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Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Wrecks - The boat graveyard

Thought this was interesting....
Click here

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logging on to my iPad

logging on to my iPad

China’s Latest Glass-Bottomed Bridge isn’t for the Faint of Heart

by Danny Clemens, Discovery.com

Another glass suspension bridge just opened in China and, well, this one's a doozy. The aptly-named Brave Man's Bridge (or Haohan Bridge) spans almost 1,000 feet over a gaping chasm in central China's Shiniuzhai National Geopark:
Brave Man's Bridge
ChinaFotoPress/ChinaFotoPress via Getty Images

According to the South China Morning Post, the original bridge was constructed completely of wood. Park officials installed a single glass pane in the bridge last year to compete with other adrenaline-pumping attractions before eventually deciding to resurface the entire structure with 9-inch-thick panes of glass.

Obviously, nothing would ruin the thrill of staring into 590 feet of emptiness between the bridge and the ground like scuffs, so the brave souls that traverse the bridge are required to don booties to protect the glass.
Visitors on Brave Man's Bridge
ChinaFotoPress/ChinaFotoPress via Getty Images

Possibly the only thing more nerve-wracking than crossing the bridge would be constructing it:

A worker who helped construct the bridge reaffirmed the structure's safety in an interview with the state-owned China News Service:

"The steel frame used to support and encase the glass bridge is also very strong and densely built, so even if a glass is broken, travelers won't fall through."
Visitors on Brave Man's Bridge
ChinaFotoPress/ChinaFotoPress via Getty Images

The Brave Man's Bridge pales in comparison to a similar structure that is currently under construction in Zhangjiajie. According to CNN, that 1,400-foot bridge will stand 1,000 feet off of the ground, earning the designation of being the world's longest and tallest glass bridge.

Understand your goldfish...

Understand your goldfish...

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Your Virtual Turnpike

With this site you can look up any address and zoom in on it plus advance it along the street you have chosen. When you get familiar with the option buttons to maneuver around the address chosen you will be amazed just like I was. I viewed the house I grew up in and saw the changes in it plus other houses we have lived in over the years. Click here and Enjoy...

PS: I knew I shouldn't stand naked in front of my window!!

320 Pound Woman

The question is, What does a 320 pound woman look like?

Now, before you look at her pictures, get a mental image of what you think a woman who weighs 320 looks like....

Got it? Now Scroll Down

















320 pound woman
320 pound woman

Not what you were expecting, was it??!!

The tallest and biggest woman in the world lives in Holland. She is 7'4" and weighs 320.

CHECK IT OUT: Home For Sale... With Trek-themed Theater

By StarTrek.com Staff

If you're in the market for a massive house, one with an indoor pool and a Star Trek-themed theater, you're in luck. Just such a place exists in Friendswood, Texas. Within the 6,389 square-foot home, there's a castle-esque bedroom, a music-inspired loft bedroom, a ginormous kitchen and, yes, a Trek-centric media center.
Trek-themed Theater
Trek-themed Theater
Trek-themed Theater
Trek-themed Theater
Trek-themed Theater
Trek-themed Theater
Trek-themed Theater
Trek-themed Theater

Here's how the Houston Chronicle described the space in an article earlier this week: "Designed by Tiny Town Studios, the entertainment room is a well-designed replica of a famous Star Trek spacecraft. In addition to a high-definition projection screen, the theater area also has its own kitchen, dining area, dormitory with futuristic bunk beds and, of course, a command center."

And it's all yours for $1,265,000.

Selfies thru the years



Monday, September 28, 2015

Paul Lynde Halloween Show

SASKATCHEWAN FUNNIES ......

These are whacky Saskatchewan jokes fer ya !

The owner of a golf course in Saskatchewan was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from The University of Saskatchewan and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"

The secretary thought a moment, then replied, "Everything but my earrings."

{You gotta love those Saskatchewan women.}



A group of Saskatchewan friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.

"Where's Henry?" the others asked. "Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied.

"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired.
"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!"



A senior in Saskatchewan was overheard saying .. "when the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Saskatchewan." When asked why, he replied he'd rather be in Saskatchewan because everything happens in Saskatchewan 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world.


The young man from Saskatchewan came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!" Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?

"The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."



NEWS FLASH! - Saskatchewan's worst air disaster occurred when a small two-seater Cessna 150 plane, piloted by two University of Saskatchewan students, crashed into a cemetery earlier today. Search and Rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect the number to climb as digging continues into the evening.

The pilot and copilot survived and are helping in the recovery efforts.



The Saskatchewan RCMP pulled over a pickup on Highway 16. The RCMP officer asked, "Got any ID?" The driver replied, "Bout whut?


A man in Saskatchewan had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.

A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.

The man replied, "I have a flat tire." The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"

The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back! I never did understand it either."

MAD TV The Wizard of OZ - Alternate Ending

I always thought so...

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Sunday, September 27, 2015

Mouse vs Mouse Trap...

All About Farts

Farts for Dummies

A fart can be quiet,
A fart can be loud,
Some leave a powerful,
Poisonous cloud

A fart can be short,
Or a fart can be long,
Some farts have been known
To sound like a song......

A fart can create
A most curious medley,
A fart can be harmless,
Or silent , but deadly.

A fart might not smell,
While others are vile,
A fart may pass quickly,
Or linger a while......

A fart can occur
In a number of places,
And leave everyone there,
With strange looks on their faces.

From wide-open prairie,
To small elevators,
A fart will find all of
Us sooner or later.

But not all farts are bad,
This is simply not true-
We must not forget.......
some old farts like you!
HYUK!

Giggles, Guffaws and Groaners


Haeeya!
Marketing Terms
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I am very rich. Marry me!"

That's Direct Marketing.

You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you and says, "He's very rich. Marry him."

That's Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I’m very rich. Marry me."

That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie; you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her; pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm very rich. Will you marry me?"

That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says, "You are very rich."

That's Brand Recognition.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'm rich. Marry me" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.

That's Customer Feedback!!!!
HYUK!
Sports Bar
The fellow walked into a bar he had never been in before and ordered a drink.

He then asked the bartender if he enjoyed dumb-jock jokes.

The beefy attendant leaned over the bar and fixed a withering glare on his customer.

"Listen, buddy," he growled. "See those two big guys on the left? They're professional football players. And that huge fellow on your right is a world-class wrestler. That guy in the corner is a champion weight-lifter. And I lettered in three sports at Notre Dame. Now," he continued, "are you absolutely positive you want to go ahead and tell your dumb-jock joke here?"

"Nah, I guess not," the man replied. "I wouldn't want to have to explain it five times."

HYUK!
Halloween Night
It was Halloween night... A man was walking home from work when he heard thump noises behind him.

He turned around and saw a coffin following him.

He was scared and started to run, the coffin kept right up with him.

He got to his house ran through the front door, locked it and ran upstairs.

The coffin busted through the front door and followed the man upstairs.

The man ran for his life and then locked himself in the bathroom.

The coffin burst into the bathroom.

The man totally freaked out reached into the medicine cabinet and grabbed what he could find.

What he grabbed was cough drops. He threw the cough drops at the coffin and the coffin stopped.

HYUK!
Black Magic
This old man was feared by all his neighbors because they believe he practiced black magic and was responsible for missing cats and dogs and strange sounds at all hours.

Every time he had a confrontation with his wife, screams and yelling could be heard deep into the night along with the same statement.

“When I die I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!”

Well he died abruptly under strange circumstances and the funeral had a closed casket.

After the burial, the wife went straight to the local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow.

The cheerfulness of her actions was becoming extreme while her neighbors approached in a group to ask these questions:

are you not afraid? Worried? Concerned? That this man who practiced black magic and stated when he died he would dig his way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life? The wife put down her drink and said, “Let the jerk dig. I had him buried upside down.”
HYUK!
Dog Hotel
A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation.

He wrote, "I would very much like to bring my dog with me."

He is well groomed and very well behaved.

"Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"

An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years."

"In all that time I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls."

"I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly."

"I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill."

"Yes indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."

HYUK!
Who Shot Abraham Lincoln
Mr. Smith and his son Rick were called to Mrs. Liventhal's classroom.

"Mr. Smith," said the teacher, "I asked Rick 'Who shot Abraham Lincoln?' and he said that he didn't do it!"

"Well teacher" said Smith, "if my kid said he didn't do it -- he didn't do it!"

Father and son left the school, and on their way home, Smith turned to the boy and asked, "Tell me son, did you do it?"
HYUK!
Relationship Dynamics
The "car way" of telling how far the relationship is:

-- Trying to impress the woman: unlocks and opens the door, waits for her to get inside, closes her door behind her

-- Dating: the guy unlocks her door and then goes around to his side to get in.

-- Engaged: The man opens his door leans over and unlocks her door and opens it.

-- Married: The man gets in to the driver's seat unlocks the doors and says "Aren't you getting in?"

HYUK!
Teachers
Three college professors were driving down the highway at a very slow speed.

A policeman pulled them over and explained that driving so slowly on the highway could be hazardous.

The driver pointed out the sign that read "20." He explained that he was going 20 mph because of the sign.

The policeman pointed out that the sign indicated they were driving on Highway 20.

Somewhat embarrassed the professor apologized and promised to be more observant.

As the policeman turn to walk back to his car, he noticed the other two professors on the floor ...looking scared to death!

He asked the driver, "What's wrong with them?"

The driver replied, "We just turned off Highway 105."

HYUK!
A Downed Hare
I was driving down the road when I saw a lady standing by her car.

When I pulled over to see if I could help she turned around holding a rabbit.

She explained that she had run over the rabbit and she thought it was going to die.

I so wanted to help her I went back to my car and came back with a can of spray.

I sprayed some in the rabbits' mouth and it twitched its' head a little.

I waited a little while and sprayed some more in it's mouth and it twitched its head a couple of times.

Not much later I sprayed more in it's mouth and the rabbit sprang from her arms and ran to the fence by the field, stopped, turned around and waved its' paw at us. We watched it run 50 ft, stop, turn and wave it's paw at us.

The lady looked at me in amazement and said, "WHAT WAS THAT YOU GAVE THAT RABBIT?"

I replied, "Oh just a little hair rejuvenator with permanent wave."
HYUK!
Driving Trends
Chicago: One hand on wheel, one hand on horn.

New York: One hand on wheel, one finger out window.

New Jersey: One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic.

Boston: One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator.
HYUK!
First Visit
A guy goes to a girl's house for the first time, and she shows him into the living room.

She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to make them a few drinks, and as he's standing there alone, he notices a cute little vase on the mantel.

He picks it up, and as he's looking at it, she walks back in. He says "What's this?"

She says, "Oh, my father's ashes are in there."

He goes, "Geez...oooh....I..."

She says, "Yeah, he's too lazy to go to the kitchen to get an ashtray."
HYUK!
Work Distractions
HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY AND DRIVE OTHER PEOPLE INSANE

Submitted by Jonalee Echols from Bullard Texas.

1. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

2. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.

3. Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.

4. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

5. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."

6. When driving colleagues around, insist on keeping your car's windshield wipers running during all weather conditions to keep 'em tuned up.

7. Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."

8. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers, then cc them to your boss.

9. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."

10. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

11. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

12. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
HYUK!
Shut up & Trouble
Shut Up and Trouble were walking down a path. Trouble got lost. So, Shut Up went to the police officer. The police officer asked, "What's your name?"

He answered, "Shut Up."

He asked again "What's your name?"

"Shut Up."

The police officer asked, "Are you looking for trouble?!"

"Yeah, I lost him down a path about two miles ago."
HYUK!
One Wish
Married couples, both 60 years old, were celebrating their 35th anniversary.

During their party, a fairy appeared to congratulate them and grant them each one a wish.

The wife wanted to travel around the world.

The fairy waved her wand and poof -- the wife had tickets in her hand for a world cruise.

Next, the fairy asked the husband what he wanted.

He said, "I wish I had a wife 30 years younger than me."

So the fairy picked up her wand and poof -- the husband was 90.
clapping

You Are Loved...

You Are Loved...

Saturday, September 26, 2015

Chicken Sandwiches

Chicken!Don't eat chicken sandwiches, no matter what!


Chicken!A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends. Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both broughtchicken sandwiches every day! This went on all through the fourth and fifth Grades, until one day he noticed thather sandwich wasn't a chicken sandwich.

He said, 'Hey, how come you're not eatingchicken, don't you like it anymore?'

She said 'I love it but I have to stop eating it. '

' Why?' he asked.

Chicken!She pointed to her lap and said 'Cause I'm starting to grow little feathers down there!'

'Let me see' he said. 'Okay' and she pulled up her skirt. He looked and said, 'That's right. You are! Better not eat any more chicken.'

Chicken!He kept eating his chicken sandwiches until one day he brought peanut butter. He said to the little girl,

'I have to stop eating chicken sandwiches too, I'm also starting to get feathers down there!'

She asked if she could look, so he pulled down his pants for her!

Kidz

She said...

'Oh, my Goodness, it's too late for you! You've already got the NECK and GIBLETS!!'

For My Friends

For My Friends

Click above

HOW TO SAY I LOVE YOU IN 5 LANGUAGES:

English - I Love You

French - Je T'aime

Italian - Ti Amo

Chinese - Wo Ai Nin

Saskatchewan - Nice ass, get in the truck

Stephen Colbert Defends Ted Cruz After Being Booed for Gay Marriage Views

Friday, September 25, 2015

I'll Take 'Queer Quotables' For $500, Alex...

Gay Banter

"What is a straight? A line can be straight, or a street, but the human heart, oh, no, it's curved like a road through mountains."
--Tennesse Williams, A Streetcar Named Desire.

"If Michelangelo had been straight, the Sistine Chapel would have been wallpapered."
--Robin Tyler

"Anita Bryant like Anita hole in the head."
--Graffiti

"As a mother, I know that homosexuals cannot biologically reproduce children; therefore, they must recruit our children."
--Anita Bryant

"As long as society is anti-gay, then it will seem like being gay is anti-social."
--Joseph Francis

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
--Dr. Seuss

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
--Woody Allen

"Closets are for clothes."
--Bumper sticker

"Did you hear about the Scottish drag queen? He wore pants."
--Lynn Lavne

"Do not follow where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail."
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Drag is when gay men wear everything we lesbians refused to. And better them then us."
--Robin Tyler

"Every time you don't follow your inner guidance, you feel a loss of energy, loss of power, a sense of spiritual deadness."
--Shakti Gawain

Gay T

"Everybody's journey is individual. If you fall in love with a boy, you fall in love with a boy. The fact that many Americans consider it a disease says more about them than it does about homosexuality."
--James Baldwin

"For a long time I thought I wanted to be a nun. Then I realized that what I really wanted to be was a lesbian."
--Mabel Maney

"Gay and lesbian people fall in love. We settle down. We commit our lives to one another. We raise our children. We protect them. We try to be good citizens."
--California Sen. Sheila Kuehl after California Senate approved gay marriage bill AB849

"Gay people ... were the first to find me, and they get everything, they're so sharp. I'll look out in the audience and I see three or four gay guys right in the front row, or a couple of lesbians, I know it's gonna be a good show."
--Joan Rivers to Denver's Out Front

"Gay people, well, gay people are EVIL, evil right down to their cold black hearts which pump not blood like yours or mine, but rather a thick, vomitous oil that oozes through their rotten veins and clots in their pea-sized brains which becomes the cause of their Nazi-esque patterns of violent behavior. Do you understand?"
--Trey Parker and Matt Stone from South Park, spoken by Mr Garrison

"Girls who put out are tramps. Girls who don't are ladies. This is, however, a rather archaic usage of the word. Should one of you boys happen upon a girl who doesn't put out, do not jump to the conclusion that you have found a lady. What you have probably found is a Lesbian."
--Fran Lebowitz

Gay T

"God has given you one face, and you make yourself another."
--William Shakespeare

"Hateful to me as the gates of Hades is that man who hides one thing in his heart and speaks another."
--Homer (Not Simpson!)

"Homophobia is a social disease."
--Bumper sticker

"Homosexuality is a sickness, just as are baby-rape or wanting to become head of General Motors."
--Eldridge Cleaver "Notes on a Native Son," Soul on Ice, 1968

"Homosexuality is god's way of insuring that the truly gifted aren't burdened with children."
--Sam Austin

Gay T

"I am reminded of a colleague who reiterated "all my homosexual patients are quite sick" - to which I finally replied "so are all my heterosexual patients."
--Ernest van den Haag, psychotherapist

"I am the love that dare not speak its name."
--Lord Alfred Douglas from poem Two Loves

"I can't help looking gay. I put on a dress and people say, "Who's the dyke in the dress?""
--Karen Ripley

"I don't mind straight people as long as they act gay in public."
--T-shirt worn by Chicago Bulls transvestite Dennis Rodman during a network-TV interview

Gay T

"I get sick of listening to straight people complain about, "Well, hey, we don't have a heterosexual-pride day, why do you need a gay-pride day?" I remember when I was a kid I'd always ask my mom: "Why don't we have a Kid's Day? We have a Mother's Day and a Father's Day, but why don't we have a Kid's Day?" My mom would always say, "Every day is Kid's Day." To all those heterosexuals that bitch about gay pride, I say the same thing: Every day is heterosexual-pride day! Can't you people enjoy your banquet and not piss on those of us enjoying our crumbs over here in the corner?"
--Rob Nash

"I just wish more of my fellow queers would come out sometimes. It's nice out here, you know?"
--Elton John accepting Distinguished Achievement Award from Elizabeth Taylor at Los Angeles Gay & Lesbian Center's 25th anniversary blowout

"I like my beers cold and my homosexuals flaming."
--Homer Simpson (Yes, not "The Iliad" Homer!)

"I think God is a callous bitch not making me a lesbian. I'm deeply disappointed by my sexual interest in men."
--Diamanda Galas

Gay T

"I'd rather be black than gay because when you're black you don't have to tell your mother."
--Charles Pierce, 1980

"If adjustment is necessary, it should be made primarily with regard to the position the homosexual occupies in present-day society, and society should more often be treated than the homosexual."
--Harry Benjamin

"If gay and lesbian people are given civil rights, then everyone will want them!"
--Author unknown as seen on a button

If gays are granted rights, next we'll have to give rights to prostitutes and to people who sleep with St. Bernards and to nailbiters.
--Anita Bryant

Gay T

"If God had wanted me otherwise, He would have created me otherwise."
--Johann von Goethe

"If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in queer to work: "Hello. Can't work today, still queer.""
--Robin Tyler

"If horse racing is the sport of kings, then drag racing must be the sport of queens.
--Bert R. Sugar

If male homosexuals are called "gay," then female homosexuals should be called "ecstatic.""
--Shelly Roberts

"If time and space are curved, where do all of the straight people come from?"
--Author Unknown

"If you are ashamed to stand by your colors, you had better seek another flag."
--Author Unknown

Gay T

"I'm a supporter of gay rights. And not a closet supporter either. From the time I was a kid, I have never been able to understand attacks upon the gay community. There are so many qualities that make up a human being... by the time I get through with all the things that I really admire about people, what they do with their private parts is probably so low on the list that it is irrelevant."
--Paul Newman

"I'm not a lesbian but my girlfriend is."
--Bumper sticker

"I'm not gay but my boyfriend is."
--Bumper sticker

"In an expanding universe, time is on the side of the outcast. Those who once inhabited the suburbs of human contempt find that without changing their address they eventually live in the metropolis."
--Quentin Crisp The Naked Civil Servant, 1978

"In itself, homosexuality is as limiting as heterosexuality: the ideal should be to be capable of loving a woman or a man; either, a human being, without feeling fear, restraint, or obligation."
--Simone de Beauvoir

"Is life not a hundred times too short for us to stifle ourselves."
--Friedrich Nietzsche

"Isn't it a violation of the Georgia sodomy law for the Supreme Court to have its head up its ass?"
--Letter to Playboy magazine, February 1987

"It always seemed to me a bit pointless to disapprove of homosexuality. It's like disapproving of rain."
--Francis Maude

Gay T

"It doesn't matter what you do in the bedroom as long as you don't do it in the street and frighten the horses."
--Daphne Fielding The Duchess of Jermyn Street

"It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere."
--Agnes Repplier

"It's a helluva start, being able to recognize what makes you happy."
--Lucille Ball

"For most men life is a search for the proper manila envelope in which to get themselves filed."
--Clifton Fadiman

"It's hard enough to be taken seriously in the struggle for gay rights without having a bunch of straight girls running around kissing each other to get the attention of boys and videocameras."
--M. Robin D'Antan, 2002

"I've wondered what my sexuality might be, but I've never wondered whether it was acceptable or not. Anyway, who really cares whether I'm gay or straight?""
--George Michael to Britain's Big Issue magazine

"Jesse Helms and Newt Gingrich were shaking hands congratulating themselves on the introduction of an antigay bill in Congress. If it passes, they won't be able to shake hands, because it will then be illegal for a prick to touch an asshole."
--Judy Carte

Gay-O-Saurus

"Labels are for filing. Labels are for clothing. Labels are not for people."
--Martina Navratilova

"Lesbianism has always seemed to me an extremely inventive response to a shortage of men, but otherwise not worth the trouble."
--Nora Ephron Heartburn, 1983

"Let my lusts be my ruin, then, since all else is a fake and a mockery."
--Hart Crane

"Let's get one thing straight, I'm not."
--Bumper sticker