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Thursday, August 29, 2013

The PeePee List


Next time you go to the public toilets you may observe one of the following types of visitors:
Calvin
Excitable Type
Pants are twisted, cannot find hole, rips pants in anger.
Calvin
Sociable Type
Joins pals for a piss whether he wants one or not.
Calvin
Timid Type
Cannot piss if anyone is watching, pretends he has been and sneaks back later.
Calvin
Noisy Type
Whistles loudly, peeps over partition to have a look at the other fellow's tool.
Calvin
Indifferent Type
All urinals being occupied, uses sink.
Calvin
Clever Type
Pisses without holding tool, shows off by adjusting tie at the same time.
Calvin
Vain Type
Undoes 5 buttons when 2 will do.
Calvin
Absent-Minded Type
Opens jacket, takes out tie, pisses in pants.
Calvin
Worried Type
Is not quite sure what he has been up to lately, makes a furtive but close inspection of tool while pissing.
Calvin
Disgruntled Type
Stands for a while, grunts, farts, tries to piss, fails, farts again and walks out muttering.
Calvin
Sneaky Type
Drops silent farts while pissing and looks at the bloke next to him.
Calvin
Sloppy Type
Pisses on shoe, walks out with flies undone, adjusts himself ten minutes later.
Calvin
Learned Type
Reads a book or newspaper while pissing.
Calvin
Childish Type
Watches bubbles at bottom of the urinal while pissing.
Calvin
Strong Type
Bangs tool on side of urinal to remove drops.
Calvin
Drunken Type
Pulls out tool, sees two, puts one away, and pisses in trousers.
Calvin
Embarrassed Type
Covers tool with both hands and pisses through fingers.
Calvin
Cock-Eyed Type
Stands in one cubical and pisses in next one.

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