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Monday, August 31, 2015

"If you grew up in Winnipeg Manitoba you Remember..."

 Click here to go to the facebook page.
This is a facebook group and is one of the most busy fb sites I have ever seen. A must for folks from Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. If you remember something that was distinctly Winnipeg, post it!

If you are not from Winnipeg, go ahead and join and read what makes Winnipeg Canada's Gateway to the West!

Art by Steve Walker

Someone to be loved
Someone To Be Loved
Click on the picture to goto his website. Tons of homoerotic** litho's available.

BIOGRAPHY: Drawing was one of Steve Walker's earliest childhood memories. He recollects drawing pictures from about the age of three or four years old. Drawing came naturally to the Toronto artist, and his love of the art form continued into his adulthood. As a self taught artist, Walker only began painting after a trip to Europe when he was 25 years old. During the trip, he spent much of his time in Europe touring the great galleries and museums. In his words it was the first time he was exposed to great painting, and the first time he recognized the potential power of the art form. "I was moved by something that I was capable of doing," he said. His first paintings were done in a somewhat secretive way, as he had no intention of exhibiting or selling, and had no aspirations of becoming a professional artist.

Producing art about his life and the lives of those around him is as natural to Walker as his first childhood drawings. As a gay man, Walker is acutely aware that he is living during a period of history that is both the best of times and the worst of times. There is more freedom and acceptance for gay men and women, while at the same time AIDS has devastated the gay population.

But Walker's paintings are not about gay people or homosexuality. He describes his art as being about love, hate, pain, joy, touch, communication, beauty, loneliness, attraction, hope, despair, life and death. His art includes universal themes regardless of race, gender, socio-economic class, culture or sexual orientation. However, his work is unique because he conveys these themes through the subjects in his paintings, young gay men. "Remove the gender of the painting's subjects and what we have is human relationships in general, and one's relationship to the world itself," he said. "As a homosexual I have been moved, educated, and inspired by works that deal with a heterosexual context. Why would I assume that a heterosexual would be incapable of appreciating work that speaks to common themes in life, as seen through my eyes as a gay man. If the heterosexual population is unable to do this, then the loss is theirs, not mine."

If Walker were an abstract painter or a landscape artist, he says his sexual orientation wouldn't matter. But since his paintings are about gay life, his sexual orientation becomes more important than his cultural background, age, or nationality.

The focus of his paintings often depict sadness and loneliness to reflect the reality that much of anyone's life is sad and lonely. Walker often portrays people in relationships as separate entities because that is the way he views them. He also uses a small and consistent palette of colours because he is comfortable with them and the colours provide the desired results. "Colour is very powerful and a little can go a long way if used effectively," he said. "Some colours are very exciting to me, while others are quite offensive. Painting flesh is very exciting because of the huge variations possible within a very small colour range."

Walker's artworks are very large, always measuring 36" by 48". He creates large paintings because he believes that a large image is more appealing than a smaller one. "Whether it's a television screen, cinema screen, or an image in a magazine, the size of the image connotes a degree of importance," he said. Walker said belonging to an oppressed minority group has been a driving force in creating his art. "Any minority wants and needs to find artistic voices that reflect their own personal situations, and, in doing so, validate and record their lives and cultures for themselves, and for the larger world," he said.

Walker said he experiences many small rewards during the creative process. "After hours of painting, I stand back and look at something that wasn't there before -- a hand, face, or piece of fabric will exist where there was once a blank canvas," he said.

As an artist, Walker said it's exciting to be working at a point in history where there is an audience ready to appreciate and consume his creations. "It is very rare to find success as an artist in your lifetime," he said. "My work will be around long after me, but seeing it affect people at the time that I am creating it is very rewarding."

In recent years Steve Walker's work has been exhibited in galleries in Toronto, Montreal, New York, Philadelphia and Key West.

The gay community of North America has responded very positively to Walker's art. "I am very aware of the appreciation from a group of people who recognize the time, energy and talent devoted to a body of work that speaks specifically to them but at the same time exists in the larger world that we all live in," he said.

** ho·mo·e·rot·ic ( hō ' mō-ĭ-rŏt ' ĭk ) adj. Of or concerning homosexual love and desire. Tending to arouse such desire.

THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES

THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES
THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIESSix married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes.

There is no fast food.

Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of "pretend" bills with not enough money.

In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.

Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time.

Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment. He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care (weekend, evening, on a holiday or right when they're about to leave for vacation). He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function.

Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

There is only one TV between them, and a remote with dead batteries.

Each father will be required to know all of the words to every stupid song that comes on TV and the name of each and every character on cartoons.

The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, which they will apply to themselves either while driving or making three lunches.

Each man will have to make an teepee model with six toothpicks, a tortilla and one marker; and get a 4 year old to eat a serving of peas.

Each man must adorn himself with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep his nails polished and eyebrows groomed. The men must try to get through each day without snot, spit-up or barf on their clothing.

During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties.

They must try to explain what a tampon is for when the 6-yr old boy finds it in the purse.

They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.

Each will need to read a book and then pray with the children each night without falling asleep, and then feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair each morning by 7:00.

They must leave the home with no food on their face or clothes.

They must clean up after their sick children at 2:00 a.m. and then spend the remainder of the day tending to that child and waiting on them hand and foot until they are better.

They must have a loving, age appropriate reply to, "You're not the boss of me".

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks,and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's name.

Also the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of labor, each child's favourite color, middle name, favourite snack, favourite song, favourite drink, favourite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance.

The last man wins only if . . . he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice. If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years ...eventually earning the right to be called Mother!

After you get done laughing, send this to as many females as you think will get a kick out of it and as many men as you think can handle it.

What to do with old Bumper Cars

What to do with old Bumper Cars
What to do with old Bumper Cars
What to do with old Bumper Cars
What to do with old Bumper Cars
What to do with old Bumper Cars
What to do with old Bumper Cars
What to do with old Bumper Cars
What to do with old Bumper Cars

Sunday, August 30, 2015

Spice Girls Wannabees

Double Face Palm

Double Face Palm - when the failure is so strong, one face palm is not enough

The Big Button!

Reboot  Universe - Click here
A MAN who claims he is being targeted by extraterrestrials after a series of meteorite strikes on his house has now been hit by a sixth space rock in the space of a few years.
Click above to read the story

Everything has a chart for reference

The Fart Graph

Saturday, August 29, 2015

Parents - "Teach Your Children Well..."

Wipe out homophobia on facebook
 Click here to open the page


Click on the image to go to the facebook site "Wipe out Homophobia on facebook"

This car will require a pilots license...


A proof of a concept for a flying car by Terrafugia is shown.(Courtesy Terrafugia)
A proof of a concept for a flying car by Terrafugia is shown.
(Courtesy Terrafugia)


Flying Car Company Unveils Latest 'Roadable Aircraft'

So it's not the saucer-shaped vehicle George Jetson took to work. The skies are still waiting to welcome cars that fly.

Last week, Terrafugia, a leading flying car company in Woburn, Mass., unveiled its most recent "roadable aircraft."

The dual-purpose vehicle is equally comfortable on the road and in the sky. Its wings can fold up to let the aircraft drive on the road and fit in a garage. The wings extend so that the Terrafugia can take flight.

The company said the vehicle, recently approved by the Federal Aviation Administration, reaches 115 mph in flight.

*ABC NEWS - Technology

I am a Seenager. (Senior teenager)

I am a Seenager. (Senior teenager)
I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later.
I don’t have to go to school or work.
I get an allowance (pensions).
I have my own pad.
I don’t have a curfew.
I have a driver’s licence and my own car.
I have ID that gets me into bars and the Beer Store.
The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant.
And I don’t have acne.
Life is great.

Football vs Rugby

Football vs Rugby

Thursday, August 27, 2015

Fantastic Natural Phenomena


The classical natural wonders are huge and hard to miss - vast canyons, giant mountains and the like. Many of the most fantastic natural phenomena, however, are also least easy to spot. Some are incredibly rare while others are located in hard-to-reach parts of the planet. From moving rocks to mammatus clouds and red tides to fire rainbows, here are seven of the most spectacular phenomenal wonders of the natural world.

1) Sailing Stones

Sailing Stones

The mysterious moving stones of the packed-mud desert of Death Valley have been a center of scientific controversy for decades. Rocks weighing up to hundreds of pounds have been known to move up to hundreds of yards at a time. Some scientists have proposed that a combination of strong winds and surface ice account for these movements. However, this theory does not explain evidence of different rocks starting side by side and moving at different rates and in disparate directions. Moreover, the physics calculations do not fully support this theory as wind speeds of hundreds of miles per hour would be needed to move some of the stones.


2) Columnar Basalt

Columner Basalt

When a thick lava flow cools it contracts vertically but cracks perpendicular to its directional flow with remarkable geometric regularity - in most cases forming a regular grid of remarkable hexagonal extrusions that almost appear to be made by man. One of the most famous such examples is the Giant's Causeway on the coast of Ireland (shown above) though the largest and most widely recognized would be Devil's Tower in Wyoming. Basalt also forms different but equally fascinating ways when eruptions are exposed to air or water.


3) Blue Holes

Blue Holes

Blue holes are giant and sudden drops in underwater elevation that get their name from the dark and foreboding blue tone they exhibit when viewed from above in relationship to surrounding waters. They can be hundreds of feet deep and while divers are able to explore some of them they are largely devoid of oxygen that would support sea life due to poor water circulation - leaving them eerily empty. Some blue holes, however, contain ancient fossil remains that have been discovered, preserved in their depths.


4) Red Tides

Red Tide

Red tides are also known as algal blooms - sudden influxes of massive amounts of colored single-cell algae that can convert entire areas of an ocean or beach into a blood red color. While some of these can be relatively harmless, others can be harbingers of deadly toxins that cause the deaths of fish, birds and marine mammals. In some cases, even humans have been harmed by red tides though no human exposure are known to have been fatal. While they can be fatal, the constituent phytoplankton in ride tides are not harmful in small numbers.


5) Ice Circles

Ice Circles

While many see these apparently perfect ice circles as worthy of conspiracy theorizing, scientists generally accept that they are formed by eddies in the water that spin a sizable piece of ice in a circular motion. As a result of this rotation, other pieces of ice and flotsam wear relatively evenly at the edges of the ice until it slowly forms into an essentially ideal circle. Ice circles have been seen with diameters of over 500 feet and can also at times be found in clusters and groups at different sizes as shown above.


6) Mammatus Clouds



True to their ominous appearance, mammatus clouds are often harbingers of a coming storm or other extreme weather system. Typically composed primarily of ice, they can extend for hundreds of miles in each direction and individual formations can remain visibly static for ten to fifteen minutes at a time. While they may appear foreboding they are merely the messengers - appearing around, before or even after severe weather.

A Lesson in Life & Longevity

THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL LESSON
Dogs and Pups
IN LIFE AND LONGEVITY
Be nice to others because . .

Time WILL make a difference!

One day you will no longer be the big dog...
just the old dog....
and it's nice to be surrounded by friends.

Stupid Is As Stupid Says...

STUPID is as STUPID Says!
-- ON JOB HUNTERS WHO WON'T GET THE JOB, CHECK --

Skills:

1. Organizing sh*t? Check.
2. Calling numbers and sh*t? Doublecheck.
3. Customer support and sh*t? Mega-check.
4. Faxing numbers and sh*t? MOTHERFLIPPING CHECK ALL OVER THAT.


on a cover letter for an office manager's position


STUPID is as STUPID Says!
-- ON ¡ AY POR DIOS ! --
• Plugs of Spanish omlet
• Creaking cheese brie
• Thorn of snuff and cuttlefish


menu items, Barcelona, Spain


STUPID is as STUPID Says!
-- ON LACK OF SPELLING KNOWLEDGE, NOT HOLDING HIM BACK --

Climbing the latter of success you will encounter Barriers … they will not #holdmeback.

tweet by hip-hop artist Rick Rozay aka Rick Ross

STUPID is as STUPID Says!
-- ON WELL, ARE THEY? --
Family Feud host: A question you hate when people ask it of you?

Contestant: Are those real?


STUPID is as STUPID Says!
-- ON BOLD STANDS, CONFUSED --
I'm not familiar precisely with what I said, but I'll stand by what I said, whatever it was.

Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney

Interesting

by Tomasz Alen Kopera
Tomasz Alen Kopera

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Sad, This is what we are doing to our planet.

Traditional Chinese Medicine

Uninformed, every one, and monsters promoting destruction of the unique and precious. Look what they've done in the name of giving impotent, tiny-dicked ignoramuses a magic potion:

Last Rhino
Poachers have butchered the last adult rhinoceros at a South African game reserve, cutting off her horn and letting her bleed to death, the chief game ranger says.

Rhino horns are just large lumps of keratin, nothing more. They do nothing to make men attractive, they don't enhance an erection, they don't increase desire. You might as well make a pill from ground-up fingernail clippings, it is the same thing.

But there is one thing that does enhance virility…

No, I shouldn't say it. It's a closely guarded secret. It's too dangerously effective. It's a formula that will make your penis grow 4 inches in a day, make you multi-orgasmic, and generate steely erections that stay up for 3 hours and 59 minutes (if you have an erection that lasts 4 hours or more, see your doctor).
But then, since they've just about exterminated rhinos, I guess it's only fair that I mention the alternative.

The magic ingredient is…

The one indispensable component of this formula is…

The ground-up genitals of TCM pharmacists. Shocking, I know, but it's a fact. TCM** pharmacists never have sexual problems because they are constantly doping themselves up with their panaceas, and their tissues are saturated with the most effective reagents in their pharmacopias.

The best way to collect them and maintain their active properties, of course, is to hover over a TCM pharmacy in a helicopter, and wait for the proprietor to step out; then hit him or her with a tranqulizer dart, rappel down, and then swiftly chop out the magic organ with a chainsaw. After you've flown away, throw the bloody bits in a blender with a dozen raw oysters and some tequila, and swallow the liquified results straight down.

If the TCM pharmacists are over-harvested, the second best source of good virility enhancing tissue is the crotches of the people who have been gobbling down TCM remedies, including, of course, the one I just gave you (I have never taken any TCM potions in my entire life, I quickly assure you).

Of course, I do not personally endorse this protocol. But you know, boys will be boys, and spoiled rich  tycoons will be spoiled rich tycoons.
**TCM - Traditional Chinese Medicine

Missing Missy


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9:15 AM
To: David Thorne
Subject: Poster

Hi,

I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then. So, I was wondering, if you are not too busy, could you make a poster for me. The size has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon.

Missy

This is the only photo I have of her. She answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. She went missing on Harper Street and add my phone number.

Thanks,

Shan




From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9:26 AM
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,

That is shocking news. Luckily I was sitting down when I read your email and not halfway up a ladder or tree.

How are you holding up? I am surprised you managed to attend work at all what with thinking about Missy out there, cold, frightened and alone... possibly lying on the side of the road, her back legs squashed by a vehicle, calling out, "Shannon, where are you?"

Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.

Regards,

David




From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9:37 AM
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Poster

Yeah, OK, thanks.

I know you don't like cats but I am really worried about mine. I have to leave at 1 PM today.




From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10:17 AM
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,

I never said I don't like cats. Once, having been invited to a party, I went clothes shopping beforehand and bought a pair of expensive G-Star boots. They were two sizes too small but I wanted them so badly I figured I could just wear them without socks and cut my toenails very short.

As the party was only a few blocks from my place, I decided to walk. After the first block, I lost all feeling in my feet. Arriving at the party, I stumbled into a guy named Steven, spilling Malibu and coke onto his white Wham "Choose Life" T-shirt, and he punched me.

An hour or so after the incident, Steven sat down in a chair already occupied by a cat. The surprised cat clawed and snarled causing Steven to leap out of the chair, slip on a rug and strike his forehead onto the corner of a speaker; resulting in a two inch open gash.

In its shock, the cat also defecated, leaving Steven with a foul stain down the back of his beige cargo pants.

I liked that cat.

Attached poster as requested.

Regards,

David


Missy


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10:24 AM
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Yeah, that's not what I was looking for at all. It looks like a movie. And, how come the photo of Missy is so small?




From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10:28 AM
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,

It's a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.

Regards,

David




From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10:33 AM
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

That's just stupid! Can you do it properly please? I am extremely emotional over this and was up all night in tears. You seem to think it is funny.

Can you make the photo bigger, fix the text, and do it in colour please.

Thanks.




From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10:46 AM
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,

Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism. I don't come downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log onto Facebook and look out of the window. I am willing to overlook this faux pas due to you no doubt being preoccupied with thoughts of Missy attempting to make her way home across busy intersections or being trapped in a drain as it slowly fills with water.

I spent three days down a well once but that was just for fun.

I have amended and attached the poster as per your instructions.

Regards,

David


Missy


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10:59 AM
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

This is worse than the other one! Can you make it so it shows the whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says "Missing Missy" off it.

I just want it to say "Lost".




From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11:14 AM
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Missy



From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11:21 AM
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Yeah, can you do the poster or not?

I just want a photo and the word lost and the telephone number and when and where she was lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or anything stupid. I have to leave early today. If it was your cat I would help you.

Thanks.




From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11:32 AM
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Awww

Dear Shannon,

I don't have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend's cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty litter, I kept the cat in a closed cardboard box in the shed and forgot about it.

If I wanted to feed something and clean a litter box, I wouldn't have put my mother in that home after her stroke. A week later, when my friend came to collect his cat, I pretended that I was not home and mailed the box to him. Apparently I failed to put enough stamps on the package and he had to collect it from the post office and pay eighteen dollars.

He still goes on about that sometimes. People need to learn to let go.

I have attached the amended version of your poster as per your detailed instructions.

Regards,

David


Missy


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11:47 AM
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Awww

That's not my cat. Where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange! I gave you a photo of my cat.




From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11:58 AM
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Awww

I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any one of several violent ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out of this. If anybody calls and says, "I haven't seen your orange cat, but I did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?" You can politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill.

I knew someone who had a basset hound that had its hind legs removed after an accident and it had to walk around with one of those little buggies with wheels. If it had been my dog I would have asked for all its legs to be removed and replaced with wheels and had a remote control installed. I could charge neighbourhood kids for rides and enter it in races. If I did the same with a horse I could drive it to work. I would call it Steven.

Regards,

David




From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12:07 PM
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Please just use the photo I gave you.




From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12:22 PM
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww


Missy


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12:34 PM
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

I didn't say there was a reward. I don't have $2000 dollars! What did you even put that there for? Apart from that, it is perfect. Can you please remove the reward bit.

Thanks,

Shan




From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12:42 PM
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww


Missy


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12:51 PM
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Can you please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it.




From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12:56 PM
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww


Missy


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 1:03 PM
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Fine! That will have to do.

Test for older adults

Alzheimer's Test How fast can you guess these words?

1. F_ _K
2. PU_S_
3. S_X
4. P_N_S
5. BOO_S
6. _ _NDOM









Answers:

1. FORK
2. PULSE
3. SIX
4. PANTS
5. BOOKS
6. RANDOM


You got all 6 wrong....didn't you?

You want me to what?

This is undoubtedly the most expressive picture I've ever seen
of an animal.
You can almost hear him say these words;
"You want me to do what?"
The look on this dog's face is priceless...

I'm NOT Smellin' those!
You can kiss my ass I'm not smellin' those!"

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Early Cell Phone Commercials

Hello friends of the 1980s and early 1990s! How about that Mikhail Gorbachev, what an absolute HAM! If you're like me, in between rocking out to your favorite Huey Lewis and the News cassettes and investing lots of money in Tab cola and Enron, you like to keep up with the latest in "cellular phone technology." Have you heard about it? You haven't?! What, are you living under a rock expelled from Mount St. Helens, which just exploded not so long ago?!? "Cell" (short for "cellular") phones allow you to make a call from anywhere to anywhere. You could get the latest from the Call the Coreys hotline while in an important business meeting in Czechoslovakia, or gossip about the latest episode of Family Ties with your good friend in South Yemen.

But don't take my word for it. Here are some commercials

Clear! Toast! Clear!

I am wondering if you shocked someone, would they smell burnt toast?

Clear! Toast! Clear!
*shay carmon //

For Those Who Thought They Knew Everything

Know it all keyboard

Don't know if these are actually true, but enjoy!

For those of you who just thought you knew everything, here's a refresher course...

The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for blood plasma.

No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times.

Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.

You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.

Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty (50) years of age or older.

The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.

The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache.

American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive from each salad served in first-class.

Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise. (Since Venus is normally associated with women, what does this tell you!)

Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.

The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer. So did the first "Marlboro Man."

Walt Disney was afraid of mice.

Pearls melt in vinegar.

The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.

It is possible to lead a cow upstairs... but not downstairs.

A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush. (I keep my toothbrush in the living room now!)

Richard Millhouse Nixon was the first U.S. president whose name contains all the letters from the word "criminal."

And the best for last.....

Turtles can breathe through their butts.

(I know some people like that; don't YOU?)

Now you know everything there is to know.

Of importance, that is !!!

"It's A Crap!"

'Its' a crap!'

Monday, August 24, 2015

The Italian chef...

Did you hear about the Italian chef that died?

He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. His legacy will become a pizza history. Here today, gone tomato. How sad that he ran out of thyme.

Sending olive prayersto the family. His wife is really upset. Cheese still not over it. You never sausage a tragic thing. It's such a shame good people have to die fusilli reasons.

It was a farfalle from grace.

If you have anxiety...

If you have anxiety...

Me and My Ubuntu

I started in my computing life, like most others. Windows. Started with 3.11, paid again for Windows 95, then 98, (even Millennium!!), Windows XP, Widows Vista (say it isn't so!!) and finally Windows 7. That was a heck of a lot of money. I had looked at Ubuntu with Jaunty. It was interesting, but I found it hard yo understand and the file system kept getting corrupt (Hello fsck!!!). I had loaded Jaunty on dual boot with Windows.

I went like that for a while when my Windows partition got corrupted, resulting in needing a reinstall of the OS. I wiped Ubuntu off at the same time. A little while later, I decided to revive my old Windows Me laptop. 500 MHz Celeron, 512 MB Ram. Since I couldn't update it, I put Puppy Linux on it. Lucid I think. In any case it purred along quite nicely, thank you very much! Well, soon Puppy Linux bit me. I got a new all in one computer from a friend that needed a hard disk. I had no copy of Windows to work with it so I explored putting Puppy on it as well.

I decided why would I do that. I decided to look at Ubuntu again. While I was installing Lucid Lynx on the new computer, I immediately put my Windows box up for sale. I have not used a Windows product outside of a virtual machine, and have never looked back. I really love the performance, stability, and customization of Ubuntu. Only thing I needed Widows for was to sync my Zune (Yes, I was the one who bought that!). Now I have a Zen and no longer need anything Microsoft any more.

Screenshot of my Ubuntu
My Ubuntu screen. Ubuntu 14.04 LTS (Lonf term support) - FREE I might add!

I am running Ubuntu 14.04 on an HP TouchSmart PC, Intel ® CoreTM2 Duo Processor T5850 (2.16GHz), 4096MB PC2-5300 DDR2 SDRAM, and a 1.5TB hard disk. Way more than I need as far as power goes. I love Ubuntu. I don't like Windows. I use Unity and am quite happy with that. I have a saying I go by... Linux is NOT Windows, It does not WANT to be, Don't try to MAKE it be!

I've included a recent screen shot as well. Some people may think it's cluttered but I don't. But that's just me. Me and MY Ubuntu.

Sunday, August 23, 2015

The Beauty of Mathematics and The Love of GOD

This is TOO cool!

Just the math part is good enough, the end is even better. I received this e-mail and thought it was pretty cool! Keep scrolling it gets better.


Beauty of Mathematics!!!!!!!

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888

Brilliant, isn ' t it?

And look at this symmetry:

1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 =1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 =123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111 =12345678987654321

Mind Boggling...

Now, take a look at this...

101%

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:

What Equals 100%?

What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been in situations where someone wants you to...

GIVE OVER 100%...

How about ACHIEVING 101%?

What equals 100% in life?

Here ' s a little mathematical formula that might help answer these questions:

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O- R- K

8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

And:

K-N-O-W-L-E- D-G-E

11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+ 5 = 96%

But:

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E

1+20+20+9+20+ 21+4+5 = 100%

THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:

L-O-V-E-O-F- G-O-D
12+15+22+5+15+ 6+7+15+4 =101%

Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:

While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, but it's the Love of God that will put you over the top!

Warning to ALL You Older Gay Men Out There!

Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall and in dark parking lots, etc. This is the first warning I have seen for men. I wanted to pass it on in case you haven't heard about it.

A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular customers at Lowe's, Home Depot, Costco, or even Wal-Mart. This one caught me totally by surprise.

Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends.

Here's how the scam works:

Two nice-looking, college-aged guys will come over to your car or truck as you are packing your purchases into your vehicle. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their hairy chests, ripplin' abs, and bulging baloney-ponies almost bursting out of their skimpy shorts. (It's impossible not to look). When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' but instead ask for a ride to McDonald's.

You agree and they climb into the vehicle. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet. (I had my wallet stolen July 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, 24th, & 29th. Also August 1st & 4th, twice on the 8th, 12th, 14th, 16th, & 20th, and very likely again this upcoming weekend.)

So tell your friends to be careful. What a horrible way to take advantage of us older men. Warn your friends to be vigilant.

Wal-Mart has wallets on sale for $2.99 each. I found even cheaper ones for $.99 at the Dollar Store and bought them out in three of their other stores.

Also, you never get to eat at McDonald's. I've already lost 11 pounds just running back and forth from Lowe's, to Home Depot, to Costco, etc.

So please, send this post on to all the older men that you know and warn them to be on the lookout for this scam. (The best times are just before lunch and around 4:30 in the afternoon.)

THE MEANING OF LIFE....

(in 13 words)

THE MEANING OF LIFE.... in 13 words...

The outhouse

Musical Outhouse
Once there was a little boy that lived in the country. They had to use an outhouse, and the little boy hated it because it was hot in the summer and cold in the winter and stank all the time. The outhouse was sitting on the bank of a creek and the boy determined that one day he would push that outhouse into the creek. One day after a spring rain, the creek was swollen so the little boy decided today was the day to push the outhouse into the creek.

So he got a large stick and started pushing. Finally, the outhouse toppled into the creek and floated away.

That night his dad told him they were going to the woodshed after supper.

Knowing that meant a spanking, the little boy asked why.

The dad replied, "Someone pushed the outhouse into the creek today. It was you son, wasn't it?

The boy answered yes. Then he thought a moment and said, "Dad, I read in school today that George Washington chopped down a cherry tree and didn't get into trouble because he told the truth."

The dad replied, "Well, son, George Washington's father wasn't in the cherry tree.