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Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Haiku

fridgehaiku
Every other one
Is divisible by two
Now is that not odd?
--Darrin in Ontario, Canada

i was quite hungry
so i went to my laptop
i love homemade Pi
--Martha in Newfoundland, Canada

The simple act of
Inspecting a mere haiku
Is fraught with peril
--Michael in Perth, Australia

I am all around,
Yet some can't seem to find me.
I am Internet.
--Terry in San Francisco, California

To get some more hearts
Press up, down, up, down, left, right
Left, right, B, A, Start
--Jack in Wilton, New Hampshire

Please Do Not Hit Me
Mages Can Not Take Damage
I Am Too Squishy
--Racheal in Lothering, Ferelden

Told my boss swine flu,
but I really came down with
Modern Warfare 2.
--Jason in Orlando, Florida

LOLcat is pronounced
"Lawl cat" or "L-O-L cat"
Which makes haikus hard.
--Noah in Spring Lake, New Jersey

I've always wondered
what solder really tastes like.
Um, hospital, please.
--Adam in Rock Hill, South Carolina

All I want is to
Find a pretty orc girlfriend,
But DM says no.
--Ian in Somers Point, New Jersey

Beware of Bathrooms
Rule number two. Number two?
Coincidence? Hmm.
--Jae in Charleston, Illinois

Divide by zero;
Stephen Hawking can do this.
Black holes will ensue...
--David in St. Joseph, Missouri

When I read haiku,
I hear it in the voice of
William Shatner.
--Shannon in Wall, New Jersey

Bugs and viruses
Incompetent end users
Job security...
--Janice in Edmond, Oklahama

Sitting in my lab.
Look at all the mutagens.
I could be super...
--Alex in East Lansing, Michigan

the tricorder broke
communicator is dead
and my shirt is red
--Jeffrey in Dallas, Texas

Use the Force, Malcolm
Gorram reavers on our tail!
Oops, wrong universe.
--Taylor in Montgomery, Alambama

Eat Theobromine.
Drink methyltheobromine.
Heliophobe, I.
--Zach in Tyler, Texas

like mom used to say
"zombie is as zombie does"
so i ate her brains
-- Manuel in Beunos Aires, Argentina

Hold infinity,
within the palm of your hand.
Buffer overflow.
-- Paul in Durham, United Kingdom

Haikus are easy
Yes, even with my eyes closed
See, thhy are npt hrad!
-- Micah in Phoenix, Arizona

WITH ALL CAPS I TYPE
LOUDLY I YELL EVERYTHING
I FEEL IMPORTANT!
-- Ed in Logan, Utah

Execute Spybot,
Please click Ni to continue.
Damn Trojan Rabbits
-- Julian in Black Mesa, City 17

Droning on and on
Talking about the atom
What an awful Bohr.
-- Michael in Johnston, Rhode Island

jIba' Quo'nos-daq
qeqtaHvIS tIQqu' lurDech:
tlhIngan Haiku!
Translation:
I sit here on Quo'nos
Practicing the ancient tradition:
Klingon Haiku.
-- Dale in Redding, California

Pi day celebrates
An irrational number.
Pi is not a lie.
-- Anne in Elwood, Australia

Net Neutrality
Keep the Man off my bandwidth
Don't throttle me, bro.
-- Eric in Lincoln, Nebraska

The next big idea
Will soon sweep across the net
Oh, it just finished.
-- Gilmore in Melbourne, Australia

Imagination
More important than knowledge
Great example: LOST
-- Brandon in Hinesville, Georgia

Hot Anime Girls
Never Gonna Give You Up
No! Not Rick Astley!
-- Lauren, White Bear Lake, Minnesota

Developer Zen:
"Ignore this error message."
What do I do now?
-- Stephen in Deerfield, Massachusetts

One Two Seven Dot
Zero Dot Zero Dot One
There's no place like home.
-- Martin in Bedford, United Kingdom

Your razor-sharp wit
Can never stand up to my
Adamantium
-- Anna in St. Louis, Missouri

Chekov in the bay
searching hard for some space fuel
Nuclear wessels
-- Jay in Murfreesboro, Tennessee

I bit a zombie.
it was ironic but the
taste was terrible.
-- Blake in Tulsa, Oklahoma

Learn from the Jedi.
Discipline, control, respect.
Dangerous muppet.
-- Patrick in Anaheim, California

Packets of photons
Streaming by our planet's sky
their address divine
-- Michaline in Chicago Illinois

Hum of computer
Torrenting throughout the night
Don't forget to seed.
-- Michael from Houston, Texas

ThinkGeek plastic bag
Promises a monkey's breath
Much like cake is lie.
-- Andy in Core, West Virginia

Steaming hot laptop
On my boyfriend's lap becomes
Form of birth control.
-- Hana in The Shire, Middle Earth

I can't do haiku
I will always get them wrong
Oh, wait. Never mind.
-- Randy in Bradley, Illinois

run ThinkGeekHaiku
Segmentation fault (core dumped)
I hate debugging
-- Aaron in Simi Valley, California

Some haiku are strange
They don't make very much sense
A series of tubes
-- Sean in Eugene, Oregon

There once was a boy with mind quick
And ThinkGeek dot com he did trick.
They expected to find,
Haikus in a line.
What they got instead was a lim'rick
-- Alex in Melbourne, Australia

Spam in my inbox.
Can I really help this guy?
From Nigeria?
-- Timothy in Peterborough, England

I love the tech life
It lets me IM the guy
Sitting next to me
-- Akela in San Francisco, California

the sun warms my face
it is a lovely....ding dong
wait, I have IM
-- Rhett in Hammond, Louisiana

Client with no specs.
Wants results in two weeks time.
Must. Not. Kill. Must. Not.
-- Shane in River Ridge, Louisiana

TPS reports.
Didn't make a coversheet.
See you here Sunday.
-- Dan in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida

I hate dungeons, but
I guess beauty's in the eye
of The Beholder.
-- Kat in Virginia Beach, Virginia

The Mac hates popcorn
I dropped some on the keyboard
It kernel panicked
-- Derek in Hoboken, New Jersey

two words never heard
in polite conversation
Microsoft Vista
-- Dave in Mont Vernon, New Hampshire

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