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Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Misinformation about HIV in GAY RIGHTS


Television's The View has a reputation for being one of the most gay-friendly programs around. Given this reputation, it makes it all the more surprising and frustrating that The View became ground zero this week for people to spread misinformation and ugly stereotypes about homosexuality and HIV. Gay Rights blogger Mike Jones writes that View host Sherri Shepherd made some unfortunate remarks blaming gay and bisexual African American men for exploding HIV rates among African American populations. But scientific evidence and the Centers for Disease Control say otherwise. Urge Shepherd and The View to retract these dangerous and homophobic comments, and have a thorough and accurate discussion about homosexuality and HIV in the African American community.

Read More >>


Vertical Tango



*Thanks, Gary

Astronomy Picture of the Day


Gary says: This is one of my favorite sites. It's one of the sites I hit first every morning. If the picture of the day is something you want to download, just click on the picture and it will open to the highest definition/biggest size they have available. Many of the pix are copyright, but are not marked on the picture. I try to note that in the notes when I save the ones I like.


Discover the cosmos! Each day a different image or photograph of our fascinating universe is featured, along with a brief explanation written by a professional astronomer.

Colours of the Sun - thumbnail. Credit & Copyright: Nigel Sharp (NSF), FTS, NSO, KPNO, AURA, NSF
Click on the thumbnail to view the picture in full size on the site.

Explanation: It is still not known why the Sun's light is missing some colors. Shown above are all the visible colors of the Sun, produced by passing the Sun's light through a prism-like device. The above spectrum was created at the McMath-Pierce Solar Observatory and shows, first off, that although our yellow-appearing Sun emits light of nearly every color, it does indeed appear brightest in yellow-green light. The dark patches in the above spectrum arise from gas at or above the Sun's surface absorbing sunlight emitted below. Since different types of gas absorb different colors of light, it is possible to determine what gasses compose the Sun. Helium, for example, was first discovered in 1870 on a solar spectrum and only later found here on Earth. Today, the majority of spectral absorption lines have been identified - but not all.


*Thanks, Gary

Star Wars Heroes (gay style)


Star Wars Heroes - gay style
*Thanks, DW

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

S e x Frogs


A blonde goes to her local pet store in search of an 'exotic' pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box full of frogs.


The sign says:

'SEX FROGS'

Frog

Only $20 each!


Comes with 'complete' instructions.


The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her.  She whispers softly to the man behind the counter, 'I'll take one!'

As the man packages the frog, he quietly says to her, 'Just follow the instructions!'

The blonde nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home.

As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she opens the instructions and reads them very carefully.

She does exactly what is specified:

1. Take a shower.
2. Splash on some nice perfume.
3. Slip into a very sexy nightie.
4. Crawl into bed and place the frog down beside you,
and allow the frog to do what he has been trained to do.
She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and to her surprise ... nothing happens!

The blonde is very disappointed and quite upset at this point.

She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says,

'If you have any problems or questions, please call the pet store.' 

So, she calls the pet store. The man says, 'I'll be right over.' Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The blonde welcomes him in and says, 'See, I've done everything according to the instructions. The damn frog just sits there!'


The man ... looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares 'directly into its eyes' and sternly says:

Frog

'LISTEN TO ME...
I'm only going to show you how to do this ONE MORE TIME!'

*Thanks, Gary

The Yellow Shirt

By Patricia Lorenz

The yellow shirt had long sleeves, four extra-large pockets trimmed in black thread and snaps up the front. It was faded from years of wear, but still in decent shape. I found it in 1963 when I was home from college on Christmas break, rummaging through bags of clothes Mom intended to give away.
'You're not taking that old thing, are you?' Mom said when she saw me packing the yellow shirt.. 'I wore that when I was pregnant with your brother in 1954!'

Yellow Shirt
'It's just the thing to wear over my clothes during art class, Mom. Thanks!' I slipped it into my suitcase before she could object. The yellow shirt be came a part of my college wardrobe. I loved it.
After graduation, I wore the shirt the day I moved into my new apartment and on Saturday mornings when I cleaned.
The next year, I married. When I became pregnant, I wore the yellow shirt during big-belly days. I missed Mom and the rest of my family, since we were in Colorado and they were in Illinois . But, that shirt helped. I smiled, remembering that Mother had worn it when she was pregnant, 25 years earlier.
That Christmas, mindful of the warm feelings the shirt had given me, I patched one elbow, wrapped it in holiday paper and sent it to Mom. When Mom wrote to thank me for her 'real' gifts, she said the yellow shirt was lovely. She never mentioned it again..
The next year, my husband, daughter and I stopped at Mom and Dad's to pick up some furniture. Days later, when we uncrated the kitchen table, I noticed something yellow taped to its bottom. The shirt!
And so the pattern was set.
On our next visit home, I secretly placed the shirt under Mom and Dad's mattress. I don't know how long it took for her to find it, but almost two years passed before I discovered it under the base of our living-room floor lamp. The yellow shirt was just what I needed now while refinishing furniture. The walnut stains added character.
In 1975 my husband and I divorced. With my three children, I prepared to move back to Illinois . As I packed, a deep depression overtook me. I wondered if I could make it on my own. I wondered if I would find a job. I paged through the Bible, looking for comfort. In Ephesians, I read, 'So use every piece of God's armor to resist the enemy whenever he attacks, and when it is all over, you will be standing up.'
I tried to picture myself wearing God's armor, but all I saw was the stained yellow shirt.. Slowly, it dawned on me. Wasn't my mother's love a piece of God's armor? My courage was renewed.
Unpacking in our new home, I knew I had to get the shirt back to Mother. The next time I visited her, I tucked it in her bottom dresser drawer.
Meanwhile, I found a good job at a radio station A year later I discovered the yellow shirt hidden in a rag bag in my cleaning closet.
Something new had been added. Embroidered in bright green across the breast pocket were the words 'I BELONG TO PAT.'
Not to be outdone, I got out my own embroidery materials and added an apostrophe and seven more letters.
Now the shirt proudly proclaimed, 'I BELONG TO PAT'S MOTHER.' But I didn't stop there. I zig-zagged all the frayed seams, then had a friend mail the shirt in a fancy box to Mom from Arlington , VA. We enclosed an official looking letter from 'The Institute for the Destitute,' announcing that she was the recipient of an award for good deeds.
I would have given anything to see Mom's face when she opened the box. But, of course, she never mentioned it.
Two years later, in 1978, I remarried. The day of our wedding, Harold and I put our car in a friend's garage to avoid practical jokers. After the wedding, while my husband drove us to our honeymoon suite, I reached for a pillow in the car to rest my head. It felt lumpy... I unzipped the case and found, wrapped in wedding paper, the yellow shirt.. Inside a pocket was a note: 'Read John 14:27-29. I love you both, Mother.'
That night I paged through the Bible in a hotel room and found the verses: 'I am leaving you with a gift: peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give isn't fragile like the peace the world gives. So don't be troubled or afraid. Remember what I told you: I am going away, but I will come back to you again. If you really love me, you will be very happy for me, for now I can go to the Father, who is greater than I am. I have told you these things before they happen so that when they do, you will believe in me.'
The shirt was Mother's final gift. She had known for three months that she had terminal Lou Gehrig's disease. Mother died the following year at age 57.
I was tempted to send the yellow shirt with her to her grave. But I'm glad I didn't, because it is a vivid reminder of the love-filled game she and I played for 16 years. Besides, my older daughter is in college now, majoring in art. And every art student needs a baggy yellow shirt with big pockets.

*Thanks, Robert

Dubai Fountain


Awesome!

Do NOT click on the word NEXT in the upper right of the picture square. Be patient and wait for the fountain to do its thing, and listen to the gorgeous duet.


Turn your lights down.
When it starts, click the box at the bottom right for full screen viewing, then sit back and enjoy... Click on the picture below:

Dubai Fountain - click here to watch the movies

*Thanks, Gary

The Love Doctor

The Love Doctor Dear Love Doctor,

My husband is always 'adjusting' his nuts. Seems like every time I look at him he has his hand on his crotch and moves them around. Why does he do this and is it really a 'man' thing as he calls it?

Signed,

Nucking Futs


Dear Futs,

Also known as "Fluffing the Pillows", The act of adjusting ones testicles due to stickiness, sweatyness or discomfort. This is definitely a 'man' thing and definitely necessary. If men walked on all 4's then the scrotum would hang freely and the testicles would not get 'sandwiched' between the thighs. This can be a very uncomfortable feeling for a guy and sometimes it just MUST be done. According to The Urban Dictionary the act is defined as an Adjusticle; Adjusting your scrotum, testicles, balls, whatever name you wanna give em. "His balls were so sweaty he needed an adjusticle."

The scrotum — which is the sac that contains the testicles — consists of skin and a thin layer of muscle. You never mentioned your husband's age so I am also offering this explanation: As men age, the muscle layer becomes thinner and the skin sags away from the body. A sagging scrotum causes discomfort in some men, especially when wearing tight clothes or underwear.

To relieve this discomfort, your husband should consider using a scrotal support (jockstrap) or supportive underwear. If he has swelling or tenderness in scrotum, he should consult his doctor, as this may indicate an underlying problem, such as epididymitis, that requires evaluation and possible treatment.*(riversidonline.com)

Looking at the picture below, you may be able to see why this is uncomfortable for a guy:

Looking at this - can you see why it may be uncomfortable?

Hope this helps,

The Love Doctor



--Send your questions about love to "The Love Doctor" directly from 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow! I have added an email link that goes direct to The Love Doctor - this will enable quicker responses from him. You can do this by clicking on his picture in the sidebar and put your question in the email. This will ensure that The Love Doctor gets your question. The Love Doctor forwards his replies to me for posting consideration. Note: Due to the high volume of letters that The Love Doctor receives, not all letters will be posted on 'OZ' - but the Love Doctor will reply to every email. (so he says)

Monday, June 28, 2010

Wise Words


Be Wise

Be Wise!Independance

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

- Ted Geisel (Dr. Seuss)


Be Wise!How to avoid foot cramps

Muscle cramps commonly occur in the feet and legs, often during the middle of the night when you are sleeping. A random restless or stretching movement can induce a hard contraction of a single muscle that can’t be voluntarily relaxed. Overuse of a muscle, dehydration, injury, muscle strain or simply holding a position for prolonged periods may result in a muscle cramp.

To reduce the risk of muscle cramps, drink plenty of water to avoid dehydration, warm up before your workouts, cool down afterward and don’t over fatigue your muscles. If you often get foot or leg cramps at night, stretch your feet and legs before going to bed.

- Mayo Clinic -

Be Wise!Clear up warts

Some study found that applying duct tape over problem areas for about a week helped get rid of warts as well as conventional treatment. Duct tape may work by irritating the skin, generating an immune reaction that fights the infection typically responsible for warts.

Be Wise!What NOT to expect

Express affection as if giving a gift and not as if making a loan.


Be Wise!WARNINGS via SMS

Children playin outside cars can cause accidents. but adults playin inside cars can cause children by accident!

Boys should tell their trousers that it ‘s rude to point.

be careful when a guy tells u that he loves u from the bottom of his heart. for this may mean that there is still enough space for another girl on top.

Be friendly to your children as they are the ones that decide where you live when your are old.

When you finally find the perfect guy you think to yourself why isn't he taken?

boys r like mascara, dey run on da first sign of emotion.

while w8ing 4 d right person 2 come- play & hav fun with d wrong 1. but be careful with who u play with bcoz dat person mite b d right 1 all along.

If you fool me once shame on you.If you fool me twice shame on me.

Guys are like roses- watch out for the pricks.

Be Wise!L-I-F-E via SMS

A smile is a curve that can.Straighten out a lot of things.

Life is not measured by breaths we take in a moment but by moments that take our breaths away.

life is short! if you dont look around once in a while you might miss it.

Those who are afraid to fall, will never fly.

Love ur enemys... It really ticks them off.

If you don't Stand for Something. You will Fall for Everything.

da poorest man on earth is not da 1 without money, but is da 1 without a dream.

To the world you may be one person but to one person you may be the world.

Look into the picture of ur present life, 4 the picture determines ur future.

It's better to be hated for who you are than loved for what your not.

Be yourself, there are enough other people.

dont frown,you never know whos falling in love with ur smile.

if u can stay calm while every1 else is goin mad ... u probably havnt completely understood the situation!

FRIENDS are like stars…you do not ALWAYS SEE them but you know they are always there!..

A Person Who Asks A Question Is A Fool For Five Minutes. A Person Who Doesn't Is A Fool Forever.

Dont b afraid 2 expose yourself. Reach out and tell sum1 wot they mean 2 u coz when u decide its the right time it might b 2 late!

Sumtimes its harder 2 say no wen u really mean yes.Its hard 2 close ur eyes wen u really want 2 see.But the hardest thing 2 do is to let go wen u want to stay.

Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think.

What do you do when the only person who can stop you crying, is the person who makes you cry in the first place?

You might regret what you do- but you'll you regret what you don't do SO much more.

2 let go doesnt mean 2 stop carin. 2 let go is to learn theres sumthin beyond. 2 let go means acceptin reality. 2 let go is lovin more coz u only want the best.

If you are the flame you can't be burned.

Yesterday is history tomorrow is a mystery. today is a gift that is why we call it the present!

Intelligence is like a river. The deeper it is the less noise it makes.


Giggles, Guffaws and Groaners


A foursome approached the sixteenth tee. The straight fairway ran along a road and bike path fenced off on the left. The first golfer teed of and hooked the ball into that direction. But the ball went over the fence and bounced off the bike path onto the road, where it hit the tire of a moving bus and was knocked back on to the fairway. As they all stood in silent amazement, one man finally asked him, “How on earth did you do that?” He shrugged his shoulders and said, “You have to know the bus schedule.”



A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley

motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop.

The surgeon was there, waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike.

The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey, Doc, can I ask you a question?"

The surgeon a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take valves out, fix 'em, put 'em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"



The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic...

"Try doing it with the engine running."

HYUK!

John received a free ticket to the Super Bowl. Unfortunately. John's seat was in the last row in the corner of the stadium. He was closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the stadium. He noticed an empty seat 10 rows up from the 50-yard line. He decides to make his way to the empty seat. As he sits down he asks the man next to him if anyone is sitting there. The man told him no, it was empty. John is very excited to have a seat like this at a Super Bowl and asks why in the world no one is using it? The man replied that it was his wife's seat but she passed away. He said this was the first Super Bowl that they have not attended together since they were married in 1968. John said that it was really sad and asked if he couldn't find someone, a relative or a close friend to take the seat?

"No" replied the man, "They're at her funeral!"



Sign on a door: "WARNING: Use door for entering and exiting only!"

HYUK!

A cannibal chief invited over another cannibal chief from a different tribe over for dinner. They sit down and eat the best meat. After dinner, the visiting cannibal chief said, "Wow that was good! Your wife makes the best meat." Then the other cannibal chief said, "Yeah, I'm gonna miss her..."

HYUK!

A man gave the waiter his order, "Black coffee, no cream"

The waiter came back and apologized, "I'm sorry, we're out of cream. Would you take your coffee without milk?"

HYUK!

A tribal farmer watching a Tarzan movie rushed out of the hall the moment a tiger appeared on screen, advancing menacingly towards the audience.

The gatekeeper trying to stop him argued that it's only a movie, to which the tribal replied: “I know it’s a movie, you also know it is, but does the tiger know"?


Woo! HOO!!

The Most Alien Looking Place On Earth


Socotra Island: you have to see it to believe it

(images credit: Jan Vandorpe, socotra)


Imagine waking up on the Socotra Island and taking a good look around you (let's say your buddies pulled a prank on you and delivered you there, and lets also assume that you don't have any hangover from abuse of any substances). After a yelp of disbelief, you'd be inclined to think you were transported to another planet - or traveled to another era of Earth's history.

The second would be closer to the truth for this island, which is part of a group of 4 islands, has been geographically isolated from mainland Africa for the last 6 or 7 million years. Like the Galapagos Islands , this island is teeming with 700 extremely rare species of flora and fauna, a full 1/3 of which are endemic, i.e. found nowhere else on Earth.

Click here for more pictures

*Thanks, DW

The Man and the Buffalo


An Man walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand pulling a male buffalo with the other.

He says to the waiter: 'I Want coffee.'

The waiter says, 'Sure, bud. Coming right up.'


He gets the Man a tall mug of coffee. The Man drinks the coffee down in one gulp, turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of the animal to splatter everywhere and then just walks out.

The next morning the Man returns. He has his shotgun in one hand, pulling another male buffalo with the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter: 'I Want coffee.'

The waiter says 'Whoa, bozo! We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What was all that about, anyway?'

The Man smiles and proudly says, 'Training for position in Canadian Government. Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day.


Sunday, June 27, 2010

The Man from Nantucket


The Original Limerick:

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who kept all his cash in a bucket.
But his daughter, named Nan,
Ran away with a man
And as for the bucket, Nantucket.

This morphed over the years to the obscene version below:

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it.
And he said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin,
"If my ear were a c*nt, I would f*ck it."

I am the man from Nantucket...

So there you have it!

DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN...?


All the girls had ugly gym uniforms?

It took five minutes for the TV warm up?

Nearly everyone's Mom was at home when the kids got home from school?

Nobody owned a purebred dog?

When a quarter was a decent allowance?
You'd reach into a muddy gutter for a penny?

Your Mom wore nylons that came in two pieces??
All your male teachers wore neckties and female teachers had their hair done every day and wore high heels?


You got your windshield cleaned, oil checked, and gas pumped, without asking, all for free, every time? And you didn't pay for air? And, you got trading stamps to boot?

Laundry detergent had free glasses, dishes or towels hidden inside the box?

It was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a real restaurant with your parents?

They threatened to keep kids back a grade if they failed. . . and they did? When a 57 Chevy was everyone's dream car...to cruise, peel out, lay rubber or watch submarine races, and people went steady?

No one ever asked where the car keys were because they were always in the car, in the ignition, and the doors were never locked?

Lying on your back in the grass with your friends?
and saying things like, "That cloud looks like a... "?

Playing baseball with no adults to help kids with the rules of the game?


Stuff from the store came without safety caps and hermetic seals because no one had yet tried to poison a perfect stranger?


And with all our progress, don't you just wish, just once, you could slip back in time and savor the slower pace? Share it with the children of today?

When being sent to the principal's office was nothingcompared to the fate that awaited the student at home?

Basically we were in fear for our lives, but it wasn't because of drive-by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc.? Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat! ? But we survived because their love was greater than the threat.
Send this on to someone who can still remember Nancy Drew, the Hardy Boys, Laurel and Hardy, Howdy Dowdy and the Peanut Gallery, the Lone Ranger, The Shadow Knows,Nellie Bell,Roy and Dale, Trigger and Buttermilk.
. .as well as summers filled with bike rides, baseball games, Hula Hoops, bowling and visits to the pool, and eating Kool-Aid powder with sugar.
Didn't that feel good, just to go back and say, "Yeah, I remember that"?

And remember that the perfect age is somewhere between old enough to know better and too young to care.

How many of these do you remember? Candy cigarettes .
Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water inside.


Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles.
Coffee shops with tableside jukeboxes.

Blackjack, Clove and Teaberry chewing gum.

Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers.

Newsreels before the movie.?

P.F. Fliers.?

Telephone numbers with a word prefix...(Raymond 4-601). Party lines.

Peashooters.

Howdy Dowdy.

Hi-Fi's & 45 RPM records.

78 RPM records!

Green Stamps.

Mimeograph paper.? (killed a few brain cells sniffing that purple ink!)

The Fort Apache Play Set.


Do you remember a time when...?

Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-moe"?

Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "Do Over!"?

"Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest?


Catching the fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening?


It wasn't odd to have two or three "Best Friends"?


The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was "cooties"?

Having a weapon in school meant being caught with a slingshot?


Saturday morning cartoons weren't 30-minute commercials for action figures?

"Oly-oly-oxen-free" made perfect sense?

Spinning around, getting dizzy, and falling down was cause for giggles?

The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team??

War was a card game?

Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle?

Taking drugs meant orange-flavored chewable aspirin?

Water balloons were the ultimate weapon?

If you can remember most or all of these, then you have lived!!!!!!!


O-M-G! Smoking Baby at 2 years old



The Dysfunctional Section of a Hallmark Store


Card 1. I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now that you've come into my life...
(Inside card) -I've changed my mind.

Card 2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life....
(Inside card) -I never believed in Hell until I met you.

Card 3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am....
(Inside card) -That you're not here to ruin it for me.

Card 4. Congratulations on your wedding day!...
(Inside card) -Too bad no one likes your husband.

Card 5. Someday I hope to marry...
(Inside card) -Someone other than you.

Card 6. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age....
(Inside card) -Almost lifelike!

Card 7. When we were together, you said you'd die for me...
(Inside card) -Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your promise.

Card 8. We've been friends for a very long time...
(Inside card) -What do you say we stop?

Card 9. I'm so miserable without you...
(Inside card) -It's almost like you're still here.

Card 10. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy....
(Inside card) -Did you ever find out who the father was?

Card 11. You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket...
(Inside card) -I'd miss you terribly and think of you often.

Card 12. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad! (Available only in Arkansas, Alabama, Mississippi, and West Virginia.)

Card 13. Looking back over the years we've been together, I can't help but wonder...
(Inside card) -What was I thinking?


Saturday, June 26, 2010

Mama and her Bible


Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers and prospered.

Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who lived far away in another city.

The first said "I had a big house built for Mama".

The second said "I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built in the house "

The third said "I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her."

The fourth said "You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and you know she can't read anymore because she can't see very well. I met this preacher who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took twenty preachers 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for twenty years to the church, but it was worth it. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it."


The other brothers were impressed.

After the holidays Mom sent out her Thank You notes. She wrote:

"Milton, the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway"

Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home, I have my groceries delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good Thanks."

"Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound, it could hold 50 people, but all my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing and I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same."

"Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you."

Hyuk-Yuks!


Maria: Chester proposed to me! I wonder if he really loves me—he’s known me only a week.

Marlena: Well, then, he probably does.
HYUK!

Little Joey: I have a new baby sister!

Teacher: Well, I’ll have to send your mother a card.

Little Joey: You don’t have to. She already knows.
HYUK!

Chan: Butch’s girlfriend always laughs at his jokes.

Toshi: They must be pretty clever.

Chan: No—she is.
HYUK!

Omar: Did you hear about that couple who met in a revolving door?

Tiffany: Yes. They started going around together.
HYUK!

Mrs. Treemont: I wanted my children to become ballet dancers so I forced them to spend a lot of time on their tiptoes.

Blanche: How did you do that?

Mrs. Treemont: I put the cookies on the top shelf.
HYUK!

Herb: Little Joey, why do you always get so much dirtier than your older brother?

Little Joey: Gee, Pop, I’m a lot closer to the ground than he is.
HYUK!

Marlena: Do you love me, my darling?

Maurice: Of course, sweetheart.

Marlena: Would you die for me?

Maurice: No, precious. Mine is an undying love.
HYUK!

Newfoundland Fisherman


A Newfoundlander was stopped by a game warden recently with two ice chests full of fish. He was leaving a cove very well known for its fishing.

The game warden asked the man, 'Do you have a license to catch those fish?'

'No sir,' replied the Newfie... 'I don't have a licence - don't need one. You must understand, there are my pet fish."

'Pet fish?'

'Yep, that's the truth. Every night, I take these fish down to the Cove and let them swim around for awhile. Then, when I whistle, they jump right back into this here ice chest and I take them home.'

'That's a bunch of nonsense! Fish can't do that.'

The Newfie looked at the warden for a moment and then said, 'It's the truth Mr. Government Man. I'll show you. It really works.'

'O.K.', said the warden. 'I've got to see this!'

The Newfie stood on a rock and poured the fish into the cove. Then he stood and looked out to sea.

After several minutes, the warden says, 'Well?'

Well, what?', says the Newf.

The warden says, 'When are you going to call them back?'

'Call who back?'

'The FISH', replied the warden!

'What fish?' replied the Newfie.

Moral of the story: We may not be as smart as some city slickers on the mainland but by the lard tundering jaysus we ain't as dumb as some Government employees!

*Thanks, Pam

Soccer Officially Announces It Is Gay



Soccer Officially Announces It Is Gay

Friday, June 25, 2010

WOW! 750,000 VISITORS TO 'OZ'!!!

All I can say is that you are the reason that I continue with 'OZ' - it certainly doesn't make me any money! But it is rewarding to know that people like what I do and that in itself is more than enough incentive for me! Thank You!

Miss California! Gay Marriage! Auto-Tune the News #2 Key Of Awesome



A True Duck Tale from Saskatoon - Heart Warming!


Something really cute happened in downtown Saskatoon this week. Michael R. is an accounting clerk at the Bank and works there in a second story office. Several weeks ago, he watched a mother duck choose the concrete awning outside his window as the unlikely place to build a nest above the sidewalk. The mallard laid ten eggs in a nest in the corner of the planter that is perched over 10 feet in the air. She dutifully kept the eggs warm for weeks, and Monday afternoon all of her ten ducklings hatched.

A True Duck Story from Saskatoon
A True Duck Story from Saskatoon
Michael worried all night how the momma duck was going to get those babies safely off their perch in a busy, downtown, urban environment to take to water, which typically happens in the first 48 hours of a duck hatching.
Tuesday morning, Michael watched the mother duck encourage her babies to the edge of the perch with the intent to show them how to jump off. Office work came to a standstill as everyone gathered to watch.

A True Duck Story from Saskatoon
The mother flew down below and started quacking to her babies above. In disbelief Michael watched as the first fuzzy newborn trustingly toddled to the edge and astonishingly leapt into thin air, crashing onto the cement below. Michael couldn't stand to watch this risky effort nine more times! He dashed out of his office and ran down the stairs to the sidewalk where the first obedient duckling, near its mother, was resting in a stupor after the near-fatal fall. Michael stood out of sight under the awning-planter, ready to help.

A True Duck Story from Saskatoon
As the second one took the plunge, Michael jumped forward and caught it with his bare hands before it hit the concrete. Safe and sound, he set it down it by its momma and the other stunned sibling, still recovering from that painful leap. (The momma must have sensed that Michael was trying to help her babies.)

A True Duck Story from Saskatoon
One by one the babies continued to jump. Each time Michael hid under the awning just to reach out in the nick of time as the duckling made its free fall. At the scene the busy downtown sidewalk traffic came to a standstill. Time after time, Michael was able to catch the remaining eight and set them by their approving mother.

A True Duck Story from Saskatoon
At this point Michael realized the duck family had only made part of its dangerous journey. They had two full blocks to walk across traffic, crosswalks, curbs and past pedestrians to get to the closest open water, the River , site of the famed "River Walk." The on looking office secretaries and several Saskatoon police officers joined in. An empty copy-paper box was brought to collect the babies.
They carefully corralled them, with the mother's approval, and loaded them in the container. Michael held the box low enough for the mom to see her brood. He then slowly navigated through the downtown streets toward the River the mother waddled behind and kept her babies in sight, all the way.

A True Duck Story from Saskatoon
As they reached the river, the mother took over and passed him, jumping in the river and quacking loudly. At the water's edge, Michael tipped the box and helped shepherd the babies toward the water and to the waiting mother after their adventurous ride.

A True Duck Story from Saskatoon
All ten darling ducklings safely made it into the water and paddled up snugly to momma. Michael said the mom swam in circles, looking back toward the beaming bank bookkeeper, and proudly quacking.

A True Duck Story from Saskatoon
At last, all present and accounted for: "We're all together again. We're here! We're here!"

A True Duck Story from Saskatoon
And here's a family portrait before they head outward to further adventures..


Like all of us in the big times of our life, they never could have made it alone without lots of helping hands.

I think it gives the name of the famous "River Walk" a whole new meaning! Maybe you will want to share this story with others.

*Thanks, Barbara

A Real Man


A real man is a woman's best friend. He will never stand her up and never let her down.

He will reassure her when she feels insecure and comfort her after a bad day.

He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do; to live without fear and forget regret.

He will enable her to express her deepest emotions and give in to her most intimate desires.

He will make sure she always feels as though she's the most beautiful woman in the room and will enable her to be the most confident, sexy, seductive, and invincible.

No wait... sorry... I'm thinking of wine.
Never mind.


*Thanks, Bright Eyes

Creepiest 4 Minutes of children's TV ever... (The Wiggles)


*Thanks, Angela

Thursday, June 24, 2010

The Six Pillars of Character


by Michael Josephson, Character Counts

The 6 Pillars of Character
I've talked before about the importance of making moral judgments. The idea is not to encourage categorizing or labeling the character of others but to clarify personal moral obligations in terms of specific values and attributes that make us better people and produce a better society.

The most effective framework I know is built on six core ethical values called the Six Pillars of Character: trustworthiness, respect, responsibility, fairness, caring, and citizenship.

If you want to be a person of character:

First, be worthy of trust; live with honor and integrity; be honest, keep your promises, and do what's right even when it costs more than you want to pay.

Second, treat others with respect; live by the Golden Rule; and avoid physical violence, verbal abuse, prejudice, and all other acts that demean or offend human dignity.

Third, be responsible; exercise self-discipline and self-restraint; do your best, be self-reliant, and be accountable for the consequences of your choices.

Fourth, strive to be fair, don't cheat, be open and consistent, don't jump to conclusions, and be careful in making judgments about others.

Fifth, be caring, kind, empathetic, and charitable; avoid selfishness; and do what you can to improve the lives of others.

Sixth, be a good citizen, do your share to make your community better, protect the environment, participate in democratic processes, play by the rules, and obey laws (unless you have a compelling conscientious objection).

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.


*CharacterCounts.org

Protecting Our Arctic

Canada's Arctic

I've just asked the Canadian government to protect the Arctic from a tragedy like the one in the Gulf of Mexico. Currently, there are no known mechanisms for cleaning up an oil spill in the harsh, icy waters of the Arctic.

Please call on the federal government to halt offshore drilling for oil until or unless we can safeguard our environment, our marine species, and our coastal communities.

Join me and WWF-Canada in petitioning our government to reduce the risk to Canada's Arctic. Take action at WWF Canada.

You can help strengthen the call to protect the Arctic by telling your friends. Click on the permanent link (The date at the bottom of this post), and forward that URL to all of your friends! Thanks for helping! The Inuit and wildlife thank you!


Matchstick Puzzles


These are derived from matchstick puzzles popular from the time when candles and gas lighting meant that almost everyone carried a small box of matches with them. As a pastime, many would know of examples of these lateral thinking puzzles.


Turn the fish around by moving only 3 matches, no overlapping.

Click here for the solution.

For more matchstick puzzles, click here.


*Matchstick Puzzles

Ask The Wizard


The Wunnerful Wizard of 'OZ' Dear Wizard of 'OZ',

I am wondering why public toilet seats are horseshoe shaped yet home ones are round. What's the reason for the difference?


Signed,

Wondering

Dear Wondering,

I scoured the best of the internet on this one*:

There are several reasons that the U-Shaped Toilet Seat is preferable to the original ‘flavoured’ Oval-Shaped Toilet Seat including the following:

1.There is a gap in the front of the seat, giving it a nice exotic U-Shape instead of the old vanilla Oval-Shape you might see at home.

2.This gap, while not only aesthetically interesting, also serves more than one purpose!

3.The gap is an area left out of the seat so that genitals will hopefully not touch the seat of the (public) toilet which prevents the spread of disease and other nasties.

4.The gap in the seat allows for the laziness of some (most) males using the toilet. Rather than being forced to touch and lift the seat (which is both annoying and…kind of disgusting), many male toilet-goers will simply urinate anyway. In the case of the Oval-Shaped Toilet Seat this can have disastrous consequences including the deposit of urine on the toilet seat. The U-Shaped Toilet Seat defeats this problem by removing the area that would be soiled by urine (unless said male was a particularly bad aim) thus providing a cleaner and happier toilet experience for all future users.

U shaped toilet seat

There is however one unfortunate disadvantage with the U-Shaped Toilet Seat; it is a commercial product and usually only found in a public bathroom unless some U-Shaped Toilet Seat enthusiast (and lucky sod) has purchased and installed a U-Shaped Toilet Seat in the bathroom of his or her own home.

Hope this helps.

Yrs,

The Wizard

*Timmy and Johnno