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Friday, April 30, 2010

What celebrity is coming out May 5?


By Jennifer Vanasco, editor in chief, 365gay.com

Howard Bragman’s gay publicity machine has set up the talk show circuit for a mysterious big coming out.

But who will it be?

Zap2It says the celeb is booked for People, the View and several other talk shows. Guesses have been everyone from Anderson Cooper to Ryan Seacrest to Queen Latifah.

Says Zap2It:

“In the past [Brag,am] has helped NFL defensive lineman Esera Tuaolo, LPGA star Rosie Jones, WNBA star Sheryl Swoops and retired NBA center John Amaechi come out.

He also orchestrated the plans for former “Party of Five” Mitchell Anderson, “Married with Children” co-star Amanda Bearse and aided Dick Sargent of “Bewitched” fame to come out on Entertainment Tonight.

Most recently, he planned Chaz Bono’s announcement of a transition from woman to man and got the news about Meredith Baxter being a lesbian out before tabloids reported her taking a lesbian cruise. ”

Whether it matters, of course, depends on who it is. Queen Latifah or Anderson Cooper would be huge. Some C-list celebrity trying to make a comeback? Not so much.
*365Gay.com


Here are some guesses:

Good money is on a female singer like Kelly Clarkson or Queen Latifah. And while common wisdom might suggest "Just go look at Bragman's client list," that's a farce, since Bragman takes on many clients for special projects, like crisis management — or coming out — and may not maintain them as regulars. But for what it's worth, here's who he's currently listed as repping:

Laila Ali
Meredith Baxter
Chaz Bono
Leeza Gibbons
Peter Guber
Ricki Lake
Carlos Mencia
Harold Perrineau
Jeanne Philips
Cathy Schulman
Steve Tisch
Isaiah Washington

Haha. Maybe "faggot" talker Isaiah Washington is about to make his big reveal?

Read more.

The Wizard is still hoping that someday SOON, John Travolta or Jake Gyllenhaal will come to accept himself as one of "us".. oh, and PULEEZE, DON'T LET IT BE Tom Cruise! We don't want him! LOL!


Travolta Gay Kiss?


Glee Gay Power Couple


By Olivia Mistelle, Velvet Park

While Grey’s Anatomy continues to neglect and choke down their dried up lesbian couple story line (or lack there of), Glee is proudly coming out, illuminating the cold dark recess of TV conservatism with flaming torches of dazzling liberal gayness! (Say that three times fast.)

Granted, they basically gave us all of that in season 1, with the show tunes and prancing about in costumes, but the new episodes will showcase a gay power couple to complete the awesomeness of the show!

Glee Cast

The producers of Fox Network’s Best Comedy Series Golden Globe winner are on a nationwide hunt for three new characters to join the cast of season 2 — one of them to be Kurt’s new boy toy. According to EW.com, showrunner Ryan Murphy plans to “make them popular, and out and proud and glamorous. Like prom king and king. We’re doing the opposite of what’s been done.”

Chris Colfer - Kurt

Other spoilers for the upcoming season include an appearance by Olivia Newton-John getting “Physical” with Jane Lynch and a possible Jennifer Lopez cameo. I also hear Sue Sylvester will be performing “Vogue” in what’s being called “the Madonna episode.” I mean, could this show be any gayer? That’s gay enthusiasm folks, not breeder sarcasm.

Too bad Joan Jett won’t be doing a surprise cameo make-out session with Rachel during episode 4’s “Bad Reputation” number and give us desperate, dried-up Grey’s Anatomy-watching dykes something to sing about.


*velvetpark, dyke culture in bloom

Quotes of the day


Life has, indeed, many ills, but the mind that views every object in its most cheering aspect, and every doubtful dispensation as replete with latent good, bears within itself a powerful and perpetual antidote.

– Lydia H. Sigourney, poet (1791-1865)


Forgive many things in others; nothing in yourself.

– Decimius Magnus Ausonius, Latin poet (310-395)


We’re never so vulnerable than when we trust someone – but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy.

– Walter Anderson


How to inflate a tire with WD-40...



*Thanks, DW

Forgive and Forget


Tony and Tracy were newlyweds when they went to a friend’s wedding. Tony drank too much, and when a seductive former girlfriend kissed him on the lips, he kissed her back inappropriately. Tracy was furious.

The next day, Tony was full of remorse. He apologized, sent flowers, pledged his absolute fidelity, and begged for forgiveness. Finally, Tracy absolved him.

Yet in the following months, she repeatedly referred to the incident. Tony protested. “Look, I admitted I was wrong. I’ve done everything I could to make amends. You said you’d forgiven me. Why do you keep rubbing my nose in it?”

Tracy said, “I have forgiven you, but I haven’t forgotten what you did. And I don’t want you to forget it either.”

Clearly, Tracy hadn’t forgiven Tony and was using his indiscretion as power over him.

True forgiveness involves more than saying the words. It involves letting go in a way that frees both parties from grudges and guilt. The phrase “forgive and forget” is often used because without forgetting, there is no true forgiveness.

Forgetting doesn’t mean we don’t remember an incident; it means we voluntarily let go of our right to punish an offender and fully and unconditionally release the wrongdoer from further penalty. In effect, we cancel the moral debt.

When a relationship has been damaged by a hurtful act, the victim can choose to hold on to righteous anger and pain or let them go so the wound can heal and the relationship can flourish. In the end, holding on to a grudge could damage Tracy’s marriage more than Tony’s indecent kiss.

Forgiveness doesn’t come naturally and it isn’t easy, but it’s both generous and wise.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.


*CharacterCounts.org

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Humor: Como avisar seus pais que você é gay




Wish it was THAT easy!

6 pound Stallion!

Check out this ultra-mini horse.
3 day old pinto stallion
Click below:

Three day old pinto stallion.

*Thanks, Gary

Yike Bike

Unfortunately, they cost about $5,000 each...



Click here to go to their site

*Thanks, DW

New Boat Owner


This was this guy's first boat and he was taking it to the lake, but he wasn't quite sure of the correct procedure for launching a boat off a ramp. However, he figured it couldn't be that difficult to do, so he stopped by his Union office for advice, and they just told him...

Just don't let the trailer get too deep in the water when you're launching your boat, and you should be fine".

Well later on, he couldn't understand what they meant by that, as he just could barely get his trailer in the water!

Here's a picture worth a "thousand' words! You're gonna love this guy!!!

They walk among us, get married, have children and vote!

New Boat Owner
*Thanks, DW

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

TROY - The Latest Strip


--Wizard's Note: I have updated all the TROY posts to reflect Michael Derry's new domain. Links are no longer broken--


This a gay-themed comic

Click Above Then choose 'Current Strip'

Click Above Then choose 'Current Strip'.



The new comic, Troy #253 "Cartoon Heroes" is out in the magazines and up online today. Troy and Nick stop being polite and really have at it!

And you can find Michael's books and ebooks for sale at TROYTooner.


Don’t Panic, David Archuleta Is Not Gay


American Idol runner up David Archuletta took to Twitter last night after a report surfaced that he was at a gay club. The article stated that he was only there to see dance artist Charice, a friend of his, and was not looking for a daddy.

What did David do after the performance? David, Charice and his entourage went out for some Pinkberry. I wonder if he had them put rainbow colored sprinkles on it?

(via Towleroad)

Don’t Panic, David Archuleta Is Not Gay

*I’LL BE OK: A mix of style, sex, celebrity, friendship, food, pop culture & support for gay men and the women who love them.


The Golfing Nun


A nun walks into Mother Superior's office and plunks down into a chair.

She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration. 'What troubles you, Sister?' asked the Mother Superior.. 'I thought this was the day you spent with your family.'

'It was,' sighed the Sister. 'And I went to play golf with my brother. We try to play golf as often as we can. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ.'

'I seem to recall that,' the Mother Superior agreed. 'So I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?'

'Far from it,' snorted the Sister. 'In fact, I even took the Lord's name in vain today!'

'Goodness, Sister!' gasped the Mother Superior, astonished. 'You must tell me all about it'

'Well, we were on the fifth tee...and this hole is a monster, Mother -540 yard Par 5, with a nasty dogleg left and a hidden green...and I hit the drive of my life. I creamed it. The sweetest swing I ever made.

And it's flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted...and it hits a bird in mid-flight !'

'Oh my!' commiserated the Mother. 'How unfortunate! But surely that didn't make you blaspheme, Sister!'

'No, that wasn't it,' admitted Sister. 'While I was still trying to fathom what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway!'

'Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!' sympathized the Mother..

'But I didn't, Mother!' sobbed the Sister. 'And I was so proud of myself! And while I was pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky and grabs the squirrel and flies off, with my ball still clutched in his paws!'

'So that's when you cursed,' said the Mother with a knowing smile.

'Nope, that wasn't it either,' cried the Sister, anguished, 'because as the hawk Angry Nunstarted to fly out of sight, the squirrel started struggling, and the hawk dropped him right there on the green, and the ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches from the cup!'

Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said...

'You missed the fucking putt, didn't you?'

*Thanks, Bright Eyes

Thoughts on Ancient Weather - An Essay


Ok, this has been bugging me since I saw one episode of the Ancient Weather series, and it makes you think.

They say at the end of the last ice age, north America was covered by the Laurentian Glacier, and it held back Lake Agassiz. Well eventually the part of the Glacier that made the Damn that held back the water of Lake Agassiz (1,100-km (700-mile)-long by 300-km (200-mile)-wide) crumbled, releasing the larges tsunami that this planet has ever had. It dumped into the Atlantic ocean crossed into the Mediterranean sea and filled the black and red seas. This is thought to be the Noah’s Arc Flood that yes would have taken a few months for the water to settle down enough for it to be safe on land anywhere lower than the highest places of the world. Yes it would have cause a potential extinction event and the only humans to survive would have been the ones that were on boats at the time of the tsunami.

Ok. There have been several ice ages in the duration of hominids more correctly Homo Sapians about 160,000 years ago. That is when the first Human era Ice age started. The only places left on the planet were about 10 to 15 watering holes in Africa, everywhere else on the planet would have been un inhabitable. Just think about stories. Lake Agassiz busted it’s banks about 11,500 years ago so Noah would have been then the bible says 4000 years, but remember at the time 1000 would have been like 999 trillion + 1 to us a number that right now is kinda useless. So they really didn’t have a way to tell time other than say thousands and thousands of years. Well when you are talking 100,000 or more 160,000 then it easily puts Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden anywhere from 50,000 a feasibly 160,000 years or more, there was just no way to tell time. So let’s say the earth was in a paradise phase, and then within 10 years (watch the series, ice ages and heat wave ages change temps within 10 years) the weather goes bad, and they have to leave (doesn’t that sound suspiciously like being kicked out of Eden?) so now because of the Ice age the only place habitable by humans is Africa. The population of humankind went from about 100,000 to 10,000 another extinction event. They would have been forced to live around these little watering holes. They would have been forced to domesticate herd animals for food otherwise the animals would leave. HELLO The Birth of Modern Man!!!!!. Even the Story of Caine and Able can be explained.

One of the watering holes had the family of Adam and Eve and caine murdered able. Well there were no other people on earth according to the bible, well these people at each watering hold would think they were the only people left on the planet because leaving the watering hole meant death, and you didn’t know about the other watering holes. Well Cain was ashamed of himself for killing Able, and he left, and accidentally stumbled upon another watering hole with more people. All of a sudden the human race doubled. Even the path the humans took over then next 130 millennium and the death of the Neanderthal race. The migration of the human race, the explanations of the differences that humans look from Africa, Australia, Europe Asia north America and south America, can all be explained by the next 7 ice ages.
See Religion explained. Now what made humans create language, well I am guessing that sitting around the watering holes got pretty boring and they created song, which started the raise to language.

The need for keeping the domestic animals together made man pick up a stick and use his first tool.

And the first time we recognized ourselves in a pool of water gave us self awareness.
The rest just fell into place because we are so damned curious about EVERYTHING
I bet if we go to ancient weather, look for things like forest fires, drought, meteorites, and ice ages, we could match up about 70 percent of the religions of the worlds. I would love to do a bible study and compare it with this.


*Thanks, Daryn

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Are You A Caffeine Addict?

Click here to take the quick Quiz
Click above to take a quick test!

Carrots, Eggs, & Coffee!

Coffee LoverA carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee...You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up; she was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, ' Tell me what you see.'

'Carrots, eggs, and coffee,' she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, 'What does it mean, mother?'

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting.. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

'Which are you?' she asked her daughter. 'When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.

Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

Let us all be coffee!

Police Bumper Snickers

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SHOTGUN! Official Rules


Iguana rides shotgun!
The Theory

The term "Shotgun" refers to the front passenger seat of an automobile. "Calling Shotgun" is the act of claiming the position of Shotgun for one's self. As this position is the most coveted of all positions when riding in a car, the following list of rules has been created to ensure that Shotgun can be acquired in a fair and equitable manner by any passenger of an automobile. Click here for the complete set of rules.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Ask The Love Doctor


 The Love Doctor Dear Love Doctor,

Is it unreasonable to expect my partner to remember my birthday? We've been together almost five years, and every year he misses it.

He really is very sweet, but he can never remember dates. He says he doesn't mean to, but he can't can't keep it straight.

Birthdays are important to me. For his, I planned a big night and scrimped and saved to buy him new golf equipment.

But, when mine rolls around, nothing!

Last week, I thought I had left enough hints that the big day was coming, but he didn't pick up on it.

Now, he's off on a business trip, and I'm sitting alone and my birthday.

Even a card would have been nice.

What can I do to keep him on track.

Signed,

Disappointed


Dear Disappointed,

Oh, my you are down aren't you? Well, some men just don't remember birthdays and anniversaries. I'm sure he was upset when he discovered he had missed it.

Now, then, it is time to start planning for next year. For his birthday, get him a palm or daytimer, and be sure you fill in the important dates, like, your birthday, Christmas, anniversary.

Get him into the practice of using it right from the start.

Second, whenever he misses a date, make a federal case out of it. Sometimes a little drama is needed. Have a hissy fit. Give him the silent treatment. Make it a big enough show that he won't forget ever again.

I love my birthdays too, and I'd get terribly upset if the day were missed by some uncaring clod. So remember: Men have to be trained just like a puppy. And, sometimes, you need tough love.

The Love Doctor


--Send your questions about love to "The Love Doctor" directly from 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow! I have added an email link that goes direct to The Love Doctor - this will enable quicker responses from him. You can do this by clicking on his picture in the sidebar and put your question in the email. This will ensure that The Love Doctor gets your question. The Love Doctor forwards his replies to me for posting consideration. Note: Due to the high volume of letters that The Love Doctor receives, not all letters will be posted on 'OZ' - but the Love Doctor will reply to every email. (so he says)


New Words


Read these carefully. They can twist your tongue! -

Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

12. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you

14. Glibido: All talk and no action.

15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've acciden tally walked through a spider web.

17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are:

1. Coffee, n. the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, adj. appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. abdicate, v. to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade, v. to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly, adj. impotent.

6. Negligent, adj. absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph, v. to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, n. olive-flavored mouthwash.

9 flatulence, n. emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, n. a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle, n. a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude, n. the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon, n. a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster, n. a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism, n. the belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent, n. an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.


YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG


Traffic cops - You're Doing It Wrong!
*Thanks, Brighrt Eyes

Archie Comics announces new gay character


By the CNN Wire Staff

The debut of openly gay character Kevin Keller(CNN) -- Riverdale High School, the stomping ground of comic book legend Archie Andrews, will open its doors to its first openly gay student.

Kevin Keller will be the new student to join Archie, Jughead, Veronica, Betty and Reggie, Archie Comics publications announced Thursday.

"The introduction of Kevin is just about keeping the world of Archie Comics current and inclusive. Archie's hometown of Riverdale has always been a safe world for everyone. It just makes sense to have an openly gay character in Archie comic books," said Jon Goldwater, Archie Comics co-CEO.

Kevin will make his entrance in the comic book in September.

Archie publishers provided a sneak peak of the the plot and a page of the comic book on its website.

The story begins when Kevin comes to Riverdale and promptly beats Jughead in a burger-eating contest. This gets the attention of Veronica who realizes that she is falling for Kevin.

"Mayhem and hilarity ensue as Kevin desperately attempts to let Veronica down easy and her flirtations only become increasingly persistent," Archie Comics said on its website.

Finally, Kevin confides in Jughead.

"It is nothing against her. I'm gay," the new character says.


*Cnn.com
**Thanks, Darcene

Snapshots From Hubble - New York Times

The Hubble Space Telescope has been surveying the universe, from our neighboring planets to the distant stars, for nearly two decades. Located 350 miles above the surface, it has a clear view of the cosmos, unobscured by Earth's atmosphere. Here are a handful of the thousands of images taken by Hubble.
Click here for the slideshow

*Thanks for the idea, Erwin

Sunday, April 25, 2010

A Train That Doesn't Stop!


A train that never makes any stops, but loads and unloads in a unique way. The voice is Mandarin but the video is self explanatory.

— No time is wasted. The bullet train is moving all the time. If there are 30 stations between Beijing and Guangzhou , just stopping and accelerating again at each station will waste both energy and time.

A mere 5 min stop per station (elderly passengers cannot be hurried) will result in a total loss of 5 min x 30 stations or 2.5 hours of train journey time!


*Thanks, Erwin

That's Gay: PROM!


Bryan Safi takes on the recent attempts to degayify one of America’s greatest institutions — prom! And if we learn one thing from this it’s that the folks of Itawamba Agricultural High School are real fortunate Constance McMillen didn’t get all Carrie on their asses.



Wise Words


Be Wise

Be Wise!To be educated

To be educated is not hard, it is a continuous process of hard work.


Be Wise!Yoga for Stress Management

Hatha yoga is a practice which is 5000 years old, and is now being used throughout the world by millions to improve health and reduce stress. Forward bends, whether done standing or seated, are said to be the most relaxing poses for the nervous system. Several times daily, take a few moments to fold forward from the hips, keeping the spine long, and breath deeply, completely restoring calmness and energy. If you have high blood pressure or glaucoma, this pose should only be done from a seated position so that your head remains higher than your heart.

Be Wise!The Wall That Lasts

Making love, is to a lasting marriage, as mortar is to the bricks of a wall; you can have the mortar without the brick wall and you can have a brick wall without the mortar, at least for a while.


Be Wise!Shopping!

Save time at the grocery store by making a list of things you need to buy ahead of time. Try to avoid spontaneousely picking items from the store, because you will probably need to buy complimentary things that go with this extra item. Following your shopping list will save you time on wondering what to buy and money by not buying not needed items.


Be Wise!Interdependance

The maturity continuum is a movement from dependence to independence to interdependence. All phases of life start out (personal, professional) as dependent (take care of me, you do it). Hopefully, in a reasonable period we move to independence( I take care of myself, I can do it). To reach true maturity we finally say: we can do it, we can cooperate, we can create something bigger than ourselves.


Be Wise!Corporate Corruption

Allowing managers and directors to choose and pay their accountants directly; is like letting the warden and guards be chosen and paid by the convicts.


Be Wise!Minds

Little minds talk about people, Average minds talk about events, and Great minds talk about ideas.


Giggles, Gaffaws and Groaners...


Now that we are into renaming things like Mount Diablo, President Obama wants to rename the San Andreas Fault. His suggestion, Bush's Fault.



The economy is so bad that: Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

HYUK!

After the examination the physician handed the patient a prescription and said, “Take this medicine after each meal.” “But, Doc,” confessed the patient, “I have not eaten in four days.” “Fine,” said the doctor. “The medicine will last longer.”



A young man, who was also an avid golfer, found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured that if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in 9 holes before he had to head home. Just as he was about to tee off, an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany the young man as he was golfing alone. Not being able to say no, he allowed the old man to join him.

To his surprise, the old man played fairly quickly. He didn't hit the ball far, but plodded along consistently and didn't waste much time. Finally, they reached the 9th fairway and the young man found himself with a tough shot. There was a large pine tree right in front of his ball and directly between his ball and the green. After several minutes of debating how to hit the shot, the old man finally said, "You know, when I was your age, I'd hit the ball right over that tree."

With that challenge placed before him, the youngster swung hard, hit the ball up, right smack into the top of the tree trunk and it thudded back on the ground not a foot from where it had originally laid.

The old man offered one more comment, "Of course, when I was your age, that pine tree was only 3 feet tall."

HYUK!

A family was having dinner and the little boy said,"Dad I don't like the holes in the cheese!" Well son, eat the cheese and leave the holes on the side of the plate

Woo! HOO!!

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Seriously, WTF????


Seriously, WTF????
People are strange when you're a stranger
Faces look ugly when you're alone
Women seem wicked when you're unwanted
Streets are uneven when you're down

When you're strange
Faces come out of the rain
When you're strange
No one remembers your name
When you're strange
When you're strange
When you're strange

People are strange when you're a stranger
Faces look ugly when you're alone
Women seem wicked when you're unwanted
Streets are uneven when you're down

When you're strange
Faces come out of the rain
When you're strange
No one remembers your name
When you're strange
When you're strange
When you're strange

When you're strange
Faces come out of the rain
When you're strange
No one remembers your name
When you're strange
When you're strange
When you're strange*

*"People Are Strange" -- Jim Morrison, The Doors
**Thanks, Bright Eyes