Backhanded Compliments!

15. "That's a terrific jacket! I didn't even know they made them like that anymore!"

14. "You have the greatest untapped potential of anyone I've ever dated."

13. "Relax, sweetie -- your sexual performance was perfectly adequate."

12. "You're very creative. I bet you're very popular with your dungeons & dragons friends."

11. "How on earth did you learn to Macarena so well?"

10. "Your plastic surgeon has such a delightful sense of humor!"

9. "Yeah, but in four years, he'll be just another college graduate looking for a job. *You'll* be a Home Depot assistant manager with four years of work experience."

8. "Good things *do* come in small packages, dear. And in short durations."

7. "Don't think of it as pyromania; you just really know how to light up a room!"

6. "How persistent you are! Most people would have given up and called someone competent by this point."

5. "Those blackheads form the cutest pattern!"

4. "Captain, congratulations for landing back on the carrier with your bomb load completely intact!"

3. "You're smart to do your laundry on Saturday night, when everyone else is out."

2. "Congratulations, Ryan. Your essay makes a convincing argument for a sweeping overhaul of our public educational system."

and the Number 1 Backhanded Compliment...

1. "Wow, that is one deep nostril!"

*TopFive.com