Mini's manufacturer in 1969, BMC (British Motor Corporation), only gave a small number of Minis for the movies despite the publicity it was likely to raise. The rest had to be bought by the movie at trade prices. The Mini Coopers used were red, white and blue to give a patriotic British feel to the movie. All cars were stock standard with the only modification being the number plates were set in the future. The movie received favourable views mainly due to the acting abilities of the two leads Michael Caine and Noël Coward, and the direction given by Peter Collinson. The movie is representative of 1960s London and in particularly, Britain as a whole.

The American remake was set in Venice and Los Angeles in 2003. By this time the Mini brand had passed through many hands and was currently held by BMW though the cars were made in Britain. The new generation Minis were clearly stylised on their '60s counterparts but they were considerably bigger. A total of 32 Mini Cooper S models were used in the filming, three were fitted with electric motors as petrol motors were not allowed in the subway tunnels where some of the scenes were shot. Others were modified to handle on-board cameras. No changes were made to the motors or suspension. The remake, staring Mark Wahlberg, Charlize Theron and Edward Norton was also favorably reviewed and was a commercial success netting $176 million.

9. Stephen King's ability to write supernatural thrillers was unmatched by any of his contemporaries. Vehicle manslaughter featured as a common theme. What make and model was the eponymous "Christine"?


Answer: 1958 red Plymouth Fury
"Christine" was a Stephen King novel written in 1983 with a movie version released in the same year. In both formats the car was a red and white 1958 Plymouth Fury. The car itself was not special in any modified way but it did have the ability to kill people without anyone driving it (Only Mr King could make this plotline seem credible). In the original book, the car had four doors:There were no four door Furys - These were called Belvederes. So the book was changed to a two door.
The other options are cars featured in other movies: In the "Vanishing Point" (1971), a Dodge Challenger has to be driven from Denver to San Francisco in 15 hours to win a bet. In Rain Man (1988), Tom Cruise and Dustin Hoffman have to drive across the US from Cincinnati to LA as Hoffman's character is afraid of flying. The Buick is the requisite vehicle) An off-white Ford Pinto features in another Stephen King novel turned into a movie, "Cujo" (1981/1983).


10. Well in a quiz about where the stars are cars, this movie had the entire cast as cars. In 2006, an animated film, "Cars" featured many star names. The role of Doc, a 1951 Hudson was played by which movie superstar in what proved to be his last movie role?


Answer: Paul Newman
"Cars" (2006) is about a world of anthropomorphic cars. Lightning McQueen (Owen Wilson) is a young stock car upstart who learns a few life lessons when stranded in Radiator Springs, a small town on Route 66 that was forgotten when Interstate 40 bypassed the town.
It seems fitting that Paul Newman in his last movie role played the role of Doc, a 1951 Hudson Hornet, an avuncular role of town physician and magistrate. He bought dignity and wisdom to the character and the role. In the sequel "Cars 2", the role of Doc with another actor was rejected by the producers out of deference to Mr Newman.
The animated car was based on the fabulous Hudson Hornet which won the NASCAR championship in 1951-3 inclusive. (In 1954, Hudson and Nash combined to form AMC. By 1958, the Hudson name had disappeared completely) The hornet had a 5.0L / 306ci sidevalve six cylinder motor that produced 180 bhp. It was the largest production six cylinder engine in the world at the time.A three speed manual or three speed automatic transmission was available. The Hornet had a wheelbase of 124 inches and a overall length of 208 inches. The production run for 1951 totaled 43,656 units.

Thursday, February 16, 2017

An Old Farmer's Advice

An Old Farmer's Advice

* Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.

* Keep skunks and bankers and lawyers at a distance.

* Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

* A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

* Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.

* Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.

* Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.

* Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

* It don't take very big person to carry a grudge.

* You cannot unsay a cruel word.

* Every path has a few puddles.

* When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

* The best sermons are lived, not preached.

* Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.

* Don't judge folks by their relatives.

* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

* Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.

* Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none.

* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

* Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

* The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.

* Always drink upstream from the herd.

* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

* Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.

* If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

* Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God

Who's In Charge of The Body ??

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was in charge.

Brain

The brain said: "I should be in charge, because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."

Stomach

"I should be in charge," said the stomach, "because I process food and give all of you energy."

Heart

"I should be in charge," said the heart, "because I pump the blood and circulate oxygen all over the body, so without me you'd all waste away."

"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "because I'm responsible for waste removal."

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.

Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, and the blood was toxic.

Eventually the other organs gave in. They all agreed that the rectum should be the boss.


The moral of the story?

You don't have to be smart or important to be in charge...

just an asshole.

Take "The Canadian Quiz"

Click on the cannabis to take the quiz
Click on the cannabis to take the quiz.

Male SELF EXAMINATION FOR ALZHEIMER'S DISEASE

Male SELF EXAMINATION FOR ALZHEIMER'S DISEASE....It takes less than 15 seconds..

If you are male and over 50 yrs old, you SHOULD take this Alzheimer's Test

How fast can you guess these words and fill-in the blanks?

1. _ _NDOM
2. F_ _K
3. P_N_S
4. PU_S_
5. S_X
6. BOO_S

Answers:
1. RANDOM
2. FORK
3. PANTS
4. PULSE
5. SIX
6. BOOKS

You got all 6 wrong...didn't you?

The good news is: You do NOT have Alzheimer's. But you do have a problem.

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Ice Music

Mia the beagle

QUIZ ME! - The Boob Tube

all about TV
Answers are below. Grab yer pencils!
Quiz

#1. Which actor played the the role of Arnold Horshack on the 70's show "Welcome Back, Kotter"?
John Travolta
Gabe Kaplan
Aleen Travis
Ron Palillo

#2. In what area did the American television show "All in the Family" take place?
Baltimore
Queens
Cleveland
Philadelphia

#3. Which star of the American television satire "Get Smart" made his/her TV debut in 1957 by winning the top prize on "The $64,000 Question"?
Edward Platt
Ellen Weston
Barbara Feldon
Don Adams

#4. Who was the dearly loved sheriff in the fictional town of Mayberry, North Carolina?
Barney Fife
Gomer Pyle
Opie Taylor
Andy Taylor

#5. What psychedelic telemovie, produced and written by The Beatles, aired on Boxing Day 1967 on the BBC and ignited controversy?
"Help!"
"A Hard Day's Night"
"Magical Mystery Tour"
"The Yellow Submarine"

#6. On "The Dick Van Dyke Show", the fictional producer and brother-in-law to star Alan Brady was named Mel Cooley. Who played Mel?
Patrick Preacher
Richard Deacon
Robert Priestley
Alan Alderman

#7. In the TV sitcom "Seinfeld", what is the last name of Elaine (played by Julia Louis-Dreyfus)?
Nardo
Benes
Jarvis
Trakand

#8. What educational television series about the universe takes viewers aboard the "Spaceship of the Imagination" in 1980 and again in an updated version in 2014?
Life, The Universe, and Everything
Cosmos
Infinity and Beyond
Highway to the Heavens

#9. On the television series "The Waltons", which of the following was NOT one of the daughters? Hint: look at the first letters of the names.
Mary Ellen
Elizabeth
Corabeth
Erin

#10. What show was initially named "The Toast Of The Town"?
Broadway Open House
Your Show Of Shows
The Ed Sullivan Show
What's My line?


answers

Answers

1. Which actor played the the role of Arnold Horshack on the 70's show "Welcome Back, Kotter"?
Answer: Ron Palillo

Ron Palillo was a member of The Sweathogs, a group which also consisted of Freddy Washington, Vinnie Barbarino, and Juan Epstein. Gabe Kaplan played the role of Gabe Kotter, who was married to a woman named Julie.

2. In what area did the American television show "All in the Family" take place?
Answer:  Barbara Feldon

Barbara Feldon played Agent 99 on "Get Smart". She graduated with a Bachelor of Arts from the Carnegie Institute of Technology in 1955 with a degree in drama. It payed off in more ways than one: on the "The 64,000 Question" she was able to collect the grand prize because the category was "Shakespeare".

4. Who was the dearly loved sheriff in the fictional town of Mayberry, North Carolina?
Answer: Andy Taylor

Mayberry, North Carolina was an iconic town with unforgettable characters like Andy Taylor, who raised his son Opie with wisdom and love. He was respected by his townspeople for that same wisdom, as a lawman who did not carry a gun.

5. What psychedelic telemovie, produced and written by The Beatles, aired on Boxing Day 1967 on the BBC and ignited controversy?
Answer: "Magical Mystery Tour"

In "Magical Mystery Tour" we watch The Beatles and a host of eccentric characters riding a motorcoach across the English countryside to an unspecified destination. Some were actors; others were ordinary folks being themselves. It is, shall we say, the product of a very vivid and probably chemically enhanced imagination. Although it was filmed in colour, BBC1 transmitted it in glorious black-and-white. Most viewers detested it, and Paul McCartney even apologized for it. The programme would not appear on American television until the 1980s. "Magical Mystery Tour" eventually achieved a cult following, however, and was re-broadcast on the BBC (in colour) in 2012. (Boxing Day, for those who don't know, is the day after Christmas and is a holiday in the UK and other Commonwealth nations.)

6. On "The Dick Van Dyke Show", the fictional producer and brother-in-law to star Alan Brady was named Mel Cooley. Who played Mel?
Answer: Richard Deacon

Richard Deacon appeared in many sitcoms and films. He was best known as the recipient of Morey Amsterdam's bald jokes on "The Dick Van Dyke Show". He died of heart disease in 1984.

7. In the TV sitcom "Seinfeld", what is the last name of Elaine (played by Julia Louis-Dreyfus)?
Answer: Benes

Elaine Marie Benes is the friend and ex-girlfriend of Jerry Seinfeld. Elaine's father, a novelist named Alton (portrayed by Lawrence Tierney), appears on the show, but Elaine is the only one of the four main characters whose mother is never seen. She is also the only non-New Yorker - she is from Maryland and a die-hard Baltimore Orioles fan. Of the alternatives, Elaine Nardo was a character in the TV sitcom "Tax", played by Marilu Henner. Elaine Jarvis, played by Siân Reeves, was once the manager of Fargo's restaurant in TV soap "Eastenders". Elayne Trakand is a character in Robert Jordan's "Wheel of Time" series of novels.

8. What educational television series about the universe takes viewers aboard the "Spaceship of the Imagination" in 1980 and again in an updated version in 2014?
Answer: Cosmos

The first "Cosmos," hosted by Carl Sagan, was subtitled "A Personal Voyage." Some of his predictions came true, such as the success of Mars rovers Spirit, Opportunity, and Curiosity. The second one, hosted by Neil deGrasse Tyson, was subtitled "A Spacetime Odyssey." Tyson was greatly inspired by Sagan on a personal and professional level.

9. On the television series "The Waltons", which of the following was NOT one of the daughters? Hint: look at the first letters of the names.
Answer: Corabeth

Elizabeth was the youngest daughter, Erin was the middle, and Mary Ellen was the eldest. Corabeth was the wife of Ike Godsey, the owner of the General Store.

10. What show was initially named "The Toast Of The Town"?
Answer: The Ed Sullivan Show

In 1948 Ed Sullivan began hosting a variety show "The Toast Of The Town." In 1955, the name was changed to "The Ed Sullivan Show." The show ran from 1948-1971, bringing to the audience in their television debuts such notables as Bob Hope, Lena Horne, Dean Martin, Jerry Lewis, Elvis Presley, and The Beatles.

Titanic sinks in REAL TIME - 2 HOURS 40 MINUTES

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

21 Honest Valentine Cards

 Click here to see the rest at boredpanda.com

Click above for 20 more at boredpanda.com

Happy Valentine's Day!

Look! My heart is beating for you!

Hehe

The 411 - Special Edition - Saint Valentine

St. ValentineSaint Valentine refers to one or more martyred saints of ancient Rome. The feast of Saint Valentine was formerly celebrated on February 14 by the Roman Catholic Church until the revised calendar 1969.

His birth date and birthplace are unknown. Valentine's name does not occur in the earliest list of Roman martyrs, that was compiled by the Chronographer of 354.


411 The feast of St. Valentine was first decreed in 496 by Pope Gelasius I, who included Valentine among those "... whose names are justly reverenced among men, but whose acts are known only to God." As Gelasius implied, nothing is known about the lives of any of these martyrs.

According to the Catholic Encyclopedia, the saint whose feast was celebrated on the day now known as St. Valentine's Day was possibly one of three martyred men named Valentinus who lived in the late third century, during the reign of Emperor Claudius II (died 270):

* a priest in Rome
* a bishop of Interamna (modern Terni)
* a martyr in the Roman province of Africa

411 Various dates are given for their martyrdoms: 269, 270 or 273.[1] The name was a popular one in Late Antiquity, with its connotations of valens, "being strong". Several emperors and a pope bore the name, not to mention a powerful gnostic teacher of the second century, Valentinius, for a time drawing a threateningly large following.

That the creation of the feast for such dimly conceived figures may have been an attempt to supersede the pagan holiday of Lupercalia that was still being celebrated in fifth-century Rome, on February 15 is apparently a figment of the English eighteenth-century antiquarian Alban Butler, embellished by Francis Douce, as Jack Oruch conclusively demonstrated in 1981. Many of the current legends that characterise Saint Valentine were invented in the fourteenth century in England, notably by Geoffrey Chaucer and his circle, when the feast day of February 14 first became associated with romantic love.

411 It is believed that the priest of Rome and the bishop St. ValentineValentinus are each buried along the Via Flaminia outside Rome, at different distances from the city. Their calendar days of martyrdom have been made to coincide. In the Middle Ages, two Roman churches were dedicated to Saint Valentinus. One was the tenth-century church Sancti Valentini de Balneo Miccine or de Piscina, which was rededicated by Pope Urban III in 1186. The other, on the Via Flaminia, was the ancient basilica S. Valentini extra Portam founded by Pope Julius I (337‑352), though not under this dedication. Though the basilica is quae apellantur Valentini, "which is called of Valentinus", early basilicas were as often called by the name of their former patron as by the saint to whom they were dedicated: see titulus.

In the catacombs connected with the basilica of Valentinus, outside the Porta del Popolo, nineteenth-century excavations unearthed two hundred Christian inscriptions. Lanciani reported, from the chronicle of the monastery of S. Michael ad Mosam, an account of a pilgrim of the eleventh century who obtained relics of saints "'from the keeper of a certain cemetery, in which lamps are always burning.'" He refers to the basilica of S. Valentine and the small hypogaeum attached to it (discovered in 1887)" .

The earliest written Acta for Saint Valentinus were written in the sixth or seventh century, when the hagiographical genre was well established, with pious accounts of magic and torture shared among many texts and applied to many martyr-saints. The longer of the two is that written of the martyr Valentinus of Terni and his magical cure, through faith alone, of a crippled child. Bede, in the eighth century, knew of both hagiographies and included respripts of both under 14 February in his martyrology

411 The Legenda Aurea of Jacobus de Voragine, compiled about 1260 and one of the most-read books of the High Middle Ages, gives sufficient details of the saints and for each day of the liturgical year to inspire a homily on each occasion. The very brief vita of St Valentine has him refusing to deny Christ before the "Emperor Claudius" in the year 280. Before his head was cut off, this Valentine restored sight and hearing to the daughter of his jailer. Jacobus makes a play with the etymology of "Valentine", "as containing valour".

The Legenda Aurea does not contain anything about hearts and last notes signed "from your Valentine", as is sometimes suggested in modern works of sentimental piety. Many of the current legends surrounding them appear in the late Middle Ages in France and England, when the feast day of February 14 became associated with romantic love.

411 St. Valentine's Day

For more details on this topic, see Valentine's Day.

Jack Oruch has made a well-supported case that the traditions associated St. Valentinewith "Valentine's Day", well-documented in Geoffrey Chaucer's Parliament of Foules, and generally set in a supposed context of an old tradition, in fact had no such tradition before Chaucer. The speculative explanation of sentimental customs, posing as historical fact, had their origins among eighteenth-century antiquaries, notably Alban Butler, the author of Butler's Lives of Saints, and have been perpetuated even by respectable modern scholars. Most notably, "the idea that Valentine's Day customed perpetuated those of the Roman Lupercalia has been accepted uncritically and repeated, in various forms, up to the present"

In 1836, relics that were exhumed from the catacombs of Saint Hippolytus on the Via Tiburtina, then near Rome, were identified with St Valentine; placed in a gilded casket, they were transported to the Whitefriar Street Carmelite Church in Dublin, Ireland, to which they were donated by Pope Gregory XVI. Many tourists visit the saintly remains on St. Valentine's Day, when the casket is carried in solemn procession to the high altar for a special Mass dedicated to young people and all those in love. Alleged bodily relics of St Valentine also lie at the reliquary of Roquemaure in France, in the Stephansdom in Vienna and also in Blessed St. John Duns Scotus church in the Gorbals area of Glasgow, Scotland.

The saint's feast day was removed from the Church calendar in 1969 as part of a broader effort to remove saints viewed by some as being of purely legendary origin. The feast day is still celebrated locally in some parishes such as Balzan in Malta where relics of the saint are claimed to be found, as well as by those Catholics who follow the older, pre-Vatican II calendar. Prior to this action, the church in Rome that had been dedicated to him observed his feast day by, among other things, displaying his reputed skull surrounded by roses, much like the iconography often used by the Grateful Dead.

*From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Twenty Valentines

by Marion Mallette Thornton

"Oh," said Millicent, watching the postman's blue coat up the street. "I wish he would come here day after tomorrow and bring me twenty valentines!"

"Will he, Mitty?" Jimmy-Boy asked eagerly.

Millicent shook her head. "'Course not, Jimmy-Boy. I know only six little girls; I couldn't get but six."

Aunt Sara was listening. She was Millicent's very prettiest auntie from the city, and she nearly always found a way to help.

"How would you like to send twenty valentines?" she asked.

Millicent laughed. "Why, auntie, I couldn't send but six, either. I don't know any more girls. Besides, I haven't any more valentines."

"Suppose I should show you how to make twenty valentines, and find twenty little girls to send them to; would you like, to do it?"
Kids and Valentines

Millicent came running from the window with Jimmy-Boy close behind her.

"I'd love to, auntie! Please show me right away."

"Love to, auntie, right away," echoed Jimmy-Boy.

"You can help," Aunt Sara promised. "You can bring the mucilage while Millicent gets the scissors."

When they came back with these, Aunt Sara had a pile of gay pictures on the table, and some sheets of thick white paper.

"We will cut this into hearts," she said, "and you can cut out these birds and flowers and paste them on. Let's see which can make the neatest and prettiest ones."

Jimmy-Boy had to be helped a little in cutting out pictures, but he had learned to paste neatly at kindergarten, and his valentines were so pretty it was hard for Aunt Sara to choose between his and Millicent's.

It was such fun making them that Millicent almost forgot about the twenty little girls they were to go to.

"Who are they, auntie?" she asked when she remembered. "Where do they live?"

"Away down in the city," Aunt Sara explained. "Each one in a little white bed in a Children's Hospital. I don't know their names, but I'll send them to the superintendent, and they will get them safely on Valentine's Day. You can't think how happy they will be."

"Oh, I just like to try to think!" cried Millicent. "I'm glad we made them so nice."

The twenty valentines went off in their white envelopes the next morning.

On Valentine's Day the postman brought Milly six from the six little girls and two from Jimmy-Boy and Aunt Sara. They were lovely, and there were some for Jimmy-Boy, but they did not please the children nearly as much as a letter that came a week later.

It was from the hospital superintendent and said: "I wish you could have seen my dear little sick girls smile when they saw their pretty valentines. They looked at them all day and slept with them under their pillows at night. One tiny girl kept hers in her hand. They all send a big ‘Thank you’ to Millicent and Jimmy-Boy."

"Next year we'll begin sooner and make forty," Millicent decided; "it's lots more fun than getting them, isn't it, Jimmy-Boy?"

Monday, February 13, 2017

51 Days

A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant blondes.

They come up to the bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table. The corks are popped, the glasses are filled and they begin toasting and chanting, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"

Soon, three more blondes arrive, take up their drinks and the chanting grows. "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Two more blondes show up and soon their voices are joined in raising the roof. "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"

Finally, the tenth blonde comes in with a picture under his arm. He walks over to the table, sets the picture in the middle and the table erupts. Up jump the others, they begin dancing around the table, exchanging high-fives, all the while chanting "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"

The bartender can't contain his curiosity any longer, so he walks over to the table. There in the center is a beautifully framed child's puzzle of the Cookie Monster. When the frenzy dies down a little bit, the bartender asks one of the blondes, "What's all the chanting and celebration about?"

The blonde who brought in the picture pipes in, "Everyone thinks that blondes are dumb and they make fun of us. So, we decided to set the record straight. Ten of us got together, bought that puzzle and put it together. The side of the box said 2-4 years, but we put it together in 51 days!"
four blondes