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Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Only in a stupid world

Batshit crazy
Only in a stupid world
do drugstores make the sick walk all the way
to the back of the store to get their prescriptions
while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.


Only in a stupid world
do people order double cheeseburgers,
large fries, and a diet Coke.


Only in a stupid world
do banks leave vault doors open
and then chain the pens to the counters.


Only in a stupid world
do we leave cars worth thousands
of dollars in the driveway and put
our useless junk in the garage.


Only in a stupid world
do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten
and buns in packages of eight.


Only in a stupid world
do they have drive-up ATM machines
with Braille lettering.


EVER WONDER?


Why the sun lightens our hair,
but darkens our skin?


Why don't you ever see the headline
'Psychic Wins Lottery'?


Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?


Why is it that
doctors call what they do 'practice'?


Why is lemon juice made
with artificial flavour,
and dishwashing liquid
made with real lemons?


Why is the man who
invests all your money
called a Broker?


Why is the time of day
with the slowest traffic
called rush hour?


Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food?


Why isn't there cat-flavoured dog food?


Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?


Why do they sterilize the needle
for lethal injections?


You know that indestructible black box
that is used on airplanes?
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?


Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?


Why are they called apartments
when they are all stuck together?


If con is the opposite of pro,
is Congress the opposite of Progress?


If flying is so safe,
why do they call the airport the terminal?


Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread
the stupidity and send this post to someone you want to bring
a smile to . . . In other words, send it to everyone.
We all need to smile every once in a while.


Spread the Stupidity!

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