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Monday, August 21, 2017

The short bus

One Monday morning, Bert was picking up the kids along a new bus route.

At the first stop, he picked up a fat little girl. Bert asked, "What's your name?" "Patty" she replied. She had a seat in the back of the bus.

On the next stop there was a handicapped boy named Ross. All the kids called him "Special Ross."

Then a young man named Lester Cheese loaded onto the bus, sat down, took off his shoes and began picking at his bunions.

Finally the last stop came up, and another chubby little girl got on. Bert had never met her, so he asked her her name and her name was also Patty.

On the way to school, Bert looked in his mirror and began to laugh, he was thinking...

"Dang, I have two obese Patty's, Special Ross, Lester Cheese picking bunions, on a Sesame Street bus!"

Just Imagine - A Sand Fantasy

Sand Fantasy- click here

Click above for this awesome movie. (wmv - ~1.7MB)
Please allow time to load. It is worth it!

Tech Support


Computer Problem Report Form

1. Describe your problem:
__________________________________________

2. Now, describe the problem accurately:
__________________________________________

3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem:
__________________________________________
__________________________________________

4. Problem Severity:
A. Minor__
B. Minor__
C. Minor__
D. Trivial__

5. Nature of the problem:
A. Locked Up__
B. Frozen__
C. Hung__
D. Shot__

6. Is your computer plugged in?
Yes__ No__

7. Is it turned on?
Yes__ No__

8. Have you tried to fix it yourself?
Yes__ No__

9. Have you made it worse?
Yes__

10. Have you read the manual?
Yes__ No__

11. Are you sure you've read the manual?
Yes__ No__

12. Are you absolutely certain you've read the manual?
No__

13. Do you think you understood it?
Yes__ No__

14. If `Yes' then why can't you fix the problem yourself? __________________________________________

15. How tall are you? Are you above this line?
__________________________________________

16. What were you doing with your computer at the time the problem occurred?
__________________________________________

17. If "nothing" explain why you were logged in.
__________________________________________

18. Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem?
Yes__ No__

19. How does this problem make you feel?
__________________________________________

20. Tell me about your childhood.
__________________________________________

21. Do you have any independent witnesses of the problem?
Yes__ No__

22. Can't you do something else, instead of bothering me?
Yes__

Thank you for taking the time to fill out our Computer Problems Form. Please allow 1-week response time so that the problem will resolve its self or you will reboot your computer, most likely resolving the issue.



Tech Support

THERE'S ONE BORN VERY MINUTE:


I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency ro om right away. Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747's. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing. Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.

A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote, "this is a stickup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write th! e note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK," and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America. Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the! robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, "because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later. This guy definitely needs a sign!

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him. This guy doesn't need a sign; he probably figured it out himself.

Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So, he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape. Oh, that smarts. Give him his sign.

Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 AM, flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. Sign please.

Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote. Scary, isn't it?

Why do straight guys joke about gay sex so much?

From Reddit r/bisexual

Q: I'm sure this has been brought up before, but I'm curious: do any other guys think it's so weird how often "straight" masculine men make jokes about cuddling, making out, giving each other blow jobs, anal sex, etc.? I mean, I totally used to do it, too, before I was aware of my wonderful and diverse sexuality, but now that I'm aware of and embracing of my bi-ness, it just seems so . . . out of place. How does everyone else feel about it/ deal with it?

It is the essence of sex between men

A: Depends on the guys.

For some, it's a form of trolling; the goal is to get your male friend to lose their cool without actually hurting them; if they are weird about their hot mom, then maybe it's all jokes about their hot mom. If they are weird about their long hair, it's long hair jokes forever and ever. If they are weird about sex or emotional intimacy with other men, then the jokes head in that direction.

I mean, it's unhealthy in its own way, since it encourages guys to never show how they really feel, but the goal isn't usually to hurt, I don't think.

A: I don't know, I think it does show a generally more relaxed attitude towards sexuality. I guess ideally you wouldn't have it so frequently as the butt of a joke but we're only human. Sex is just a weird and kind of inherently funny thing regardless of who's doing it.... the guys that make the most of these are either closeted and are doing it as preemptive cover. Or are the most severe homophobes.

Like there's something ridiculous about gay sex.

A: Guys like this usually joke about straight sex, boobs and dicks in general. I guess some might be homophobic, but I think it's more because sex (especially gay sex) is still taboo, and taboo is generally thought of as funny.

It doesn't mean they're secretly gay, just that they laugh at dirty jokes.

A: My ex-boyfriend (who is a straight guy, I am a bi girl) would often jokingly flirt with some of his straight guy friends to get laughs like "yo, I'm obviously straight, and I'm still getting all the guys."

A: Back before I was out to myself, I did this sort of thing with one of my friends fairly often (Not actually about sex, more about romancey stuff but still). I mostly did it because it made him squirm and I thought it was kind of funny, plus I kept telling him that if he would stop being so afraid of anything even remotely gay I would stop.

A: Most of the time it seems like it's genuinely based in friendly affection but men (in my culture) don't have access to an acceptable form of communicating that so it's better to communicate affection distastefully than to not communicate it at all. That's my take, anyway.

Usually I respond by throwing in an unsolicited "hot" which I'm not sure is tasteful, either, but it's throwing another taboo humor wrench at it?

Bi woman's perspective if that's relevant.

I usually toss out a "yes homo" in response to "no homo" as well

A: This is just my guess, but personally I think it has less to do with letting out their own homosexual tendencies and more to do with male intimacy. (Although, perhaps sometimes there's a blur on the issue!)

Growing up in our Western culture, men really don't show affection or communicate like women do. Women tend to be better listeners, have a more compassionate impulse, etc. Men have ingrained social norms being passed down generation to generation. Evolving over time, through the 20th century, through the Mad Men era and so on until today.

So, it's just perfectly normal for a woman to openly, vulnerably express how she feels about another friend (sometimes even in a public context!). For men, this is DEFINITELY not true for many cities/regions. I think we all want this sort of connection, trust, and intimacy. I know I felt this artificial gap growing up. And joking with friends was a "safe" way to say "I love you" or "I feel comfortable with you." It adds a layer of joking, so that if he gets it, he gets it and you both verify with one another and develop your own "secret code" to communicate in backchannels about your friendship.

Meanwhile, if not, it's just a stupid joke!

I think its the result of broken conceptions of "maleness" and modern men finding nooks and crannies in our cultural norms to express genuine friendship and trust. Maybe a stepping stone to more open, honest male-male norms like Brazil or parts of Europe.

A: I honestly really enjoy it. I think that it helps to normalise homosexuality for the most part, or at least get people talking about it. Sure some people go to far and are just bigoted, but some people also go to far the other way and just can't take a joke.

Making homoerotic jokes with my male friends helped me to realize that I was bisexual in the first place. When they still felt comfortable to make the same type of jokes with me and be the same people around me after I came out to them I felt really accepted and loved.

A: Honestly, I don't think it has much to do with being uncomfortable with their sexuality at all (though I'm sure that's the case for some people), nor for being purposefully offensive. I think it it's more about jokingly exaggerating the relationships they have with each other - such as acting as though having sex with each other is just something friends do. Guys like to joke about sex in general (both gay and straight), though usually to each other, as making direct comments like that to women may be misconstrued as harassment. IDK, that's just my perspective on it, as someone who used to do it and knows plenty of people who do it.

A: Honestly it likely has to do with being uncomfortable with some part of their sexuality that isn't 100% "straight."

Sunday, August 20, 2017

Hubba Hubba!

3 Parrots

Jerry Lewis Dead at 91

with content from The Guardian

Vetern actor, Jerry Lewis is dead at 91.
Jerry Lewis dead at 91
The American comic had suffered a heart condition for decades and suffered a near-fatal cardiac arrest in December 1982. His death was reported by Las Vegas Review-Journal columnist John Katsilometes and Variety reported that Lewis’ agent confirmed the news.

Lewis, at his prime, was embraced as the ultimate 20th-century village idiot, a pocket tornado who blended slapstick prowess with squeaky-voiced histrionics. It was a combination that helped make him the industry’s top box-office draw for several years running. “I was about as discreet as a bull taking a piss in your living-room,” he once confessed. Yet, while beloved by the masses, the comic also found himself lauded by the artistic elite in France, where he was eventually awarded the prestigious Legion d’honneur. The critics at Cahiers du Cinema hailed him as an American auteur, a visionary to rank alongside John Ford and Orson Welles.

Yet what was reputed to have been Lewis’s most ambitious, personal production remains unseen to this day. In 1971 the comic directed and starred in The Day the Clown Cried, about a children’s entertainer at the Nazi concentration camps. The film was reportedly buried by horrified studio bosses and has since become a dark piece of Hollywood folklore. Lewis, who was rumoured to possess the lone copy of the film, refused to discuss it.
With his movie career on the wane, Lewis took a job teaching classes at the University of Southern California, where his students included George Lucas and Steven Spielberg. He also kick-started what would become his annual Jerry Lewis MDA Labor Day Telethon, which went on to raise $2.45bn for the Muscular Dystrophy Association.
Lewis helped raise $2.45bn for the Muscular Dystrophy Association.

--more at The Guardian

*Wizard's note: I grew up with Jerry, just like a whole bunch of you reading this. He was one of my favourite comedians, and I always enjoyed his movies, with or without Dean Martin. He was a favourite of my mom's as well. I'll miss you, Jerry. You were the stuff that legends are made of. RIP.

AAADD

KNOW THE SYMPTOMS.....PLEASE READ!

Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder. Somehow I feel better, even though I have it!!

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage,
I notice mail on the porch table that
I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table,
put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back
on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think,
since I'm going to be near the mailbox
when I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table,
and see that there is only one check left.

My extra checks are in my desk in the study,
so I go inside the house to my desk where
I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks,
but first I need to push the Coke aside
so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The Coke is getting warm,
and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke,
a vase of flowers on the counter
catches my eye--they need water.

I put the Coke on the counter and
discover my reading glasses that
I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk,
but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter,
fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,
I'll be looking for the remote,
but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,
so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,
but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers,
but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table,
get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to
remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

the car isn't washed
the bills aren't paid
there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter
the flowers don't have enough water,
there is still only 1 check in my check book,
I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses,
and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.


Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all damn day, and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem, and I'l l try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail...

The Kiss

In this photo, You'll notice that she didn't care if he was dirty, she didn't care if he smelled like burnt wood, she only knew this man saved her life and she thanked him from her heart the best way she could. Very touching.


The heartwarming moment a rescued dog thanked a firefighter who saved the animal and his owner from chest-deep flood waters in Texas
The heartwarming moment a rescued dog thanked a firefighter who saved the animal and his owner from chest-deep flood waters in Texas

Check out your doctor

This is really interesting. Just click on the link, pick out your province, and click a letter to find your doctor. Click on your doctor's name to see the ratings he/she has been given; click on the number of reviews and you can read the actual comments from patients.

You can find all doctors in your city/town by clicking your city/town name.

Check out YOUR doctor - Click here.

VERY INTERESTING! ! !

https://www.ratemds.com

Saturday, August 19, 2017

Brian Bogdan speaks about being bipolar and how he is treated



Please watch this. Have an open mind. Mental Illness is real. Just like a physical chronic disease. It has a very high death rate as a lot take their own lives.

Quoth the Jack-Man...


Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson in The Bucket List
Never pass up a bathroom,
never waste a hard-on,
and never trust a fart.


--Jack Nicholson, The Bucket List

They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail

I was at the checkout of a K-Mart. The clerk rang up $46.64 charge. I Gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64. I gave the money back to her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favor. She became indignant and informed me she was Educated and knew what she was doing, and returned the money again. I gave her the money back, same scenario! I departed the store with the $46.64.

I walked into a Starbucks with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a Grande Latte. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said "buy one-get one free." "They're already buy-one-get-one-free," she said, "so I guess they're both free" She Handed me my free Lattes and I walked out the door.

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real Estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh I don't keep up with all that stuff."

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific."

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, has your plane arrived yet?"

While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces."

Yep, They Walk Among Us!

They Walk Among Us, and they Reproduce,

and Worst of all ..........

THEY VOTE

History Quiz...

DON'T CHEAT AND LOOK AT THE BOTTOM FOR THE ANSWERS !!!

History Quiz...

Everyone over 40 should have a pretty easy time at this quiz. If you are under 40 you can claim a handicap.

History Quiz

This is a History Quiz for those who don't mind seeing how much they really remember about what went on in their life. Get paper and pencil and number from 1 to 20.

BESIDE NUMBER 1-20, Write the letter of each answer and score at the end. Then, best of all, before you move to the next post, put your score in the Comments!!!!

1. In the 1940's, where were automobile headlight dimmer switches located?
A. On the floor shift knob
B. On the floor board , to the left of the clutch
C. Next to the horn

2. The bottle top of a Royal Crown Cola bottle had holes in it. For what was it used?
A. Capture lightning bugs
B. To sprinkle clothes before ironing
C. Large salt shaker

3. Why was having milk delivered a problem in northern winters?
A. Cows got cold and wouldn't produce milk
B. Ice on highways forced delivery by dog sled
C. Milkmen left deliveries outside of front doors and milk would freeze, expanding and pushing up the cardboard bottle top.

4. What was the popular chewing gum named for a game of chance?
A. Blackjack
B. Gin
C. Craps

5. What method did women use to look as if they were wearing stockings when none were available due to rationing during W.W. II
A. Suntan
B. Leg painting
C. Wearing slacks

6. What postwar car turned automotive design on its ear when you couldn't tell whether it was coming or going?
A. Studebaker
B. Nash Metro
C. Tucker

7. Which was a popular candy when you were a kid?
A. Strips of dried peanut butter
B. Chocolate licorice bars
C. Wax coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water inside

8. How was Butch wax used?
A. To stiffen a flat-top haircut so it stood up
B. To make floors shiny and prevent scuffing
C. On the wheels of roller skates to prevent rust

9. Before inline skates, how did you keep your roller skates attached to your shoes?
A With clamps, tightened by a skate key
B. Woven straps that crossed the foot
C. Long pieces of twine

10. As a kid, what was considered "the best way" To reach a decision?
A. Consider all the facts
B. Ask Mom
C. Eeny-meeny-miney-MO

11. What was the most dreaded disease in the 1940's-50's
A. Smallpox
B. AIDS
C. Polio

12. 'I'll be down to get you in a ________, Honey'
A. SUV
B. Taxi
C. Streetcar

13. What was the name of Caroline Kennedy's pet pony?
A. Old Blue
B. Paint
C. Macaroni

14. What was a Duck-and-Cover Drill?
A. Part of the game of hide and seek
B. What you did when your Mom called you in to do chores
C. Hiding under your desk, and covering your head with your arms in an A-bomb drill.

15. What was the name of the Indian Princess on the Howdy Doody show?
A. Princess Summerfallwinterspring
B. Princess Sacagawea
C. Princess Moonshadow

16. What did all the really savvy students do when mimeographed tests were handed out in school?
A. Immediately sniffed the purple ink, as this was believed to get you high
B. Made paper airplanes to see who could sail theirs out the window
C. Wrote another pupil's name on the top, to avoid their failure

17. Why did your Mom shop in stores that gave Green Stamps with purchases?
A. To keep you out of mischief by licking the backs, which tasted like bubble gum
B. They could be put in special books and redeemed for various household items
C. They were given to the kids to be used as stick-on tattoos

18. Praise the Lord, and pass the _________?
A. Meatballs
B. Dames
C. Ammunition

19. What was the name of the singing group that made the song 'Cabdriver' a hit?
A. The Ink Spots
B. The Supremes
C. The Esquires

20. Who left his heart in San Francisco ?
A. Tony Bennett
B. Xavier Cugat
C. George Gershwin



ANSWERS

1. B) On the floor, to the left of the clutch. Hand controls, popular in Europe, took till the late ' 60's to catch on.

2. b) To sprinkle clothes before ironing. Who had a steam iron?

3. c) Cold weather caused the milk to freeze and expand, popping the bottle top.

4. a) Blackjack Gum.

5. b) Special makeup was applied, followed by drawing a seam down the back of the leg with eyebrow pencil.

6. a) 1946 Studebaker.

7 c) Wax coke bottles containing super-sweet colored water

8 a) Wax for your flat top (butch) haircut.

9. a) With clamps , tightened by a skate key, which you wore on a shoestring around your neck.

10. c) Eeny-meeny-miney-MO.

11. c) Polio. In beginning of August, swimming pools were closed, movies and other public gathering places were closed to try to prevent spread of the disease.

12. b) Taxi. Better be ready by half-past eight!

13. c) Macaroni.

14. c) Hiding under your desk, and covering your head with your arms in an A-bomb drill.

15. a) Princess Summerfallwinterspring. She was another puppet.

16. a) Immediately sniffed the purple ink to get a high.

17. b) Put in a special stamp book, they could be traded for
household items at the Green Stamp store.

18. c) Ammunition, and we'll all be free.

19. a) The widely famous 50's group: The Inkspots.

20. a) Tony Bennett, and he sounds just as good today...

SCORING

17- 20 correct: You are older than dirt, and obviously gifted with mental abilities. Now if you could only find your glasses. Definitely someone who should share your wisdom!

12 -16 correct: Not quite dirt yet, but you're getting there.

0 -11 correct: You are not old enough to share the wisdom of your experiences.


The only failure is in not trying.

The Writing's On The Wall

A team of archaeologists was excavating in Israel when they came upon a cave. Written across the walls were the following symbols:


It was considered a unique find and the writings were said to be at least three thousand years old.




The President of the society pointed at the first drawing and said: "This looks like a woman. We can judge that it was family oriented and held women in high esteem. You can also tell they were intelligent, as the next symbol resembles a donkey, so they were smart enough to have animals to help them with the soil. The next drawing looks like a shovel of some sort, which means they even had tools to help them."




"Even further proof of their intelligence is the fish, which means that if a famine had hit the earth, whereby food did not grow, they would take to the sea for food. They last symbol appears to be The Star of David, which means that they were evidently Hebrews."




The audience applauded enthusiastically, but a little old man stood up in the back of the room and said: "Idiots! Hebrew is read from right to left. It says: 'Holy Mackerel, Dig The Ass ON That Woman.'"

Men

Men are like......Bananas.
The older they get, the less firm they are.

Men are like.....Bank Machines.
Once they withdraw they lose interest.

Men are like.....Cement.
After getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.

Men are like.....Coffee
The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.

Men are like.....Department Stores.
Their clothes should always be half off.

Men are like.....Lawn Mowers.
If you're not pushing one around, then you're riding it.

Men are like.....Popcorn.
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

Men are like.....Snowstorms.
You never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get or how long he will last...

Sunrise Farms Chicken Cutlets

I was eating some of the Sunrise Farms Fully Cooked Breaded Chicken Cutlets, and got curious what this gray, kind of bubbly meat really was. I mean they taste pretty good, are cheap as hell, like a dozen for around $5...
Sunrise Farms Chicken Cutlets
.... so I did some research. They are NOT good for you.
Sunrise Farms Chicken Cutlets
Ingredients
MECHANICALLY SEPARATED CHICKEN MEAT*, TOASTED WHEAT CRUMBS, WATER, WHEAT FLOUR, WHEAT STARCH, MODIFIED CORN STARCH, SALT, SOY PROTEIN, DRIED EGG WHITE, YELLOW CORN FLOUR, BAKING POWDER, WHEAT GLUTEN, VEGETABLE OIL SHORTENING (SOYBEAN), MODIFIED HYDROGENATED SOYBEAN OIL (MFG AID), DEXTROSE, DEFATTED SOY FLOUR, MILK INGREDIENTS, GARLIC POWDER, GUAR GUM, SPICES, ALSO MAY CONTAINS TURKEY, FLAVOUR (CONTAINS SOY), CORN SYRUP SOLIDS, SODIUM PHOSPHATE, SODIUM DIACETATE, CARRAGEENAN, POTASSIUM LACTATE, CANOLA OIL, GLUCOSE SYRUP SOLIDS, MALTODEXTRIN, METHYLCELLULOSE, HYDROLYZED SOY AND CORN PROTEIN, LEMON JUICE POWDER, CORN SYRUP SOLIDS, LEMON OIL, SEASONING, YEAST EXTRACT, CARROT POWDER, ONION, SUNFLOWER OIL, CARAMEL, SODIUM LACTATE, MODIFIED POTATO STARCH, YELLOW CORN FLOUR, CITRIC ACID, SODIUM ACID PYROPHOSPHATE, POTASSIUM CHLORIDE, CHICKEN FAT, VINEGAR, SOY LECITHIN, COLOUR, DRIED CHICKEN STOCK, SODIUM BICARBONATE, MONOCALCIUM PHOSPHATE, SODIUM ALUMINIUM PHOSPHATE, SOYBEAN OIL, NATURAL AND ARTIFICIAL FLAVOUR, YEAST, XANTHAN GUM, ONION POWDER, ALUMINUM SULPHATE, VEGETABLE OIL. CONTAINS STATEMENT: SOY, WHEAT, EGG, MILK.


Nutrition Facts
Amount Per Serving/% DV
Serving Size grams (115 g) ;
Calories 240.00 cal ;
Calories from Fat 0.00

√ Total Fat 14.00 g 22%
√ Saturated Fat 3.50 g
√ Trans. Fat 0.50 g
Polyunsaturated Fat 0.00 g
Omega 3 0.00 mg
EPA 0.00 mg
DHA 0.00 mg
Monounsaturated Fat 0.00 g
Cholesterol 60.00 mg 0%
Sodium 570.00 mg 24%

Total Carbohydrate 20.00 g 7%
Dietary Fiber 2.00 g
8%
Sugars 0.00 g
Other Carbohydrate 0.00 g
Protein 16.00 g 0%
Potassium 0.00 mg 0%

*MECHANICALLY SEPARATED (deboned) CHICKEN MEAT
Mechanically deboned chicken begins as a chicken goo or aka ‘pink slime‘ or ‘pink goo’. The pieces of the chicken carcass that have no particular commercial use – as in you wouldn’t buy it if it was at the grocery store – are thrown into a machine that produces the goo.

Junky Chicken Parts




Hundreds perhaps thousands of chickens are combined together, pushed forcefully against a screen until the least resilient matter is squeezed through by the force of all the other chicken pieces being pressed against it.


This product is then spit out into a container where that matter is packaged and sent to another facility for reshaping.



Mechanically deboned chicken - a.k.a. "Pink Slime"
Chicken nuggets, hot dogs, and these cutlets and the like are the end result.





YUCK!

Friday, August 18, 2017

NEVER call Saskatchewan Flat!

Ugly-Ass Froggy

Creepy Urban Legends

Click here.

Click above

Earth Magnetic Field Reversal

Possible energy ramifications of diminishing magnetic field. How long will it linger at zero before reversing?


Toilet Flushing

Seeing the powerful earthquakes such as the December 26th, 2004 event that triggered the tsunami disaster, people are looking for possible causes for the apparent instability of earth's crust. "End-times" alarmists and backyard researchers believe that the predicted imminent reversal of the earth's magnetic field may be a significant clue to these eschatological-scale events.

Scientists have been observing changes in the direction of earth's magnetic field which took place recently as well as in the distant past. NASA’s website features a map showing the gradual northward migration of the north magnetic pole in the past century and a half. Since more than double the time interval has elapsed since the last reversal, compared to the time lapse between the previous two pole reversals, some believe we may be overdue for the next north-south flip. However, though the interval between reversals of the Earth’s magnetic field can be as short as 5,000 years, it can also be as long as 50 million years. There does not seem to be any logic or rule governing the planet’s behavior.

It is not only the direction but also the strength of this magnetic field that is a concern. In the time of dinosaurs, at an estimated 2.5 gauss, it was eighty percent stronger than it is now. This may have been one of the reasons such gigantic life forms thrived. It is now accepted that a catastrophic event ended the reign of giant reptiles. However, they did not re-evolve to equivalent dimensions. And the disappearance of mammalian “mega-fauna” in more recent times is still considered to be a mystery. The mastodons and mammoths would have towered over modern elephants. Why are there so few large terrestrial animals today?

What happens when you flush the toilet?

The smaller average size of modern animals may be due to the gradual decline of Earth's "steady state" (as opposed to “pulsed”) magnetism. Thousands of years ago the Chinese, with their astute discovery of bio-electrical energy flows known as “meridians”, learned that magnetism promotes vigor in biological life. They used magnetic rocks in medical treatment. In the past century there has been a further decline of earth's magnetic field by another five percent down to only 0.5 gauss. This has led Dr. Dean Bonlie to identify a "magnetic deficiency syndrome" resulting from the biological stress caused by the weakening of this "energy base" for life.

The weakening of earth’s magnetism is one of the factors believed to be predictive of a pole reversal. That magnetic field reversals have occurred in the past is confirmed in the geological record. What is unclear is how precisely the transition occurs, and what happens to life forms extant at the time of this pole flip.

Does the magnetic field drop to zero gauss? Dire predictions follow upon the heels of this theory. Electronic devices would all be at risk: there may be damage to, or complete loss of, all near-earth-orbiting satellites and possibly the space station itself. Effects on life forms could range from migrating birds losing their sense of direction to immune system decline and even widespread die-off from radiation-induced cancers.

Losing its protective magnetic envelope, the atmosphere would expand and become thinner, possibly leading to altitude sickness near sea level. No longer filtered out, deadly cosmic rays would kill most if, not all, living creatures on the surface. Only those living in deep caves would be safe. This scenario has prompted some to build underground bunkers in hopes of surviving.


THE NOAH PLAN
A million years have come and gone.
The Earth is shifting towards the sun.
Synthetic atmosphere is lost,
And forces the computers off.
Communications are confused.
The tides reverse and start a chain reaction...

The seismograph prints out
incredible results.
It says we're losing all control.
We're losing all control.

The scientists around the world
decipher everything they're told,
but they don't really know.
They don't really know.

Instead of systematic,
the news becomes erratic.
No one can agree.
No one can agree.

The world is getting frantic
as people start a panic,
What does all this mean?

The sun is moving closer
and the atmosphere gets hotter
as the system overloads.
System overloads.

Fighting these adverse condition,
loading for the expedition,
Everyone must go.
Everyone must go.

The fools that think the worst is over
they won't live to be much older.
Why do they remain?
Why do they remain?

Everything is ready.
Everyone that's coming
has been safely brought on board...

The time has come
to leave again.
Activate the Noah Plan.
Returning to
the universe.
Give out the word:
Abandon Earth.

Magnetic fields surrounding us,
and pounding is increasing
as the ship is taking off.
Ship is taking off.

The electronic shields
protect us from the heat.
We're slowly breaking loose.
We're slowly breaking loose.

The ship is lifting higher,
the Earth is growing smaller
as we leave the atmosphere.
Leave the atmosphere.

We watch the Earth get closer,
getting closer, getting closer
as it drifts into the sun...

The time has come
to leave again.
Activate the Noah Plan.
Returning to
the universe.
Give out the word:
Abandon Earth.

The time has come
to leave again.
Activate the Noah Plan.
Returning to
the universe.
Give out the word:
Abandon Earth.

The time has come
to leave again.
Activate the Noah Plan.
Returning to
the universe.
Give out the word:
Abandon Earth.

--Peter Schilling - Error in the System

Countering this frightening vision, NASA predicts that, rather than declining to zero gauss, the magnetic field would become disordered. Thus we might for short time have more than one north and south pole on the planet. This official scientific stance says that the magnetosphere which shields us from cosmic radiation would not entirely disappear either. Thus, while communications would be erratic and perhaps at times completely inactivated, humans would find ways to survive. However, there are dissenters in the ranks, pointing to the vast South Atlantic magnetic anomaly and radiation damage to satellites over that region attributed to weakening of the protective magnetosphere.

The disorderly-flip theory is supported by evidence from geology that in past reversals the decline was not total. Lava flows that solidified at Steen's Mountain during a lengthy reversal process show that the magnetic poles wandered across the equator three times. Though strength of the field was reduced to about 20% of maximum, there is no record that it fell to zero gauss during that transitional period.

The theory that activity in the turbulent molten outer iron core of the planet generates its magnetic field currently dominates scientific thinking. Stormy activity deep in the earth's outer core, believed to be filled with roiling convection flows of molten iron, is understood to generate the planet’s magnetic field. Such violent seething could affect the mantle as well, possibly disturbing the earth's crust and causing the quakes.

However, there is an alternate theory of how the magnetic field is generated. In his article, "Origin of the Earth's Magnetic Field", Ernest McFarlane outlines gaps in the molten-iron convection theory. He proposes a system of electronic cells in a crystalline metal core with hot spots of heavy metals releasing alpha and beta particles. Due to the high heat the alpha particles are unable to combine with the free electrons. "Consequently an electron current flow is produced and conditions are set up for the generation of current loops throughout the inner and outer core. ... magnetic fields are produced as a consequence, in accordance with the right hand rule of electromagnetic theory."

Which theory is right? We may find out from experience sooner than we can come to amicable agreement, given the conflicting theories and computer models. The actual dynamics may include aspects of both, or new insights not yet fully developed.

The sun reverses its magnetic field like clockwork every eleven years at the peak of the sunspot cycle. The next solar flip is due in 2012. South-pointing magnetic flux moves from sunspots, which are intense magnetic loops near the equator of the sun, along “meridional flows” to the north magnetic pole, and vice versa. As the oppositely-directed charge accumulates at the poles the field declines, until eventually the reverse charge predominates.

Scientists point out that the heliosphere does not wink out of existence during this reversal. The sunspots are intense magnetic knots, much stronger than the star’s main field, which continue to spiral outward even when the main dipole field vanishes briefly. Though the solar magnetic reversal is not completely understood, the Ulysses space probe has sent back detailed data which has supplied answers to many questions.

The mechanism that controls earth's field reversals may not be based on similar principles. For one thing, a planet does not seem to have any equivalent to the powerful sunspots. McFarlane refers to there being more than one north-south pole system and about 10% of the total field being involved in smaller extra fields. If these subordinate minor magnetic fields take up more of the magnetic activity during the main field’s decline, they might become active enough to sustain a minimal protective layer shielding the biosphere, even if the main dipole field declines to zero gauss. This could be important for our survival, as the Steen’s mountain lava flows indicate that the reversal took 4,500 years to be completed!

IMPLICATIONS FOR HUMANITY’S ENERGY NEEDS

Whether the magnetic field is primarily molten-metal flow dynamics or electron current loops, or a combination of those and other factors, a magnetic pole reversal may be of significance to the search for clean energy generation and transportation. If earth magnetic anomalies become more frequent or are concentrated in certain areas, we could see disruption of existing electrical grids, even without the dramatic atmosphere expansion and radiation damaging to life and computers.

PES Network Inc. wants to encourage people in all geographical regions to participate in magnetic-pole data collection and reporting. A community-editable directory page at PESWiki.com has been created for this purpose. It is recommended that you first establish a “base line” by determining the accurate magnetic north reading for your location, and report the number of degrees and direction of any deviation from this norm. If you are able to access equipment to determine field strength as well, this additional data would be of interest too.

This data may be useful in helping inventors and researchers test the tolerance of Zero-point technologies, magnetic motors and other new generation systems in adverse situations. As we may have to live through ongoing magnetic disturbance for a long time, we will need to know whether the new systems will be robust under conditions of planetary pole reversal.

Ordinary citizens do not usually have access to instrumentation that would allow them to examine the deeper layers of the planet, nor the high atmosphere, nor the magnetospheres in space. However, if many people collect observations on magnetic field direction from different locations across the continent of North America, and indeed around the world, this data may become relevant in more ways than feeding "end-time" theorizing.

The subject is complex, and whichever scenario may be about to occur, some individuals have been taking note of unusually large fluctuations in the apparent position of the magnetic north pole. Using a large, stationary, home-built compass, one individual in western Canada noticed a ten-degree variation within a few days. This was so unusual that, concerned about a sudden pole shift, he described and published his observations, and asked for input.

No one else was seeing this rapid "pole shift". (except this guy...)


On borrowing a very sensitive water-filled portable compass and quartering the area, he discovered that this was indeed a highly localized anomaly in which his domicile happened to be situated dead center. He is now theorizing that the phenomenon may be a vortex related to the nearby extinct volcano Mount Ida. Vortices have been known to occur in volcanic mountain areas, and in the past some have become tourist attractions.

Individual observations are of value, but need to be balanced by additional data from a much wider geographical area. Thus alarms about sudden general "pole shift" may be put to rest, and anomalies studied for what they are.

Ted Twietmeyer is one of those calling for volunteers to join in a non-profit effort to track the magnetic pole shift -- or apparent pole shift. Summaries and links to this data would be appropriate for the above-mentioned PESWiki directory.


by Mary-Sue Haliburton, Pure Energy Systems News

Thursday, August 17, 2017

Interesting Thoughts




Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

What is the speed of darkness?

Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics?

If you send someone 'Styrofoam', how do you pack it?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation?

Do you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway?

Batman's Greatest Boner