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Saturday, January 12, 2013

JOKES

The Dangers of Slow Golfers

Joe decides to take his boss Phil to play 9 holes on their lunch. While both men are playing excellent they are often held up by two women in front of them moving at a very slow pace. Joe offers to talk to the women and see if they can speed it up a bit. He gets about half of the way there stops and jogs back.

His boss asks what the problem is. "Well one of those women is my wife and the other my mistress," complained Joe. Phil just shook his head at Joe and started toward the women determined to finish his round of golf. Preparing to ask the ladies to speed up their game, he too stopped short and turned around.

Joe asked "What's wrong?" to which his boss replies, "It's a small, small world Joe, and you're fired."


Crazy Laws - New Jersey

It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season.

You may not slurp your soup.

If you have been convicted of driving while intoxicated, you may never again apply for personalized license plates.

It is against the law to "frown" at a police officer.

Automobiles are not to pass horse drawn carriages on the street.

It is illegal to delay or detain a homing pigeon.

In Bernards Township NJ, it is illegal to frown as the town is a "Frown-Free Town Zone".

In Caldwell NJ, you may not dance or wear shorts on the main avenue.

In Elizabeth NJ, it is forbidden for a woman, on a Sunday, to walk down Broad Street without wearing a petticoat.

In Manville NJ, it is illegal to offer whiskey or cigarettes to animals a the local zoo.

In Newark NJ, it is illegal to sell ice cream after 6pm, unless the customer has a note from his doctor.

In Ocean City NJ, raw hamburger may not be sold.

In Sea Isle City NJ, there will be no boiling of bones on the property.

In Trenton NJ, pickles are not to be consumed on Sundays.

In Trenton NJ, you may not throw a bad pickle in the street.

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