Its like a plague that never goes away,
Or an animal and its prey,
And waits...until you're ready,
Then closes in and devours you...
From the inside out.
ALL you see is shadows of the ones you once knew,
No more happiness,
No more laughter,
No more love,
Its like a thunderstorm that blocks your soul.
Your soul becomes a black hole,
Whatever said, heard, or learned,
Is forgotten, never brought up again,
No longer does anything matter,
Its all darkness,
Like a plague that never goes away.
What I want to know, is how I can feel this way when I have so much good in my life. My son. My partner. May family. It makes no sense at all. I have so much yet feel so empty. Others have less than I have and yet they manage to cope. It HAS to be me, then. I am weak. I am a suck. A weak minded individual. He is weak. He should just grow up. He should be thankful for everything he has been given. He is brainless. He is daffy. He is spineless. I think that this sucks. This is not something I would wish for anyone. I am exhausted. He is a insensible. But I am spiritless. Dad... why is this still here? I thought not. Over 10 years and it’s like it NEVER went away. He is worthless. He is ng for empathy.... sympathy, that’s all. No I am not. I don’t even care if people are sympathetic. It doesn’t matter. They are not me. Failure.