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Saturday, February 20, 2016

New Church Bulletins

They're back! Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced at church services.


Church

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.





Church

The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."




Church

Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.




Church

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.



Church

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.




Church

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.



Church

Don't let worry kill you off -- let the Church help.





Church

Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.




Church

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.




Church

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.




Church

The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: "Break Forth Into Joy."




Church

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.




Church

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.




Church

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.




Church

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.




Church

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.




Church

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.




Church

The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.




Church

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.




Church

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.




Church

This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.




Church

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.



Church

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.



Church

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.




Church

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.



Church

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.




Church

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."

*Thanks, Gary

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