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Sunday, November 06, 2016

Get yer facts straight, eh?

Here is what you'll learn!** H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.

*To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.

*When you smell an oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.

*Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is water and gin.

*A super saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.

*Liter: A nest of young puppies.

*Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat.

*Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away.

*Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives.

*The pistol of the flower is its only protection against insects.

*A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.

*To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.

*For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower that the heart until the heart stops.

*For head colds: use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat.

*Germinate: To become a naturalized German.

*The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

*Blood flows down one leg and up the other.

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