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Sunday, October 31, 2010

Samhain*

samhain

And the fires
Shall burn
And the wheel of life
Shall turn
And the dead will come home, on Samhain

And then
The night sky
On a lunar light
midnight
And the dead will come home, on Samhain

Little children
Dress like beasts
In the lamp-lit
Dark streets
And the dead come alive, on Samhain

Come away
From this island earth
Come back to
The moment of your birth
And the dead come alive, on Samhain

Ever since
The dawn of time
This day has been for them
Lay your minds on the line
And await the dead, on Samhain

When the wall
Grows thin
Allows the dead
To come in
So await the dead, on Samhain

I will see you, come Samhain

------------------
Glen Whitman, Gather.com

*Pronounced: SOW-in (as in "cow"), (or sometimes sew-WIN)
For more pagan pronunciations, click here.
**Read about Samhain

Riddles


What is the favorite health insurance for Goblins, Ghosts and Monsters?

Medi-Scare

Jack-o-lantern

What do goblins and ghosts drink when they're hot and thirsty on Halloween?

Ghoul-aid!!!

Jack-o-lantern

What is a Mummie's favorite type of music?

Wrap!!!!!

Jack-o-lantern

Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?

Because demons are a ghouls best friend!

Jack-o-lantern

What's a monster's favorite bean?

A human bean.

Jack-o-lantern

What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?

A sand-witch.

Jack-o-lantern

Where does a ghost go on Saturday night?

Anywhere where he can boo-gie.

Jack-o-lantern

What do ghosts say when something is really neat?

Ghooooul-ly

Jack-o-lantern

Why did the game warden arrest the ghost?

He didn't have a haunting license.

Jack-o-lantern

Why didn't the skeleton dance at the party?

He had no body to dance with.

Jack-o-lantern

Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch?

At the casketeria.

Jack-o-lantern

What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?

He is mist.

Jack-o-lantern

Where did the goblin throw the football?

Over the ghoul line.

Jack-o-lantern

Why is a ghost such a messy eater?

Because he is always a goblin.

Jack-o-lantern

What do you call a goblin who gets too close to a bonfire?

A toasty ghosty.

Jack-o-lantern

What tops off a ghost's ice cream sundae?

Whipped scream.

Jack-o-lantern

What do you give a skeleton for valentine's day?

Bone-bones in a heart shaped box.

Jack-o-lantern

What is a vampires favorite holiday?

Fangsgiving

Jack-o-lantern

What kind of makeup do ghosts wear?

Mas-scare-a.

Jack-o-lantern

Who was the most famous ghost detective?

Sherlock Moans.

Jack-o-lantern

Who was the most famous witch detective?

Warlock Holmes

Jack-o-lantern

Who was the most famous skeleton detective?

Sherlock Bones.

Jack-o-lantern

Who was the most famous French skeleton?

Napoleon bone-apart

Jack-o-lantern

Which building does Dracula visit in New York?

The Vampire State Building.

Jack-o-lantern

Where do most werewolves live?

In Howllywood, California

Jack-o-lantern

Where do most goblins live?

In North and South Scarolina.

Jack-o-lantern

Where does a ghost refuel his Porche'?

At a ghastly station.

Jack-o-lantern

What do you call a little monsters parents

Mummy and deady

Jack-o-lantern

What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon.

A sour-puss

Jack-o-lantern

How do you scare a mummy

With a yummy dummy in a crash test crummy.

Jack-o-lantern

What do you get when you cross a pumpkin with a squash?

A squashed pumpkin pie.

Jack-o-lantern

Why do ghosts shiver and moan?

It's drafty under that sheet.

Jack-o-lantern

What instrument do skeletons play?

Trom-BONE.

Jack-o-lantern

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He had no guts.

Jack-o-lantern

Why do vampires scare people?

They are bored to death!

Jack-o-lantern

How can you tell a vampire likes baseball?

Every night he turns into a bat.

Jack-o-lantern

What's it like to be kissed by a vampire?

It's a pain in the neck.

Jack-o-lantern

How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery?

All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.

Jack-o-lantern

What song does Dracula hate?

"You Are My Sunshine" and "Sunshine on my Shoulders.

Jack-o-lantern

How does a girl vampire flirt?

She bats her eyes.

Jack-o-lantern

What's it called when a vampire has trouble with his house?

A grave problem.

Jack-o-lantern

Why doesn't anybody like Dracula?

He has a bat temper.

Jack-o-lantern

Why did Dracula go to the dentist?

He had a fang-ache.

Jack-o-lantern

Why are vampires like false teeth?

They all come out at night.

Jack-o-lantern

Who does Dracula get letters from?

His fang club.

Jack-o-lantern

Why did Dracula take cold medicine?

To stop his coffin.

Jack-o-lantern

Why does Dracula wear paten leather shoes?

Sandals don't look good with his tuxedo.

Jack-o-lantern

How do you keep a monster from biting his nails?

Give him screws.

Jack-o-lantern

What can't you give the headless horseman?

A headache.

Jack-o-lantern

Why did the headless horseman go into business?

He wanted to get ahead in life.

Jack-o-lantern

What is a ghosts favorite sale?

A white sale.

Jack-o-lantern

What kind of tie does a ghost wear to a formal party?

A boo-tie.

Jack-o-lantern

What's a ghosts favorite desert?

Boo-berry pie.

Jack-o-lantern

Why do girl ghosts go on diets?

So they can keep their ghoulishfigures.

Jack-o-lantern

When does a ghost have breakfast?

In the moaning.

Jack-o-lantern

What do ghosts drink at breakfast?

Coffee with scream and sugar.

Jack-o-lantern

Where does a ghost go on vacation?

Mali-boo.

Jack-o-lantern

Where does a ghost go on Saturday night?

Anywhere where he can boo-gie.

Jack-o-lantern

What do they teach in witching school?

Spelling.

Jack-o-lantern

Why does a witch ride a broom?

Vacuum cleaners get stuck at the end of the cord.

Jack-o-lantern

What do you call a witch's garage?

A broom closet.

Jack-o-lantern

What do you call two witches living together?

Broommates.

Jack-o-lantern

Why don't mummies take vacations?

They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.

Jack-o-lantern

What's the difference between a mummy and an Indian?

An Indian lives in a teepee, and a mummy lives in T.P.
Shared by Janet

Jack-o-lantern

Why don't witches like to ride their brooms when they're angry?

They're afraid of flying off the handle!

Jack-o-lantern

Who won the skeleton beauty contest?

No body

Jack-o-lantern

What do skeletons say before they begin dining?

Bone appetite!

Jack-o-lantern

Where do baby ghosts go during the day?

Dayscare centers

Jack-o-lantern

Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?

His ghoul friend.

Jack-o-lantern

What monster flies his kite in a rain storm?

Benjamin Frankenstein

Jack-o-lantern

What do ghosts serve for dessert?

Ice Scream

Jack-o-lantern

What's a monster's favorite play?

Romeo and Ghouliet

Jack-o-lantern

What do witches put on their hair?

Scare spray

Jack-o-lantern

Did you hear about the unsuccessful vampire hunter?

He tried to kill a vampire by driving a pork chop
through its heart because steaks were too expensive.

Jack-o-lantern

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have the guts.

Jack-o-lantern

What does a ghost eat for lunch?

A BOO logna sandwich.

Jack-o-lantern

What did the Mommy ghost say to the baby ghost?

Don't spook until your spooken to.

Jack-o-lantern

What kind of protozoa likes Halloween?

An amoeboo!

Jack-o-lantern

How do vampires get around on Halloween night?

By blood vessels.

Jack-o-lantern

Why do ghouls and demons hang out together?

Because demons are a ghoul's best friend!

Jack-o-lantern

What happened to the guy who couldn't keep up
payments to his exorcist?

He was repossessed.

Jack-o-lantern

What is a ghost's favorite TV Crime Show?

America's Most Haunted.

Jack-o-lantern

What is a witch's favorite TV show?

The HeX Files

Jack-o-lantern

How do canine scavengers in Africa find their way in the dark?

They use jackal lanterns.

Jack-o-lantern

What kind of monster do you have to look out for at the Laundromat?

A washin' werewolf.

Jack-o-lantern

What do Skeletons say before eating?

Bone Appetite.

Jack-o-lantern

What do blondes and Jack-O-Lanterns have in common?

Both have blank expressions and are hollow inside.

Jack-o-lantern

Why did the Vampire get fired from the Blood Bank?

He was caught drinking on the job.

Jack-o-lantern

Why do ghosts have so much trouble dating?

Women can see right through them.

Jack-o-lantern

Why are Vampires Democrats?

They want Gore in 2000.

Jack-o-lantern

Why aren't there any famous skeletons?

They're a bunch of no bodies.

Jack-o-lantern

Why did the ghost go into the bar?

For the Boos.

Jack-o-lantern

What happens when you goose a ghost?

You get a handful of sheet

Jack-o-lantern

For The Kids

Halloween Riddles

What do goblins and ghosts drink when they're hot and thirsty on Halloween?

Ghoul-aid!!!

Jack-o-lantern

What is a Mummie's favorite type of music?

Wrap!!!!!

Jack-o-lantern

Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?

Because demons are a ghouls best friend!

Jack-o-lantern

What's a monster's favorite bean?

A human bean.

Jack-o-lantern

What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?

A sand-witch.

Jack-o-lantern

Where does a ghost go on Saturday night?

Anywhere where he can boo-gie.

Jack-o-lantern

What do ghosts say when something is really neat?

Ghoul

Jack-o-lantern

Why did the game warden arrest the ghost?

He didn't have a haunting license.

Jack-o-lantern

Why didn't the skeleton dance at the party?

He had no body to dance with.

Jack-o-lantern

Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch?

At the casketeria.

Jack-o-lantern

What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?

He is mist.

Jack-o-lantern

Where did the goblin throw the football?

Over the ghoul line.

Jack-o-lantern

Why is a ghost such a messy eater?

Because he is always a goblin.

Jack-o-lantern

What do you call a goblin who gets too close to a bonfire?

toasty ghosty.

Jack-o-lantern

What tops off a ghost's ice cream sundae?

Whipped scream.

Jack-o-lantern

What do you give a skeleton for valentine's day?

Bone-bones in a heart shaped box.

Jack-o-lantern

What is a vampires favorite holiday?

Fangsgiving

Jack-o-lantern

What kind of makeup do ghosts wear?

mas-scare-a.

Jack-o-lantern

Who was the most famous ghost detective?

Sherlock Moans.

Jack-o-lantern

Who was the most famous witch detective?

Warlock Holmes

Jack-o-lantern

Who was the most famous skeleton detective?

Sherlock Bones.

Jack-o-lantern

Who was the most famous French skeleton?

Napoleon bone-apart

Jack-o-lantern

Which building does Dracula visit in New York?

The Vampire State Building.

Jack-o-lantern

Where do most werewolves live?

In Howllywood, California

Jack-o-lantern

Where do most goblins live?

in North and South Scarolina.

Jack-o-lantern

Where does a ghost refuel his Porche'?

At a ghastly station.

Jack-o-lantern

Q.what do you call a little monsters parents

mummy and deady

Jack-o-lantern

what do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon.

sour-puss

Jack-o-lantern

how do you scare a mummy

with a yummy dummy in a crash test crummy.

Jack-o-lantern

what do you get when you cross a pumpkin with a squash?

a squashed pumpkin pie.

Jack-o-lantern

Why do ghosts shiver and moan?

It's drafty under that sheet.

Jack-o-lantern

Q: What instrument do skeletons play?

A: Trom-BONE.

Jack-o-lantern

Q: Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

A: He had no guts.

Jack-o-lantern

Why do vampires scare people?

They are bored to death!

Jack-o-lantern

How can you tell a vampire likes baseball?

Every night he turns into a bat.

Jack-o-lantern

What's it like to be kissed by a vampire?

It's a pain in the neck.

Jack-o-lantern

How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery?

All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.

Jack-o-lantern

What song does Dracula hate?

"You Are My Sunshine" and "Sunshine on my Shoulders.

Jack-o-lantern

How does a girl vampire flirt?

She bats her eyes.

Jack-o-lantern

What's it called when a vampire has trouble with his house?

grave problem.

Jack-o-lantern

Why doesn't anybody like Dracula?

He has a bat temper.

Jack-o-lantern

Why did Dracula go to the dentist?

He had a fang-ache.

Jack-o-lantern

Why are vampires like false teeth?

They all come out at night.

Jack-o-lantern

Who does Dracula get letters from?

His fang club.

Jack-o-lantern

Why did Dracula take cold medicine?

To stop his coffin.

Jack-o-lantern

Why does Dracula wear paten leather shoes?

Sandals don't look good with his tuxedo.

Jack-o-lantern

How do you keep a monster from biting his nails?

Give him screws.

Jack-o-lantern

What can't you give the headless horseman?

headache.

Jack-o-lantern

Why did the headless horseman go into business?

He wanted to get ahead in life.

Jack-o-lantern

What is a ghosts favorite sale?

A white sale.

Jack-o-lantern

What kind of tie does a ghost wear to a formal party?

A boo-tie.

Jack-o-lantern

What's a ghosts favorite desert?

Boo-berry pie.

Jack-o-lantern

Why do girl ghosts go on diets?

So they can keep their ghoulishfigures.

Jack-o-lantern

When does a ghost have breakfast?

In the moaning.

Jack-o-lantern

What do ghosts drink at breakfast?

Coffee with scream and sugar.

Jack-o-lantern

Where does a ghost go on vacation?

Mali-boo.

Jack-o-lantern

Where does a ghost go on Saturday night?

Anywhere where he can boo-gie.

Jack-o-lantern

What do they teach in witching school?

Spelling.

Jack-o-lantern

Why does a witch ride a broom?

Vacuum cleaners get stuck at the end of the cord.

Jack-o-lantern

What do you call a witch's garage?

broom closet.

Jack-o-lantern

What do you call two witches living together?

Broommates.

Jack-o-lantern

Why don't mummies take vacations?

They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.

Jack-o-lantern

How much does a Pirate pay to get his ears pierced?

A buck an ear.

Jack-o-lantern

What do the birds sing on Halloween?

Twick or Tweet

Jack-o-lantern

Why should a skeleton drink 10 glasses of milk a day?

It's good for the bones

Jack-o-lantern

What was the witches favorite subject in school?

Spell-ing

Jack-o-lantern

Why did the mummy call the doctor?

Because he was coffin

Jack-o-lantern

What did the doctor give Dracula for his sore throat?

A coffin drop

Jack-o-lantern

What does a vampire fear most?

Tooth decay

Jack-o-lantern

Where did the vampire open his savings account?

At a blood bank

Jack-o-lantern

Where do mummies go for a swim?

To the dead sea

Jack-o-lantern

What is Transylvania?

Dracula's terror tory

Jack-o-lantern

Where does Dracula water ski?

On Lake Erie

Jack-o-lantern

Did you hear the one about the woman who spent all day and night learning how to cast spells?

She wanted to get witch quick.

Jack-o-lantern

Why was the monster athlete so happy?

He won a ghoul medal at the Olympics.

Jack-o-lantern

On what kind of street does the Mummy live?

A DEAD END